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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253470">Grave News</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerds_and_Lairs/pseuds/Nerds_and_Lairs'>Nerds_and_Lairs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Beetlejuice (1988), Beetlejuice (Cartoon 1989), Beetlejuice - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Marriage Proposal, Neitherworld (Beetlejuice), One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sick Character, Suicide Attempt, Suspense, Torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:48:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>60,934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerds_and_Lairs/pseuds/Nerds_and_Lairs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been five years since the wedding took place. The Maitlands have moved on, Lydia is dying and though she is ready to go, her father isn't so sure he is ready to let his little girl go to where he can't follow. That's where a certain Ghost with the Most comes in to play. Is Charles Deetz willing to strike a deal with a certain Ghost with the Most, allow a greater evil to take Lydia's soul, or wait around long enough for Lydia to take her life with her own hands?</p><p>If you came looking for a happy ending, you're in the wrong place. Still on the fence of a confirmed ship but there will certainly be pining.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Beetlejuice &amp; Lydia Deetz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Grave News</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"I have some grave news for you," stated Dr. Gary Harrison who sat before the Deetz family. "It would seem that Lydia has come down with a very rare and- frankly terrible disease." The trio stared at the doctor in silence before Charles rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you going to tell us what it is or do we have to pay for another visit to find out?" Both his daughter and wife shot him a look but lord knew the man did not have patience for any of this. Not for the city traffic it took to get here, not for the hospital bills, and he sure as hell did not have the patience for the dramatic delivery given.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell us what she has and we'll do whatever it is to make Lydia better," Delia chimed in, placing a reassuring hand on Lydia's shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl had looked like she had before the Maitland's showed up in their life. Pale, fragile, lifeless at times even. For the first few months, the parents assumed it was depression. When Barbara and Adam passed on earlier than expected Lydia just broke. Their 125 year sentence of haunting their home was cut to three years, and it was all because they found the closure they didn't have in life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was beyond fucked up in Lydia's mind. They were forced to move from the very thing they sought after. She couldn't tell which was crueler; life or the afterlife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Harrison sighed as he removed his glasses and stared directly at Lydia. Trying to find the right words was pointless in this situation. The girl was only 18, a girl her age should have spent the summer with friends, preparing to go off to University or traveling. Instead, Lydia Deetz spent the last two years in and out of these halls, getting blood drawn and medical evaluations of all kinds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm afraid that Lydia has Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease," started Dr. Harrison. "It's a degenerative disease that is fatal and incurable, given what we know, we expect Lydia to be dead within six months."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Harrison expected the anger from Charles, he expected the sobbing fits from Delia, but he did know what would come from the daughter. Tears, perhaps. Shock would be more likely in his professional experience, but that wasn't what Lydia did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia gave him the most radiant smile he had ever seen from the girl since their appointments began. Honestly, it may have been the happiest he had ever seen anyone, at least in this room. She rose to her feet and thanked him and left his office in stride. Getting up from his chair, ignoring Charles’ outrage the doctor followed the teenager out and caught her by the wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia, do you understand what I just told you? You're terminally ill," he whispered as they were now in the hall. Lydia didn't miss a beat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I understand perfectly Dr. Harrison, I'm going home."</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Lydia watched the rain streak across the window on the drive back to Connecticut, trying to block out the conversation her father and Delia were having.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Charles, how could have this happened? It's a one in a million chance. ONE IN A MILLION!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I read the report too, Delia. It's likely that her mother's side of the family held it. It is hereditary, but hell, the doctors don't even know for a fact how it's caused. For all we know, Lydia could have been misdiagnosed," Charles muttered, gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were white. "We'll get a second opinion." Delia nodded in response before looking back to Lydia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll sell all of my art if I have too. We aren't going to let you die, you aren't getting away from us that easily!" Delia teased only to keep herself from breaking out into tears again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think I'll become a ghost, or will I get to see Adam and Barbara?" Lydia asked from the rear of the car, making both of the parents whip their heads in her direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have to be kidding me Lydia," growled her father. "Out of everything that is going on you're thinking about them?! I know you miss them, I for one miss how you were with them around, but Christ! You could end up like Beetlejuice for all we know!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles regretted the words as soon as they came out. They hadn't so much as uttered the man's existence since they patched up the hole from the sandworm that devoured the perverted ghost, and now he said his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span>HIS NAME.</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <span>"Charles!" Delia shouted smacking his arm, "Are you mad?! You said his name! You said his name!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I KNOW I SAID HIS NAME DELIA, I J-" Charles took in a deep breath trying to calm his nerves before he caused an accident on the road. "Listen, let's just drop this subject for the rest of the drive. I don't want to hear anything about him, or any other ghosts, understood?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His question was met with silence, which he acknowledged as the answer to his question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia rested her head against the car window once more, watching the streaks race by, but now her thoughts were no longer the pleasant 'what if' of being reunited with Barbara and Adam, but of having to spend eternity around Beetlejuice.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>In the Neitherworld, Beetlejuice hovered over a newspaper scoping out the obituaries. They say that print is dying, but so were all these poor saps. Nothing but losers for the most part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Too fat, too smart, ugh, way too ugly," snorted the ghoul in disgust. He was still on probation with Juno, and how he didn't end up with a one-way ticket to Saturn was beyond him but he wasn't going to argue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not seeing any targets of interest, Beetlejuice crumpled up the paper and tossed it over his shoulder. He was in a five-year dry spell, both with work and the ladies. Every lead he got either ended up in a complete bust or Juno would beat him to the clients. She never had time for the new clients back in the good old days, but now the bitch seemed to show up to each of her clients the minute they were pronounced dead!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How's a guy supposed to make a living in these conditions?!" Shouted the ghost in the nearly empty room, cockroaches and flies also occupied his flat in the land of the dead. He had begun working harder than ever, stalking the dying like he was grim reaper so that he could get the jump on Juno. So far all his potential clients died of natural causes, but he kept his fingers crossed for something unexpected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A serial killing nurse in a hospice,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An old broad falling down a staircase,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone said his name,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An old geezer taking Viagra,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A classic case of murder for inheritance money or-</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice paused feeling the familiar pull. Someone said his name... Someone said his name! </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A living client was one-third of the way of getting him a contract, but more so he recognized the tension-filled voice. The ghost couldn’t help but laugh, someone said his name and it was Charles Deetz of all people. The Ghost with the Most began rubbing his hands together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh this is just too good!" </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Back to Business</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Charles Deetz sat in his den, his eyes scanning over the doctor's report on Lydia's condition. He wasn't sure which was worse. The process it would take for her to die, or the fact that her life was coming to an end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Damn it," Charles whispered as he leaned back in his chair. "As if she wasn't already a handful..." He whispered but closed his eyes in shame. His daughter was dying and here he was making comments as though she meant for this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He honestly wouldn't be surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since Adam and Barbara left to the next realm, wherever that was, Lydia went right back to her morose self. Never saw her friends from school, nor took an interest in boys, though truth be told he was slightly thankful for that, but Lydia spent all her free time in her darkroom when not in school, or at her job at the one hour photo next to the post office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She just hid from the world, as though it had come to an end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cherished his daughter, truly he did. She was all that remained from his first marriage. He lost Jane to her heart condition, and now he was losing Lydia as well? It almost seemed like someone wanted him to be miserable!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You called Chuck?" Came that mocking tone. For a moment he thought he was imagining it, but it became clear that he wasn't alone when he spotted Beetlejuice sitting on the edge of his replica yellow warbler nest, wearing that striped suit that he wore when they first encountered him, when in human form that is. He was grinning up at him with those dead green eyes shining.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You!" He shouted. "What are YOU doing here!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well Damn Chucky, don't get your panties in a knot, you called me after all..." said the ghost as he leaned against the egg and folded his arms. "Now how about you say my name- I so do love to hear you scream it." He teased before he started cracking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are disgusting- Get out of here before I have Otho fly down here and-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what? Sit on me? Ha! That pig couldn't touch me even if he had that book! I'm not like the other ghosts, oh no- I'm the Ghost with the Most!" He said, smirking as he leaned forward, resting his hands beneath his chin and dangled his legs like a child would when they sat in a chair that was too big for them. "But you know what? I think I’d much rather hear your daughter say my name..." The ghost said, trying to get a rise out of the man again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'm pleased to inform you, that she won't be able to even say your name within the coming months. She's dying, and being that its not suicide or a freak accident, you can't get to her."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice blinked at the news. "Whoa, you serious? Damn that's a shame- Though guess it's true when they say only the good die young, and I'd give her a 8... Inches that is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles knew what he was up to. Frustration was his weakness, and he could feel himself cracking from the inside at this conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You never stop, do you? Everything is just one joke after another for you isn't it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice chuckled at the comment. "Well I mean come on, life is just one big joke, and I really want to get in on that again," Beetlejuice said as he climbed up upon the replica of a blue jay egg. "Listen, Chuck, you're kid is dying to get in, I'm dying to get out, but I'm sure you don't want your little angel to end up as an angel this soon in the game, so how about we make a deal. You say my name not once, but twice and I'll keep your little girl safe. Hell, I’ll even make her into a proper woman for ya, free of charge!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles gagged at the thought of the ghoul's hands on his daughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You just stay away from her!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Face it, Chuck, I'm your only option... Don't ya trust me?" asked the ghost with his arms spread open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You nearly killed me, tricked my daughter into nearly marrying you- paralyzed my boss and his wife! You terrorize just about everyone you come into contact with!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, whoa now! That marriage was a fair deal, and I kept my side of the bargain, the way I see it, you guys still owe me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles scoffed at the response from the ghost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Beetle- ... I didn't know that marrying underage girls was a fair and legal process."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, yea, which is why I learned that you should always have a contract!" He said just as a parchment appeared on Charles's desk. "So how about you sign that bad boy, say my name two more times and we'll get this show on a road!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dad?" Called Lydia from outside of the door and Beetlejuice vanished just as she opened the door to see her father. Her eyes scanned the room briefly before landing back onto her father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not to be morbid at all Dad, but you look like you just saw a ghost... Are you okay?" She asked, and Charles almost wondered if she could read his mind, but then again he did wonder a lot of things about her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, no honey... But Lydia I-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dad," Lydia interrupted as she ventured further into the den which by instinct made Charles place Lydia's medical record under some of the contracts. "Look I'm- I'm sorry about before. I just really miss Adam and Barbara." She started out as she sat in the chair across from his desk and picked up the fake nest on his desk before he could stop her. "I wish I could explain it without making it seem like I prefer them more or something but- I just… I just didn't belong until I met them, you know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles gave a heavy sigh. "Lydia... I know you miss them, but do you really think that they want to see your life come to a halt on their behalf? Believe me, it's not flattering." Charles said leaning forward reaching out to take hold of his daughter’s hand, as well as the nest that laid in it. Lydia rolled her eyes at the comment and swiftly stood up, circling around the chair and moved to one of the bookcases, still clutching the nest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, dad it's not like I'm asking for it. But do you ever think that maybe it's meant to be? You know... Like fate and what not?" She asked, but her father just shook his head, his eyes locked on the replica looking for a certain ghost rather than taking his daughter’s vulnerable disposition into account.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honey, you sound like a suicide cult member," he urged as he rose from his seat. "Look, sweetie... You and I both know that there is nothing either of us can do to prevent this. Not even your moth-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stepmother," Lydia corrected making Charles wince at the timeless mistake he could never seem to correct.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right. Not even your stepmother can prevent what is to come. But it's like you don't even care about life, about what will happen to us,” the father said as he approached his daughter who dismissed the comforting to come, tossing the next to him which Charles juggled in the air before securing it with both hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I figured I couldn't talk to you about this," spat the teenager as she walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Once she was out Charles gave a sigh, partly out of frustration, but there was relief in her departure. Charles’ gaze went down to the nest in his hands just as one of the plastic eggs cracked open, revealing Beetlejuice once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds like someone has daddy issues,” taunted the ghost as he folded his arms over the broken edge of the eggshell. “But hey... I don't mind putting in some leg work with her. She'll be given all the attention she needs from me,” Beetlejuice said with a shit-eating grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, will you shut up,” growled Mr. Deetz as he plopped the nest back onto his desk, Beetlejuice having little time to prepare for the sudden drop, an overly exaggerated yelp coming from the ghost as he fell back into the eggshell. “Maybe it's best that she moves on. She's clearly miserable without the Midlands and she would be sure to commit suicide if she were to marry you!" He snapped but the ghost could only chuckle as he clambered out of the bird nest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh Charlie, ... You don't know a thing about life after death do you?" He said as he landed onto the desk. "Alright Chucky, listen up because I am going to school you now. Your little goth princess couldn't kill herself if I was to wed her because in marriage we split everything... She'd get some of my powers, I’d get a bit of her soul... Which is how we would both remain in this world. She couldn't pass on without the other half so in order for her to die I would have to die too... And I bet you are wondering why I am telling you this so I'll just throw you a bone, Chuck. If you let her pass on, trust me when I say this. That kid is too special to just become a regular spirit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles narrowed his eyes, focusing on Beetlejuice now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do I have to fucking spell it out? Your little girl isn't like the rest of the world. See the only reason why you see me is because I allow you to see me... Lydia doesn't need a ghost's permission to see them. She just does!” Exclaimed Beetlejuice as he threw up his hands. "So one way or another... I would get to spend some quality time with your precious 'pumpkin' because there is a pretty good chance she’ll end up in MY neck of the graveyard." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles shook his head instantly</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh no, you can't fool me! I read that welcome guide! Where you are from, everyone committed suicide, it's a punishment!" But Beetlejuice laughed in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh it's a punishment alright, but not everyone off’d themselves ya know. Oh no, Charlie Brown! Once upon a time, I was alive, and I was special too... I didn't see ghosts or nothin, but I did have a gift, and I was killed for said gift, but I'm glad I was! Because if I were to have grown old or sick then I would have a worse fate… Something that Lyd's will see if we don't make this deal."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gift? Wait, what are you talking about? There was nothing about gifts in that book, and what fate could be worse than spending eternity with you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ghost could only grin as he shoved his hands into his pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ahhh maybe later Chuck, I'm actually running a little late for a gig. See I've been haunting this crazy guy in a mental hospital for a couple of weeks just for kicks, and his nurse is one red hot babe, and I hear she just had her tits remodeled so I'd like to see that. Maybe I'll see you next week over some wings or something-" but Beetlejuice found himself in the clutches of one severely pissed off Charles Deetz before he could take off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Listen here, BUD! You and I are going to talk NOW on just what you mentioned about the gifts and being special. Spill it!" Charles ordered with a forceful shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice smirked all the same. Hook, Reel... Sinker. He wondered if everyone these days were suckers. Most likely. How could you explain the financial success of tv advertising? Beetlejuice simply leaned back into the man's grasp, soaking it in like he was in a beach chair on some tropical coast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well Chuck, I know I’m not your favorite ghost, but believe it or not, I’m not the worst." He said as Charles set him back down on the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Actually that is hard to believe," Charles replied as the ghoul dusted himself off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well believe it brother, now I'm considered what the living would call a Poltergeist, a real trouble maker but come on, who doesn't love a bad boy?" He asked with a wink and in response it Charles rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you get to the point already?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine, have it your way boss!" Beetlejuice snapped back before he pressed on. "You got your Poltergeists like myself though like I said, we are only looking for fun. The Maitlands were just your regular run of the mill ghosts, haunting the place cuz they couldn’t cross over. Then you have your demons. Bit more aggressive than most and they can be around for a number of reasons. Body possessions, wanting to drag some poor soul to hell with them, guess to make them their afterlife bitch... You have Phantoms, but really they are just putting on a show, but then you have soul keepers. Those guys are pretty creepy." He said glancing up at Charles who looked to be sitting on the edge of his seat and the ghoul continued. "Never believed in voodoo till I saw one of them. They gather souls, sometimes they start while they were still alive. Enslaving other souls for their afterlife," he said before smiling. "Those guys are nothing compared to what I refer to as a Soul Sucker."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles blinked. "A Soul Sucker? Well that doesn't sound too horrifying," Charles said with a shrug but Beetlejuice shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is Serious Chuck! They are the last things you want to deal with! Ya know the Grim Reaper? Well, that's what those guys are... And when they take you away they don't bring you to Heaven or Hell… Oh no, Chucky. They eat your soul," Beetlejuice spoke in a hushed tone to get the mood right. "They stalk the dying and sick. They like them weak, yet ripe and if your soul is eaten then there is nothing. And from what I hear, that nothingness is a relief because they savor souls... Suck out everything and replace it with pain."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles was silent, the hairs on the back of his neck were standing. "How do you keep them away?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't," Beetlejuice replied, leaning against the next. "If you die quickly then they can't get you, your soul's scent doesn't get to them until you've already passed. But Lyd's... Well, let's be honest. Lydia is a regular ghost magnet as it is... They'll come for her. Though it's not like I care..." He said with a shrug as he examined his dirt and grime encrusted fingernails. "I mean, if she were my fiancé then I'd be willing to offer protection or something..." He said, hoping Charles would take the bait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles sat in thought for what felt like an eternity, but it was only but a few seconds before the living man began to laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're lying! Trickster, that's what you are, you said it yourself!” Charles laughed while shaking his head. “Damn and you really had me going Beetlejuice! ..." Charles' face paled at the realization of what he had done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And how the ghoul smiled at Charles's mortified face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Heh, I can't pull one over your eyes, can I?" He asked with a smile. "But hey! One more slip up and maybe I can pull something on your daughter," He said with a crooked grin. "But like I said. Hot nurse, new tits, crazy guy. Got a booked schedule at the moment, but we should do this again sometime… Call me if you need me!" And then he was gone. Leaving Charles to his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His self corrupting thoughts.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Visitor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lydia's eyes fluttered open from her short-lived slumber and she gazed around her room. Three weeks had passed since she was given news of her pending death and though she had welcomed it with open arms, she was becoming troubled. She saw things. Things that just didn't belong. She was aware that imaginary visions were a symptom of CJD, but given her past, Lydia didn't want to rule out her sanity. Not yet anyway.</p><p>Her eyes landed in the direction of her bedroom window. If the sun was out the thick black drapes would have blocked out nearly all the light there was to offer, making it hard to tell what time it could be. But of course, that's what clocks were for. And it would be sometime before she saw daylight as she read the digital numbers. 02:04 AM.</p><p>"I can't even enjoy sleeping in..." She mumbled under her breath. Lydia began to notice a pattern. It seemed that with each passing day she required less sleep. It was as though her body was trying to prove that it could hold out for years to come. Or maybe that it knew there was a long slumber ahead.</p><p>She sat up and flipped the covers off of her, exposing a T-Shirt of The Cure and old worn out gray pajama pants. She slowly lowered herself off the bed and made her way down the hall to the bathroom. After relieving herself, she then made her way to the kitchen to grab herself a glass of water. In the weeks to come, she knew independence would not only be a luxury but a thing of the past, so she intended to do as much for herself before that day came when she could no longer provide for herself.</p><p>Making her way out onto the porch, Lydia took in the cool morning summer air and slowly eased herself down into one of the chairs Delia had made. The back of the chair was that of the design of a coffin. Delia would never admit to it, but their time with the dead truly inspired all of her work today. Maybe she just didn't want to share her success, though how could you share credit with the dead. They had no use for the money, nor of fame.</p><p>Closing her eyes Lydia began to ponder as to what would come for her. She remembered seeing her great aunt Sue before she passed. Her mind was taken by dementia, Lydia feared that her fate would be similar. To have no idea what was going on one minute, and to be lost in fond distant memories the next. To be fully there, yet not there at all. She was disgusted with the nurses' comments on how 'cute' her dying aunt was.</p><p><em> "What's cute about dying? " </em>She asked, which earned her a room full of glares. She hoped she wasn't labeled as cute in her final days. She didn’t even like being associated with the word today.</p><p>She has pulled away from the memory when something in the distance caught her eye. About a hundred feet from where she sat stood a scarecrow, or what Lydia assumed to be a scarecrow. Lydia had to admit, it was Delia's best work yet... And one of her tallest too. Though it was far away from the house, she could tell it was taller than her father who was six feet even. The clothes that hung to the lawn ornament made it look as though the figure belonged to the dark abyss, black rags swaying with the breeze with grace yet with violence. Lydia set her glass down and rose to her feet, intending on inspecting the latest art piece from her stepmother when something hit her.</p><p>Fear.</p><p>The sensation came from nowhere. The fight or flight instinct began to swell inside of her now and it took everything in her to not throw up now. She hadn't felt this scared since... Since HE first came into her life. In the form of a snake. She couldn't even look at a snake now without thinking of him.</p><p>She remained still, her eyes in search of what may have triggered her sudden panic attack, but nothing of imminent danger was in sight, which made her believe her days of being able to function properly in society were coming to an end. When she calmed down to an ' I'm just paranoid' state she turned to go back inside.</p><p>"Come to me Lydia-" A whisper came, which caused Lydia to spin right back around to meet the voice but only saw the lone scarecrow and the untrimmed grass it stood in.</p><p>"Great... I better get back in bed before I actually see something," Lydia whispered to herself as she turned to return inside but was met with a pair of scarlet red eyes.</p><p>Stumbling back, Lydia fell down upon the porch with a hard thud and began to crabwalk back as she tried to escape those eyes, but now she could see the figure was what she mistook for being a scarecrow, and he was a great deal taller than her father. The creature came closer to her, it reeked of sulfur, her stomach churning at the heavy musk.</p><p>"You will be mine..." the voice hissed, and by the sound of the voice alone, Lydia was nearly grateful that she could not see it's mouth. The being was nearly upon her when the porch lights came on. Not even the pearly gates of heaven could match the beauty of those fluorescent light bulbs at this very moment, nor could God’s voice match her father's- which his ego would surely agree too.</p><p>"Lydia? Honey, what are you doing out here? It's nearly three in the morning," Charles Deetz grumbled, still half asleep.</p><p>In no time at all, Lydia was clinging to him. Her fear diminished but the panic remained. "Did you see it?" She asked, her voice shaking nearly as much as she was. Her father could only look upon his daughter with an expression of confusion mixed with lethargy.</p><p>"See what? Honey, I just heard a thump and found you out here on the porch. You really ought to be more careful pumpkin." His words seemed to calm Lydia’s hold, but there was still a look of terror in her </p><p>"Sorry dad," whispered the teen, her eyes darting out to the yard, in search of life. Or death. Anything that could move but nothing was on her radar. "I guess I- Nevermind. I should just try to go back to sleep..." And as quickly as she clung to him, she released him and headed back inside. Charles was about to follow her in when a previous conversation with one ghost who shall not be named came into mind.</p><p>"Honey!" He called after her, which caused Lydia to stop in the doorway. "What did you see exactly?" He asked, trying not to hint out a worried tone. Either he was getting better at hiding things or Lydia was too shaken up to comment on his tone.</p><p>"A scarecrow... Or something like it. Red eyes, kind of like cat eyes... Silly huh?" She asked with a fake laugh. She was just as bad at hiding her emotions as he was. "Guess I should watch more Disney movies and not those old scary films, huh?" She asked with a smile. "Anyway, goodnight dad," she said as she went back inside.</p><p>"Night, sweetie," Charles whispered back as he picked up the glass of water Lydia abandoned. His eyes going out to the field, almost expecting to find a scarecrow or even the creature from the black lagoon. But nothing.</p><p>"I wonder if Beetle-" He stopped himself. One more time and he'd be out. If he called out that name one more time, Charles shuddered to think what would come. He needed a way curse his name without actually saying the SOB’s name… Like a nickname.</p><p>"BJ," Charles said suddenly with a grin. That's what he could say, guilt-free. "I wonder if BJ is behind this..." He whispered as he too turned in for the remainder of the night.</p><hr/><p>"Alright, where are you, you low life pest?" Charles Deetz shouted as he searched his den, turning it nearly inside out in search of the ghost that had haunted him for nearly a month now. He didn't have to fear an interrogation from his wife or daughter on why he was acting like a lunatic. Delia wanted to take Lydia shopping, and being that the closest shopping mall was nearly an hour away and that Delia was a certified shopaholic according to their credit card bills, Charles knew he had time. </p><p>"Hey! Who are YOU calling a pest? It's eight in the fucking morning!" Came the ghoul's voice from the back of a preserved blue jay on the other side of the room which Charles plucked Beetlejuice from and shook him violently.</p><p>"Listen here! I don't care how bad you want Lydia, or to get back here, or whatever the hell it is you want! You had no right scaring Lydia the way you did, I've never seen her so pale, and that's saying something!" Charles growled before shaking his head rather than Beetlejuice's entire body. "And to play it as a scarecrow... Really? I mean you were rather terrifying as a snake... But maybe turning your eyes red did it for her-"</p><p>"Whoa hey there now!" Beetlejuice shouted as he tried to wriggle free from the man's grasp. "First off, you are doing this handjob all wrong, and B. If I wanted to portray anyone from the Wizard of Oz, I think I'd be that tin guy. He doesn't have a heart, wacks his wood all day, and even gets that farmer's daughter to oil up his stiff joints," the dead man said with a wink as Charles set him down on the desk. "Besides, I don't have red eyes." Charles scoffed at that comment.</p><p>"Oh please! You've changed into crazier things. I doubt that changing your eye color is much of a task." Now it was Beetlejuice's turn to scoff.</p><p>"Actually Chucky, it's not a simple task.. It's imposi-fucking-ble. I can change my form alright, but not eye color. It's not an option." He said as he turned himself into a rat which made Charles jump out of disgust rather than fear.</p><p>"See! Same green eyes!" Spat the rat pointing to his eyes then turned to his all to well-known snake, just smaller, then back to his human form. "So let me school you on ghosts once again. Each of the elite classes of ghoul has a specific eye color. And if you are sure that she saw red eyes, then you have a Soul Sucker on your hands," Beetlejuice said as he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked over to the half-empty mug of tea that Charles had on his desk. “Pretty early in the game too but like I said, your daughter is a real catch.”</p><p>Charles blinked recalling their last conversation.</p><p>"How long does she have, hypothetically speaking is I did believe you?” Charles started as he sat in his chair and leaned in to get on the same eye level as the dead man who was now attempting to climb into the still-warm teacup. “She saw it last night BJ, how long does she have till-"</p><p>"What the fuck did you call me?" The ghost shouted from the lip of the cup and jumped back down to the desk to march up to the man’s nose. "BJ? Did you call me BJ?" The ghost was in blind fury now. "You gave me a nickname? What am I, some high school chum of yours now?" Charles couldn't help but smirk.</p><p>"Well what? I have to call you something? Can't say your name again." And now Beetlejuice howled with anger.</p><p>"That's cheating! You can't- oh whatever 'Charles'" He spat and sat down cross-legged and arms folded. The two fell silent, Beetlejuice from anger that a water bag like Deetz outwitted him, and Charles was silently waiting for the ghost to calm down.</p><p>"I'd give about three months." Beetlejuice finally spoke. "Five months tops. It shouldn't come back too soon, but in time it's visits will be more frequent. And hopefully for Lyd's she'll only have one stalking her." This news troubled Charles to no end.</p><p>"You mean, there could be more?" He asked, thinking how scared his daughter was with just one of these things.. But to have two? Three even? "How many could she possibly get?" Beetlejuice sighed leaning back, his eyes looking to the ceiling.</p><p>"Depends on how... Good, she smells,” Beetlejuice grumbled as he slicked back his hair still winding down. “Each soul has a particular scent to these guys. And I can honestly say, it's been a while since I've heard about a dame or anyone for that matter who can see ghosts. Not just see a light or hear something but actually <b>SEE</b> them."</p><p>"What does that have to do with anything?" Charles asked sitting up straight. </p><p>"Because it means her soul is stronger, more potent,” Beetlejuice said, sending a glare his way. He no longer wondered why Lydia wanted to get into his world. Being raised by a moron like this must have made the rest of the world seem pretty pathetic. “Even if the guys don't like her scent they'll come for the power of it. Really there is no saving her now unless she lives." He said getting back to his feet. "And you and I both know that there is no other choice here but me sooooo whenever you are ready Chuck."</p><p>Charles bit his tongue now. He wasn't lying about the eyes, at least as far as he knew, and Beetlejuice did seem to have a valid point on his daughters... Condition. She had always been different. Marched to the beat of her own drum, saw the world in a different light. She was special, he thought she'd grow out of it. Not into it. But he also thought he'd die before her. He thought a lot of things, but never about this.</p><p>"I don't suppose you would settle for just... Dating my daughter?" Charles asked which raised Beetlejuice's attention. He was considering him now? The dead man smiled.</p><p>"No I consider myself old fashioned and just marrying a broad, but really like there is time to date?" He said, shaking his head. "No, if I am to keep your kid safe from those things, she'd have to be connected to me, and me to her so I can't be dragged back to my realm."</p><p>"Whatever happened to 'the Ghost with the most' Shit? Hmm? Why can't you keep them away from her? Keep them at bay, or even fight them off?" Charles shouted enraged. "You survived that giant snake thing-"</p><p>"THESE THINGS AREN'T SANDWORMS!" Beetlejuice snapped suddenly. While only being the size of a fountain pen, the ghost still got Charles to leap back further into his chair. "These things escaped the death of the dead, meaning they can't be killed, so I don't think they have fears... The only reason why they aren't dragged back to their prison is because they eat living souls to remain strong enough to manage without being sucked back in,” the ghost explained watching Charles. "Truth is, I'm just as vulnerable to those things as she is but the difference is they stay away from the dead most of the time. They have been known to eat souls that haven't passed onto the next life. It's rare, but it happens."</p><p>Charles thought he heard defeat in Beetlejuice's voice. No, surely it was a trick of some sort. That's all he was. Tricks. But why did he look so convincing?</p><p>"Look Chuck,”f you want your daughter to live, then you know how to contact me. Just one more time and your scarecrow days will be over, but if those things are showing up then I can't stick around too much. Lydia has a shell to hide in. I don't." He said with a stern tone. “Call me, don't call me, whatever, but I think you should tell your kid as too what she is up against. Sure I'll admit, maybe I'm not the greatest husband material out there, but I'm pretty sure marrying me can't be as painful as having your soul devoured." Then he shrugged. "Then again, what the hell do I know? I've been dead for nearly an eternity," he said with a smirk. "Give the family my regards. If I don't hear from you, then I'll see you at the funeral." And like that the ghost was gone.</p><p>Charles ran a hand over his face. This wasn't doing anything good for his anxiety. He was so tempted to call out his name. Just one more time. But how could he believe Beetlejuice? Then again what did he have to lose? Either way, he'd lose his only child, and if he was going to he'd rather lose her to a pervert than to be consumed by some sort of monster.</p><p>Groaning Charles sat back down into his seat and buried his face into his hands, leaving them there until he heard the grandfather clock chime in a new hour. He rose to his feet and was about to head to his room until he stopped looking at the bookcase. His eyes focused on a book that he nearly forgot about entirely.</p><p>The Living and the Dead.</p><p>Surely there was something else that could help him out. If not at the very least confirm or deny if Beetlejuice was telling the truth. And though it was a hard to follow book, he knew of someone who could actually follow the book better than he could. Unfortunately for him, Otho hadn't so much as called Delia since the last incident with Beetlejuice, let alone stepped foot in their home.</p><p>Maybe it was time that they took a vacation. A trip back to the city. It wouldn't cause too much suspicion, other than the fact that he hated the city, but Delia would be so thrilled about the notion of going home that she wouldn't even question it. No, it was Lydia he would have to convince. She wasn't easy to fool. She read him as easily as she read her books on the afterlife. Would she simply believe that he wanted one last family outing? It didn't matter if he convinced her or not. So long as he could hide the actual reason was good enough for him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Coffee Tables and Bathroom Mirrors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING!!!!</p><p>A suicide attempt is made in this chapter but not fulfilled. If you feel yourself to be in danger please reach out to someone-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The anxiety hit him like a brick wall the moment he stepped out of Grand Central. The smog, the people, all the blasted noise. Oh what he would do to just hear the silence of wind right now along with a song from a cardinal. His eyes looked to Lydia, remembering his place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She seemed just as displeased as he was about being here. Then again nothing seemed to please her since the Maitlands departed from their life. He had years to relax, Lydia only had months to live. He currently had a chance to save her future, her life and hell, maybe even her soul. Charles Deetz was never one to turn down an opportunity to invest, and his daughter, his only child, was the best damn investment he could make.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arriving at the hotel, Delia sounded like she was on the verge of an orgasm, which was more of a turn off to Charles knowing that the sound of gratification was more about the luxury aspect than the thought of spending time together. Her pleasure had nothing to do with him. He might get something in return from Delia later, but once again this wasn't about him, nor was this trip about pleasing Delia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright girls, I have to go to the office to clear up something. But the rest of the week should be all ours. So Lydia why don't you think of what you want to do?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think we should go shopping! How does that sound, Lydia?" Delia's voice rang with joy as she made her way into the kitchen. "Ugh, I swear, these places are getting cheaper and cheaper! Charles, there isn't even a mini bar! We'll need to get some wine when we go out," his wife said before she looked to the clock above the stove. "Then again... it's only eleven, we have hours. Charles, you don't mind if I take Lydia shopping, on the way back we can pick up some groceries," Delia said leaning over the breakfast bar that separated the kitchenette from the living area. Lydia gave a groan as she threw herself into an orange sofa chair on the far side of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't recall my dying wish to be the best dressed corpse on the east coast..." She muttered before she felt her father kiss her forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just try to have fun pumpkin. The rest of the week is yours, promise." He said with a smile, and Lydia nodded in defeat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hear they are doing a showing of Nosferatu at the Paris theater tonight," Lydia said with a half-assed smile before she narrowed her gaze and sat up slightly. "What is this meeting about again?" She questioned, which made Charles break out in a sweat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh shoot would you look at the time, I nearly forgot about it! I better get down there before I'm late!" He said before he kissed her forehead again, and waved to his wife. "I'll see you, ladies, later!" He called before he left their hotel room, nearly slumping against the door. He had gotten so caught up in it all he didn't even have an excuse to give Lydia! And that was the hardest part, yet such a simple task. He sighed, shaking his head before heading off to meet Otho.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Charles had to admit that finding Otho was harder than he imagined it would. Of course he usually found that man terrorizing his home and drinking all of his wine. Wasn't too hard to find him before. Otho was still doing well for himself, living in Manhattan wasn't cheap, Charles knew that factoid from experience. Both business and personal, but Charles was half convinced that the man would have lost it all after his ghost encounter. This wasn't the first time he was wrong though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knocking on his apartment door, it swung open to reveal the plump man he knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Otho," Charles said, walking in without waiting to be invited in. It was nice to be able to do that to the man for once, having to suffer the interior designer's unwelcomed company every time Valerian Rybar had something to say. The shock on Otho's face was even sweeter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Charles Deetz! My word- I thought you to be dead until a few years ago.. Delia seems to be doing very well..." He said before closing the door. "And how may I be of service to you today?" He asked as Charles silently revealed the handbook from his tan trench coat, making Otho stop in his tracks and raise his hands. "Not that stuff again, Charles! I'm through with the paranormal!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh no Otho, you owe me! You said it yourself, you thought we were as good as dead because you left us for the dead!" He shouted, slamming the book onto a coffee table in Otho's living room, a feeble gasp escaping from Otho who still stood in the apartment's entry point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That is a David Lloyd Thompson one of a kind coffee table! So if you are going to be a barbarian Charles I suggest you do it at Kmart," replied the large man before he waddled into the kitchen. "How did you even manage to rid yourselves of that ghost?" He asked, curious. So Charles told Otho everything. What happened after he ran out, wearing that powder blue three-piece suit that Otho swears he burned once he was over the county line. Charles briefed the man on the time his family spent with the Maitland's till they crossed to the next life and then skimmed over everything that had happened from that point to the diagnosis. Then came the news of the dreadful ghost making a comeback along with the new thing that may or may not be haunting Lydia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was an idiot- I called out his name twice already.. That's how he shows up you know. You say his name three times and he comes," Charles whispered eyeing the second mimosa Otho made for him. "He said though that if Lydia doesn't die suddenly or if she doesn't get married to him she'll suffer from this soul sapper or whatever. That it'll eat her." Otho scoffed at the final words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come now, Charles. You don't actually believe this do you? This character sounds more like a vampire than a ghost if you ask me,” Otho stated as he took a drink of his own mimosa. "I mean clearly this man knows how to pull one over your eyes..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Otho I mean it! You should have seen Lydia! Even BJ looked fearful," Charles exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"BJ?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's what I call him, to you know, not screw up one last time..." Charles said as he sat back in a very expensive and hardly comfortable chair. "Look Otho, you are the only one I know who actually knows how to make out what that book says. Maybe you can find a way to ward off that other ghost, and even BJ for that matter." Charles said with hope in his voice. Otho watched him for several moments before giving in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright Charles, I'll look at it... " He said before reaching across the coffee table and picking up the book. "Though you know, if things are really as bad as you say, killing Lydia may be for the best."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you crazy?! I can't kill my own daughter!" Charles shouted, but it didn't seem to affect Otho in any way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know you could always hire someone," Otho said with a shrug. "I am just saying though. I'd rather have my daughter dead then have that thing as my son in law."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't even have kids. How could you make a choice without knowing?" Charles asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I used to have a cat you know. It had a tumor, and the bill to get it removed compared to putting the thing down? Well Mittens lived a long life," Otho said before cracking the book open. Charles shook his head while he covered his face with his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not the same..." Charles groaned, questioning what the hell he was thinking of getting Otho into this mess. Remembering that he wasn’t left with much of a choice, he got to his feet. "I have to go. Just give me a call when you find something, if you get anything useful, I'll make it worth your while," Charles said, pulling out the hotel’s business card with the hotel room number written on the back and handed it to Otho, who took it gingerly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what could you possibly have to offer, Charles?" He asked, folding his arms. Charles had to admit, Ortho had him there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Other than getting paid for your time, I'm sure a new original piece of Delia's work would be a great centerpiece for your guests to gawk at." Charles said bluntly and Otho nodded in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, well Delia has become quite the rising star this season..." Otho mused before nodding his head. "Alright, Charles. You have yourself a deal. Don't let the door hit you on the way out," He called as he began to read  The Living and the Dead handbook.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>While Charles was with Otho, Delia dragged Lydia into nearly every store with a sign that claimed they had a sale. For a woman with expensive taste, she sure did seem to like getting deals. After hours of Delia trying on clothes and Lydia returning clothes to the racks, Delia called it was time for a break, and they stopped in an Italian restaurant. Bags of clothes and useless nicknacks surrounded them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delia smiled putting on her new sunglasses. "Isn't this great Lydia? I'm so glad your father decided to make a trip out of this," said the woman, smiling as she took a sip of her wine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What did dad need to do out here anyway?" She asked glancing over to Delia but she just laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, who knows? And by that who cares?" She exclaimed, setting her glass down and looked up in search of their waiter. "What is taking them so long?" She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who knows, and who cares." Lydia retorted which made Delia roll her eyes behind her sunglasses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be right back... Make sure no one even tries to grab our bags," ordered the stepmother before she excused herself from the table to find out what century they could expect lunch to come.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia smirked and shook her head as she glanced down at the table. Lydia almost wondered if Delia would be as impatient when it came to the funeral arrangements. Of course her father had banned any conversations around that subject like she still had a shot. A chill was sent into Lydia, making her turn her head towards the entrance of the restaurant when her brown eyes met a pair of red eyes. Fear shot through her instantly along with the urge to scream but only silence came from her paralyzed windpipes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The creature made a sound that sounded like a mixture of a growl and a laugh that sent shivers down her spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia- you smell delicious..." whispered the ghastly spirit as it floated around her, its tattered black form flowing with a terrible grace, like a lion stalking its prey. That's exactly what was going on. She was a zebra that could no longer blend in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you want?" Lydia asked, her voice shaking as the creature circled her. She closed her eyes, hoping that it was all in her head but then the sickening chuckle came to her ears again. "What the hell do you want from me?" She screamed now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia- your food is here, just take it from the man. Honestly what has gotten into you?" Came Delia's voice which made Lydia open her eyes. Delia was in her seat once again staring at her as though she had a second head. In fact, the entire place seemed to be staring at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need to go to the bathroom," Lydia said flustered before she fled the scene, ignoring the protest from Delia as she arrived in the bathroom, which thankfully was a single room, rather than stalls. Locking the door behind her she went to the sink and turned on the faucet to splash cold water onto her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your will scared it away you know," Came a familiar voice. Lydia didn't need to look up to know who it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go away," Lydia muttered bitterly which made Beetlejuice laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey now babes, that’s no fun. You know I like my girls alive and kicking," He said with a laugh. Lydia's gaze went to the mirror, but instead of meeting her own reflection she met Beetlejuice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Say something nice... To assure me this isn't a part of my imagination or something," Lydia said with her hands gripping onto the sides of the sink bowl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Something nice," Beetlejuice repeated with a grin as he inspected his fingernails, his frame leaning against the mirror’s frame. Lydia groaned and cut off the water. She wanted to scream. Death she could handle, and maybe she could even get used to the hallucinations at least until her sanity was out the door, but this was too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you here? I mean, God. I thought I'd be in some dream world state, not having a heart attack every other day," Lydia groaned and Beetlejuice gave a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do ya mean babes?" He asked, watching her. "I thought you wanted to join the dead? Cause you know, we are all just so in love with the... delectable taste of life," He said with a crooked grin which aroused Lydia's suspicions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So that thing I'm seeing... it's real. Isn't it?" She asked and he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"As real as it gets toots," Beetlejuice said with his bright green eyes. "And its intentions aren't too pleasant either.."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not looking for my hand, it’s after my soul..." She whispered knowingly. "And I can't stop it because no matter what I'm going to die." Beetlejuice didn't respond. Last time he offered help to her, she backed out once it came time to pay her debt without so much as a sorry. No, this time he'd make her beg for help. But to his surprise, she smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess I asked for it huh? So eager to get in, I didn't care how it happened. So long as I wasn't here." Lydia said looking at the light fixture above her, the plastic encasing a dozen dead flies. Her eyes told him she was throwing in the towel, that she wanted out, without a fight. "Might as well as go in early right?" She asked as she pulled out a razor blade from her messenger bag. Beetlejuice's eyes widened in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whoa, babes! You are going about this all wrong!" He shouted, pressing his entire body to the mirror as if he could get in with enough force. “Let’s just talk about some options, maybe upgrade your plans yeah?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember kids, it's down the street, not across the road..." Lydia sang as she pressed the razor to her pale wrist just as a pounding came to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia Deetz, you open this door right now!" Came the shrill voice of the woman who haunted her for more years then she cared to count.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dammit," Lydia hissed having dropped the razor blade down the sink drain. She slammed her fists on the sink and glared at the locked door. "I'll be right out!" She called in the calmest voice she could produce before her gaze returned to Beetlejuice. If she didn’t know any better, she would have said she nearly scared life into him. "Guess I'll just have to wait... huh?" She asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess so kid." He replied, still in a state of shock. She was really going to go through with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"When I die and you know... go to your world, could you give me a tour? Show me the ropes and stuff?" She asked, and Beetlejuice couldn't help but nod. That wasn’t the game plan but how could he argue with a girl with one foot off the ledge?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Lydia muttered as she began to pull herself together again. "I still have the ring you know..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" The ghost asked in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The wedding ring," She repeated. "I kept it. I don't know why though, it's really old and I probably could have bought a brand new camera and everything with it but I kept it..." Lydia said with a shrug as a pounding came at the door again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia! I can't wait forever, get out or I may just have to leave you here!" Delia threatened. Lydia knew Delia was bluffing, but if she did leave her here it might have been for the best for everyone. Lydia waited for Beetlejuice to respond but he was as silent as a grave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well.. I better get going.. I'll see you around I guess." whispered the dying girl to the dead man before she left the bathroom. Beetlejuice remained in the mirror for some time however. Thinking over the situation and the near-death experience he witnessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to say it, she was something else. She had a fight in her, zero fucks to give, smart, and not too hard on the eyes. Oh fuck it, she was hot by his standards, but anyone who had a working pair of eyes could also see that she worth a tug at least. It was a crying shame that she was on the dinner menu too. Would she be able to survive her death, or would her soul be gobbled up before she reached the Netherworld?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait, why was he thinking of this? He had to get her to be his bride still. If he told her the truth of it all would she accept life, or just try to kill herself again? He couldn't say for sure. What he could say was that he had it in for this girl. Living or not, he wanted her. Bad. But then again maybe that scratch he couldn’t itch was telling him that, or it could be the boredom…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nope. It was all her at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was getting anxious just thinking about her. It had been a while since a broad could do that to him. Not since he was alive at least. If he had to choose between having her in bed or getting to the realm of the living... it'd be a really tough call. But to have both? He grinned at the thought. He wasn’t much of a heaven guy, but it would be one hell of a time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left once an elderly woman inched her way into the bathroom, he considered giving her a heart attack, but he had bigger fish to fry. A fish by the name of Charles Deetz. He only needed Charles to say his name one more time and he'd be out. He'd get Charles to say his name one more time. Somehow.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Read Me Like a Book</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Deetz family emerged from the Paris Theater around 6 PM the next night. While Lydia was the one to suggest seeing a horror film the day they arrived in Manhattan when she and Delia returned from their day out Lydia claimed she was no longer interested in seeing the movie. Charles urged a family outing to see what was showing this evening and to his displeasure the picture of the night was a story about death and the afterlife. A French film called Orphée, It was a sad yet beautiful film about a poet who fell in love with death and she fell for him, yet they were still bound to their separate worlds. Lydia would admit that the film would not have been her first choice, but it had a rather profound effect on her.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The same could not be said for the company she kept on the trip. Lydia wasn’t sure what her father was going to lose first, a tooth from the way he grinded his teeth, or his foot from tapping it so much. Delia meanwhile had fallen asleep before the plot could get a chance. This was the least of her concerns, however. Beetlejuice was back, as well as this new ghost that apparently wanted to eat her. She wouldn't dare tell her father or Delia, they would stop everything and begin to baby her most likely. After all she was due to be losing her mind soon enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles noticed Lydia's silence. Granted she was rarely the outspoken one of the three of them but she didn't make so much as a taunt at Delia for not appreciating art.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So did you enjoy the movie, sweetheart?" He asked his daughter as he hailed for a cab. Lydia glanced at her father and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yea, it was great," Lydia replied, wanting to keep it short knowing that the two wouldn’t be able to contribute to the conversation but she couldn’t help but think how the afterlife was portrayed in the film. It was so… mundane. Was that what Beetlejuice saw in his realm? A bland existence that never ceased nor brightened up? “I wonder if that was an accurate depiction of the Neitherworld…” She mused out loud. “Adam and Barbara said it was pretty awful but all they ever saw was the inside of a waiting room really,” Lydia said, not catching the look of concern on her father’s face when a cab pulled up. On the roof of the car an advertisement for Beauty and the Beast on broadway was advertised which made Delia let out a gasp worrying both of the born Deetz family members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's what we should see! It just opened up a week ago and I know I can get us some tickets to the show,” Delia began before looking at her stepdaughter. “Oh can we please Lydia?!" Begged the woman. After all, this was 'her' week. And as much as Lydia would have loved to turn down a Disney based show, she knew she only had a few months left with her father and Delia. Might as well be a little bit nicer. Not like that would kill her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure, I guess." She said climbing into the car to escape the sight of Delia’s smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fantastic!" Delia exclaimed, getting in after her. "Once we get back to the hotel I will make the arrangements, I think my old college roommate is still doing sets for broadway! Oh we should go out to eat before the show, there is this place on-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not let Lydia choose where we eat?" Charles suggested as he closed the door from inside the taxi. He knew that if you let Delia choose one thing, she could end up monopolizing the entire plan. "How about it, honey, any ideas?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia frowned looking out the window searching, not for a place to eat, but to see if any ghosts were to follow. "I hear they have some new movie props in Planet Hollywood," she said looking back to her father who smiled back at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was always smiling at her now. Sometimes she just wanted him to stop. What was there for him to smile for? He hated the city, she was dying, and he even had to go off to another business meeting tomorrow night. Sure they would send him away once he ‘lost his nerves’, but when it came to family affairs his business didn't hold an ounce of sympathy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Taxi, to Dream Downtown Hotel please," Charles ordered before offering another smile to Lydia and the cab pulled out into traffic.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Once back in the hotel room, Lydia sauntered off into her room, shutting the door behind her. She hoped to get a few moments of silence, but there was no luck with that. Even the best hotels in the city could not ward off the sounds of traffic. Making her way to the bed she flung herself onto the unmade bed nestling her head on the soft downy pillow. Just as she was near the point of sleep she heard a knock on the door before her father came in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles didn't seem to take pleasure in waking her, but he didn't apologize for it either. He made his way over to the bedside and brought out a small ring box from behind his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know you aren't very fond of gifts... But I picked this up for you yesterday after I had my meeting." He said handing the box to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia eyed him with suspicion but accepted the box, if only out of curiosity. The last time he gifted her without occasion was when Barbra and Adam left. He had given her an entire new camera set, though she didn't use it until nearly three months later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Opening it she found an Evil Eye Necklace. The eye was an ice blue, with clear stones encircling around it. She wasn't sure if they were actual diamonds, but she never cared for that sort of stuff anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is so cool!" She exclaimed, taking it out to put it on. "Where did you get it?" She asked, unclasping the hook and immediately placed it around her neck. Charles beamed with pride, having successfully delivered something Lydia actually seemed to like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A little antique shop had it in the window. The shop owner said that the necklace is supposed to ward off evil spirits, so you’ll have to let me know if it works or not," teased the father though truth be told that was the only reason he bought the damn thing. Getting Lydia nodded with thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks, dad.." She said with her less than miserable smile before she turned her attention to the window. "I wonder if it actually does ward away evil spirits," Lydia whispered partly to herself, but Charles caught the pondering words and held back a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well if it doesn't I think I will have to return it," Charles stated, hoping that at the very least it would make her feel safe. "Anyway, I'm going to get some sleep, and I suggest you do the same young lady," Charles suggested to which Lydia replied with a simple nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Night dad," she said as he left the room and closed the door behind him, though sleep was a luxury now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First this man-eating ghost then the return of Beetlejuice. She shook her head and moved off the bed and to the window peering out into the streets of New York. Twelve stories up, if someone survived that leap, it would be a miracle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't think about it babe," muttered the voice of the man she was supposed to have married years ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't even have to think about it now. It's almost instinct at this point," Lydia replied, not even bothering to search for him. Her eyes too focused to finding the latches for the window</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice gave a sigh as he folded his arms, resting against the inside of the mirror. His gaze on her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that so?" He asked as he unfolded his arms now and shoved them into his pockets. "... Why is that I wonder? Is the boogie man too scary for you to deal with," taunted the man who could have easily passed for the previously mentioned role. "And to think I was interested in a dame like you. Guess you aren't all that special huh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nope, just your average strange and unusual girl who can see dead people," Lydia retorted, glaring over her shoulder. "So please, if you no longer have an interest, get out of my life." The fiery statement made the dead man grin from ear to ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah! There is that spice I like! So there is life left in you after all," Beetlejuice beamed from the mirror. "So how about you just say my name a few times, we start right back where we left off and-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, you are still on that?" She asked, cutting him off as she turned to face him. "I wouldn't marry you if you were the last thing on this planet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ouch, that is pretty harsh babe I just thought that-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whatever you thought, you were wrong. Okay? I thought I would get to spend the rest of my life with Adam and Barbra, but I guess someone decided to cut their wait time short because they 'completed their life goals'. I thought I would have the guts to throw myself over a ledge to be with them, but I don't. Or maybe I would live long enough to see if time heals all wounds. I thought I would never see you again-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you did. I get it toots, no need to kill the messenger..." the man muttered. He really hoped she would have cracked like the way her old man did, but the dame had some will power on her. "But listen kid, you should know something," Beetlejuice started as he rubbed the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh please teach me a lesson professor," Lydia taunted as she made her way back to her bed. Throwing herself onto it then pulled a pillow close to her chest as she kept her eyes on the spinning ceiling fan. The comment caught Beetlejuice off guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah... Well if you want to play the naughty schoolgirl role, I guess I can oblige to that.." He teased, but clearly Lydia was not amused and he cleared his throat. "Right well you see kid, that thing you saw earlier... it ain't like gonna take you to see me or the Maitland's, er, my condolences on the loss by the way," Beetlejuice said watching her sit up to listen to him now. "Kid if you don't get something together, you won’t have anything to look forward to, no afterlife whatsoever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia blinked watching him. She nearly believed the concern was real before she cracked up laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh come on Beej, you don't expect me to believe a crock of crap like that do you?!" She asked before shaking her head. "I used to be gullible, but really?!" Beetlejuice growled at the nickname.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First your old man, now you?" He asked in a low angry whisper before Lydia jumped off the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What did you say?" She asked making her way to the mirror now, the fury in her eyes made him want to retreat from the mirror but he was frozen at the moment. "Have you been talking to my father?" the young woman asked, enraged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice quickly gathered his thoughts. Let the cat out of the bag now and maybe gain her trust, or make up a lie and get at Charles later. Choices, choices, choices. He gave the best grin he could produce for his once was (and could still be) bride to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh.. Daddy didn't tell you? Since he first called my name a few weeks ago I've been hanging around... I thought you knew," He lied casually. Well, lying for him was casual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia was turning a light shade of pink now. She turned away from the mirror now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh that is just like him! To keep everything away from me! Why am I not surprised?!" Lydia hissed with her fists clenched at her sides as she spun on her heel to face the door. She had half the mind to confront him on the issue now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So I guess you don't know your choices then, do you?" he asked as she watched the door. When no reply came from her pale lips he continued. "Well you could always off yourself... though I don't recommend it. You will be a slave to the system for the first 200 years, then you might be able to move around as you please. You can let that thing get you, which I don't recommend either, or you can see if your father has come up with any brilliant plans with Otho." This spiked Lydia's attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Otho? Or for the love of Poe, please tell me this is a joke!" Lydia shouted, which caused Beetlejuice to chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I gotta admit, it is a knee slapper," he then proceeded to slap his own knee. "But yup.. That is the deal... or-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Or I could marry you, right?" she asked, clearly unamused by the notion. "Yeah, I think I would rather take my chances with ol' red eyes, thanks." Beetlejuice frowned at the response.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't realize how deep you are, do you?" He asked leaning forward. "Babe, I mean it. That thing you saw before doesn't want to take you to our realm, or to heaven or hell. Doesn't want to keep you around as a pet. It wants to eat you. And I don't mean your body either, as enticing as it is..." He said licking his own lips but snapped back to his point. "No! No.. It will come as your weakest moment to devour your soul.. and right now you are lucky there is only one hanging around!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia watched him, searching for any signs of trickery or such, but his expression held nothing but a serious, and almost sympathetic glaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why does it want to eat my soul? I thought that souls didn't have to eat or anything-" She cut herself off once she saw him shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not these guys, no they HAVE to eat souls, otherwise they will end up back in that room... Remember right before our wedding? How your buddies were 'dying' again? Well if it wasn't for me they might have ended up there, and who knows... Maybe Barbra would be looking to you as a snack instead of as a friend," Beetlejuice said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're lying." Lydia started. "And even if this was real, then why couldn't you just make them normal, like you did with Adam and Barbra?" she asked with contempt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because they are way past the point of fixing, kid. How can I explain it in terms you’ll understand..." He pondered out loud before he clapped his hands together. "It's like having an abortion! If you get at them before they are fully exorcised then you have no worries, but if you let it go though than you can have those things running around sucking the soul out of you!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kids or these things?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhh both?!" Beetlejuice said staring at her. "Listen, point is, it can't be undone. It can't!" He said, throwing his hands behind his head. Lydia sighed heavily laying back down thinking everything he told her over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Great.. So my choices are suicide and never see Barbra and Adam again, getting eaten by that thing, putting my soul in the hands of the most incompetent human being to ever walk the earth... or marry you." She said, glancing back over to him. ".. Or there is the slim possibility that I might die of natural causes.. right?" Beetlejuice responded with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I suppose anything is possible, I mean come on, you are talking to a dead guy," the ghost said with a snort before looking to his feet. "But the longer you live in this state the more will come."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You mean not only do I have to deal with you, but I might get MORE of those things following me around, asking me to keel over?!" She groaned before falling back onto the bed."And I thought dealing with valley girls was bad..." She whispered, closing her eyes. "So really, my choices are marrying you, or suicide." She muttered keeping her eyes closed. "... Can we get a divorce?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nope. Even if I wanted to, we have to stick together forever babe."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Live with each other? I mean you could do whatever, and whoever you want-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wham, wrong again!" Beetlejuice intervened. "The laws are much more strict with a dead to living marriage. If either of us commit adultery we both get sent to Saturn to deal with the sandworms."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Harsh.. but could we still just.. not be around each other?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Babe. If they found anything to show we weren't an actual couple, we would have the pleasure of spending our honeymoon with the sandworms," He said while holding up his hands in defense. "Trust me, I don't like it either, but those are the rules."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For being a stickler for rules, you sure seem to cause a lot of trouble," She muttered softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I only break the ones I can get away with," He replied, pacing within the mirror, every now and again he walked out of sight before appearing again. "So what's gonna be babe?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I'll try to jump off the Empire State Building tomorrow."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Trust me kid, you really don't want to end up down here. I'd be doing you a favor." Lydia rolled her eyes but stopped looking him over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You didn't kill yourself... did you?" She asked sitting up. Beetlejuice scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who said I didn't?" He asked, folding his arms. "Sorry I wasn't too proud to off myself, like someone I know." Lydia smiled at the jab.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I figured you didn't. You don't seem so miserable," Lydia started as she got up from the bed and moved to the mirror inspecting him closely. "No- looks more like someone killed you," she whispered inspecting the mold and bruises that plagued his skin. "You have been around for a long time," she continued as she concentrated on his eyes. Beetlejuice was in shock. The girl was reading him like a book. How could she do that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I read that handbook. However you die is the form you stay in... But I can't tell how you died.. " Her hand lifted up to trace around the bags of his eyes, never touching him but tracing over the lines through the mirror. "You were exhausted, that's for sure,” whispered the woman. Taking her hand back Lydia shrugged. "Yeah, Maybe jumping off a building isn't a good idea. Rather not be a pancake for eternity." She said with a smile as she turned back to go to bed. "I don't know- What do you think Beej?" She asked turning to face him again, but she met her own reflection instead. She almost considered calling his name once, but she felt her body call for sleep. He would be back, eventually.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Back to the Neitherworld Beetlejuice ran off to. Cursing to himself as he walked the sidewalks of the dead-end town.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Little brat! Thinks she knows everything," he hissed kicking an empty beer can. He had been around several dozen lifetimes and couldn't figure her story out, yet she read him like an open book in no time at all. "How does she do that!?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just let it go Beetle," Juno's voice warned, causing the man to spin around in a panic but he was quickly at ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Juno. Did you miss me?!" He asked advancing towards her, hands deep in his pockets. "Cause you know I sure did miss you, oh yea, thought about you every other second in that cell," the man said with a wicked grin looking her over. Classic Juno. Short hair, business attire, and cigarette in hand which he took from her, taking a drag for himself as he propped himself against the brick building wall. “Wondered all the things I could cram into that throat pocket of yours,” he said referring to her slit throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I heard Beetle. But I am not here on my account but from the board of Living and the Dead Committee. You stay away from that girl, do you understand?" She asked pointing at him, her finger nearly touching his nose. He sighed heavily pushing her hand away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I heard ya loud and clear, but what if she wants me to help her out. Hmm? What about that?" Juno couldn't help but laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like anyone would ever want your help." She scoffed, as Beetlejuice took another drag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did once," He retorted, which stirred something in the little old bat's heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That was different. YOU were different, but you changed, and so have the times," Juno scolded, taking her cigarette back. "You can't keep going back and forth whenever you want, Beetle."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"BUT I DON'T WANT TO!" He burst out in frustration, a weak chuckle following after. "I just, I just want to get back there… Where the people are," he said and frowned feeling that damn mermaid song about to get stuck in his head again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why?” Juno asked with indignance. “Think our rules are too strict? Are you looking for revenge? You are the only ghost I know that has no real reason to get back to life, yet you seem to be the only one who tries."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe I'm the only ghost who knows how too," the man said rolling his head to the side to meet her gaze. Juno sighed heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm warning you Beetle, nothing crazy. I hear they are considering Saturn just because of behavior." Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and pushed off from the wall, putting some distance between himself and his former associate turned to pain in the ass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well then, I better get hitched then huh?" He asked, throwing a hand up to wave. "I'll see you at the after-party, don't get cheap on me with the wedding gift!" He called back as he continued down the sidewalk. Juno watched before dropping her cigarette, stepping out the smoldering flame.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He is going to be the second death of me," Juno muttered before she herself vanished in a puff of smoke.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Beauty and the Beetle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Juno sighed heavily as she leaned back in her office chair. Sometimes it didn't matter that she was dead and had all the time in the world, it would never be enough time to sort out the cases she had. And having to chase after Beetlejuice didn’t make things better.</p><p>Her eyes moved over to a stack of files that had been dropped off on her little 'outing' 12 new deadbeats. Joy. She was just about to grab the first file when the door swung open to reveal a very plump man in a gray pinstripe suit with an atrocious orange tie. Aside from his size and dress attire the most noticeable thing about this man was the bullet hole passing through his temple. He grinned at her as though they were old friends. She hated his guts.</p><p>"Hello Walter..." She muttered grabbing the file, hoping he would leave seeing that she was busy, but that was never the case for him.</p><p>"Well hey there Juno, how are things?" He asked with his thick New York accent.</p><p>"Walter do you need something or do you just want to chat, can't you see I'm busy?!" She shouted, which was Walter's cue to close the door behind him and take a seat before her desk. Knowing he would be here for a while, Juno grabbed a pen and got to work while he spoke.</p><p>"Now I know you are a busy woman Juno, but this is serious! Why Beetle is really gonna mess things up around here. Why if he does make it back to the living side for good, he could disrupt a lot of stuff down here! Before you know it every ghost will be wanting to get hitched to a living person and that will be a lot of trouble for us!"</p><p>Walter worked in the Living and the Dead relations department. If a ghost was getting too unruly with the living to the point they were attracting attention, he would try to settle them down. Beetlejuice was his client for several decades now, though by Walter’s standards he would argue that Beetlejuice was the bain of his post existence. </p><p>"I mean it Juno! Oh what I would give to see him locked up again…” Walter muttered as he pulled out one of her law books from the rest of its siblings. “His sentence should have been longer, or better yet commuted to Saturn!" Juno sighed and threw her pen down.</p><p>"Well what do you want me to do about it? The man hardly listens to me!" She shouted. Oh how Walter smiled now, and he never grinned at her like that before. "...What?"</p><p>"Juno, Maybe just this once we can get help from the closet," He whispered. Juno was stunned.</p><p>"Walter, are you crazy?! Of all the no good ideas," she muttered, pulling out a cigarette though what she needed after hearing such a thought was a drink. "What on earth could you do to get one of them to help out?"</p><p>"One? Oh no Juno. I mean to enlist ALL of those wretched souls.. Make a contest of sorts. Whoever gets Beetle and that girl's souls they get a pardon and will be blocked from the closet for the rest of eternity," Walter said with a smile that was sure to dazzle a gal back in his hayday, but disgusted Juno now.</p><p>"Wait, what does the girl have to do with any of this? In all seriousness Walter, the girl has done nothing worth having her soul devoured over... And though Beetle is a handful at times,” a raised eyebrow from the former mobster made Juno shake her head. “Alright, a handful all of the time, but do you really think he is worth that?" She asked. "Letting a single one loose is a bad call, but letting them all out is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard," Juno said before taking a drag from her cigarette as Walter glared at her from the other side of the desk.</p><p>"And you think those two are worth all the trouble they will make if Beetle actually gets married?" He shouted back. "All we would need is a day. One day and they would both be gone!"</p><p>"Yes, one day and those two along with countless other souls will be in jeopardy," She hissed back. "Let them out, are you kidding me?!" She shouted standing up now. "Get out of here Walter. I mean it! Leave before I report you to your supervisor.” Juno’s threat only produced a grin from the man who was now pulling out a sheet of paper from inside of his jacket.</p><p>"I was promoted yesterday. You didn't hear?" He asked standing up as well. "Juno, you are now looking at the head of the Living and the Dead committee. I just addressed the issue to my fellow board members and it was agreed that this problem is worth the risk." He whispered leaning closer to her. "This time tomorrow, every single soul that has ever been exorcised will come flooding out of that room, and out into the world. If those two don't get hitched tomorrow, they are doomed." Walter whispered with a smile. "I know how… charming, Beetle can be. He doesn't have a chance. It really is a shame about the girl, but some sacrifices had to be made.”</p><p>"As long as that sacrifice isn't from you?" She asked coldly which he nodded to.</p><p>"Exactly." He murmured as he turned away and made his way for the door. "Sorry Juno, but this has to be stopped before it gets worse and I doubt there will be a more perfect opportunity,” called the mobster with a grin. "She was going to most likely be caught up by one of them anyway, and with Beetle going back and forth this is the perfect time to crush him like the worthless bug he is."</p><p>Juno watched him in silence before she closed her eyes, shaking her head. She clasped her hands together before eyeing him again</p><p>"Walter. I really hope you know what you are doing.." She whispered. He just laughed as he exited from her office. She glanced over to the window to watch him walk out of her department. "Because if you get this wrong, well… I’d hate to be you when Beetlejuice finds out." </p><p>“That’s a riot Juneo, like that poltergeist babbo could actually make me quake in my shoes,” Walter said with a laugh. “What will he do, turn into a snake, or a dog to bite me?” Walter asked before he walked out of the room and laughed all the way down the hall.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Back in New York City, The Deetz family was just waking up. Delia was already dressed for the day and on her second cup of coffee, Charles was just making himself some tea when Lydia stepped out of her room. Charles immediately beamed seeing his daughter.</p><p>"Good morning sweetheart! Did you sleep well last night?" He asked as Lydia made her way over to the counter, taking a seat on a stool.</p><p>"I got some sleep yeah... So what are the plans for the day?" She asked her father as he settled his tea.</p><p>"Well let me see.. Your mother was able to get us second row seats for Beauty and the Beast tonight, so we should get over there at 8:30, maybe earlier though, but I do have to meet with the office again at noon."</p><p>"So what is it that you have to get done again?" Lydia asked wishing her father would just spill the beans, but Charles was prepared for the simple questions.</p><p>"Oh it's nothing really, the office is just looking to buy some property so they wanted some old blood advice on it," he said as he raised his mug to his lips. "Shouldn't take too long. Maybe four hours at most." Lydia nodded before looking Delia's way.</p><p>"So Delia, did you want to see if Otho is still in town?" Lydia asked bluntly. The name lit up Delia's face and nearly made Charles drop his mug.</p><p>"Otho?! I haven't heard from him in ages! Well, maybe not ages but still. I wonder how he is doing..." She mused to herself. Charles had to make a recovery.</p><p>"Well how about we all go visit him tomorrow if he is still in the area, how does that sound Delia?"</p><p>Delia blinked looking between the two and stood up. "...Something is going on here.." She whispered. "You two never liked him..." Lydia cast a glance at her father.</p><p>"Yes, something is certainly going on here,” Lydia agreed, though she knew she and Delia were on two entirely different pages. Entire different libraries actually.</p><p>"Yes! Yes there is.. I- I wanted to surprise you Delia, I was going to invite him out to dinner with us tonight, but you know Lydia. She can't keep a secret," He said, giving a wink to his daughter. Delia laughed running over to Charles and kissing his cheek.</p><p>"Oh Charles, when did you become so thoughtful!?" She asked before looking to Lydia and smiled. "Too excited to keep the news to yourself?" She teased.</p><p>"Oh yea, thrilled." Her words caked with sarcasm. Her attention went back to her father who was just finishing up his tea. "Hey Dad, maybe I could go to your meeting too? I always liked the photos of the architect around here, it might be neat to see where some of the magic happens." She said with hope but Charles shook his head.</p><p>"Sorry sweetie, but you aren’t even dressed and I really must go now," Charles said kissing her cheek and hurried out the door before she could squeeze in another question or comment.</p><p>…..</p><p>"Otho open up!" Charles shouted as he pounded his clenched fist on his door. The anxiety was getting to him again, if the city wasn't getting at him, he would certainly have another attack when Lydia dies. If. If she dies, he told himself.</p><p>Just as his hand came to collide with the door again it swung open, Otho barely dodging the blow to the head.</p><p>"Charles, I told you. If you are going to be a barbarian, do it at Kmart," the paranormal enthusiast bemoaned as Charles squeezed by.</p><p>"She knows!" He exclaimed. "Lydia knows something is up. I don't know how, but she knows," Charles said, dropping himself into Otho's chair. "Please tell me you made some sense out of that book."</p><p>Otho closed the door and walked over to the kitchen with the grace of a circus bear.</p><p>"Charles, where can I begin?" He pondered out loud as he poured himself a cup of coffee, adding in a splash of Irish cream. "There is no doubt about the fact Lydia is going to reach an expiration date-"</p><p>"Otho, don't talk about her as if she is produce, I mean it." Charles growled, in which Otho only shrugged it off.</p><p>"I am just saying is all. However, it did mention a bit about the afterlife. Not much mind you, but enough," Otho said as he moved over to the living area. "It implied that most souls move onto 'the afterworld' where some remain in our world in circumstances concerning failed accomplishments, attachments to their life or sudden death. It also said that sometimes souls will be recruited to serve in the afterlife civil servant community, of course I already knew that." He said beaming with pride on that knowledge. "It did not say anything about ghosts eating souls though." Charles sighed, shaking his head.</p><p>"..So? What does that mean? Do you think Beetle-" He almost slipped up again. "Do you think HE was lying?"</p><p>"Oh I don't know the man Charles! I mean it is hard to judge the crazy ones..." He muttered before sipping his coffee. "But anyway let me tell you this, it did say that it did not recommend making deals with the dead." Charles blinked.</p><p>"Why not?" He asked, hoping for answers.</p><p>"It said that, and I quote, ‘working with the dead to prolong your life could lead to unfortunate changes.’ And that was it."</p><p>"Unfortunate changes? What does that even mean?!" He asked, jumping to his feet. "I swear, whoever was in charge of writing that damned book must have also invented the DMV!" Otho chuckled before setting his coffee cup down.</p><p>"Oh come now Charles... At least it didn't have anything to say about cannibal ghosts."</p><p>"Yes, it's so comforting for them to not include something my daughter has seen, and that a ghost informed me about."</p><p>"Well maybe he was lying. After all that Jakob disease or whatever Lydia has is supposed to distort reality, right?" Otho asked and Charles nodded slowly. "So maybe he is using her sickness to win you over,” the man suggested to the distressed father as he picked his mug back up.</p><p>Charles glanced up, his eyes full of rage. He suddenly launched himself off the chair.</p><p>"You know what Otho, you might be right! Of all the lousy ideas-" He growled before looking back to Otho. "You're invited to go out to dinner with us tonight," Otho smirked.</p><p>"Why? Because I solved your problem?" He asked as smug as ever.</p><p>"No- Because I think Lydia knows that we have been meeting up... I don't know how.. I haven't written anything down, or said anything."</p><p>"Maybe you talk in your sleep" Otho mused</p><p>"No, no, no I think.. I think HE had something to do with this..." He whispered looking to the clock. "Can you make it to dinner?"</p><p>"Well- I did have prior engagements, but I suppose I could meet the family again for a little bit."</p><p>"That's fine... We have a play to catch anyway. Beauty and the Beast. I couldn't believe Lydia agreed to see it,” Charles said moving to the door. "Meet us at Planet Hollywood around 5 or so," he called as he headed for the door again, leaving the oversized man.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lydia sat in the restaurant, a parent on each side and Otho across from her. She was trying to tell if he had gained weight, or if he just expanded his wardrobe to other colors that didn't agree with his form, and by the looks he was giving her, she could only assume that he was mentally observing her attire as well.</p><p>"So Otho, what have you been up to these days?" Delia asked, still smitten by the man who left them for dead. Otho offered her a smile.</p><p>"Well my dear, I have resigned from all paranormal activities..." He paused giving a quick glance to Charles, which Lydia took note of, then continued. "And I am continuing my work in home decor. I am actually going to be helping with the renovation of some Trump hotels," He said taking a sip of his coffee.</p><p>"I guess these are tough times for everyone then," Lydia mused softly, which got a chuckle from her father.</p><p>Otho kept his tongue back. If she were in a healthier state, he might have spat a comeback, but even then she was always a hard one to get at. You can't embarrass those who don't care for company. He instead focused back onto Delia.</p><p>"And how is my rising star?" The question causes the middle-aged woman to blush like a young schoolgirl.</p><p>"Oh Otho, well I am beginning to see a rise in commissions. I guess people are finally beginning to appreciate art,” Delia said with a smile before looking to Charles. "I really wish you would have told me of this sooner, then maybe we ALL could have gone to see the play together." But Otho shook his head as he pushed himself away from the table.</p><p>"Oh no Delia, I couldn't! I must be off anyway. Perhaps I can see you again before you take off back to that hick town.."</p><p>"Oh yes, let's do brunch tomorrow!" Delia said with a smile. "Just the two of us, Charles wanted to spend the day with Lydia tomorrow so I have nothing to do!"</p><p>"Then it's a date, meet me at my apartment at noon. Tah tah Deetz," Otho said before leaving the family just as the check arrived.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lydia was somewhat enchanted by the theater as they stepped into the building. It had a modern victorian appeal to the architect and furnishing inside. She was taking it all in when Delia took her hand.</p><p>"Well Come on Lydia! I don't want to miss the curtain!" She said, pulling her for the doors.</p><p>"Actually- I'll meet you guys in there, I need to use the bathroom real quick," she lied which allowed her to be free of Delia's hold.</p><p>"Well better go before curtains open!" She called as she dragged Charles off. Lydia smiled before wandering off to see what else the building had to offer.</p><p>She came to a halt when she turned a corner to see that the empty hallway lights were dead leaving only shadows. Moving shadows. She slowly made her way down, her black dress flowing behind her. "Hello?" She called looking down the pitch-black hallway before she froze.</p><p>It hit her again. That paralyzing fear. Her stomach churned and the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She tried to make a sound but only a ragged breath came out of her mouth.</p><p>She saw them, the eyes, and not just one pair but dozens! Dozens and dozens of blood-red eyes looking right at her. She wished for more than anything she could have become invisible at this very moment but Lydia suspected that they could find her even without sight. The wisp, shadowy figures advanced upon her. Slowly, like a pack of wolves on a sheep who was separated from the rest of the flock. She fled, running faster than she ever had, thankful that she did not take Delia on the offer of heels and stuck with her worn-out boots.</p><p>She ran for the theater doors, but stopped seeing they were already blocked off, more of these things filled the once empty room. Now it was her and at least one hundred of these things. They began to close in on her. Lydia’s heart was racing. She began to back herself into the wall before she turned into it, wanting to hide, hoping she would just vanish right there.</p><p>The spirits swirled around her, never getting closer than a few feet away, with each attempt they made to go in for the kill it was as if a wall they could not pass came upon them.</p><p>"Why is this happening?" Lydia whispered to herself, and no answer came. Only the moans and whispers from the ghouls surrounding her.</p><p>Barbra and Adam couldn't come to her rescue.</p><p>"Beetlejuice"</p><p>Otho would be more likely to ruin things rather than help.</p><p>"Beetlejuice"</p><p>And she couldn't even trust her father to tell her the truth.</p><p>"...Beetlejuice.." She breathed, eyes still clamped shut and facing the wall until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around her dark eyes met his green. She almost smiled before he shoved her into the wall glaring around.</p><p>"Why the FUCK did you call me now?!" Beetlejuice hissed, his hands tightening on her shoulders with enough force that made Lydia wince.</p><p>"I thought you could help me! Last time you said-!"</p><p>"Last time was different toots!" He shouted before he shook his and looked around at the soul suckers encircling them. His eyes then went to Lydia again spotting the Evil Eye around her slender neck and chuckled. "You lucked out kid,” he said tapping on the necklace. "That right there will keep them from getting at ya, wards off evil spirits and stuff." Lydia blinked, shocked that the necklace actually worked in the intended method.</p><p>"Wait- then how is it that you are still so close?" She asked, pushing the dead man's hands off of her.</p><p>"Because, I want to marry ya, along with some other stuff- not kill ya or anything," Beetlejuice muttered as he scratched at his neck and looked around, his back to the wall now as well. "There is something wrong here.”</p><p>"You think?" Lydia yelled at him for the obvious statement.</p><p>"I mean it," Beetlejuice growled back. "There should NEVER be this many dead ghosts on the loose..." He whispered.</p><p>"Well can't you send them back or something?!"</p><p>"No, can you?!" He asked before shaking his head. "We can't stay here though, the more that gather here, the weaker that little trinket gets. Soon it won't do Jack shit," Beetlejuice stated, his eyes focused on several of the ghosts before his eyes met Lydia's again.</p><p>She was giving him that look again, that she had all about given up on life, yet still remained a spark inside. His buddy Poe would have something poetic to say about the expression for sure but to Beetlejuice that look of hers just frustrated him. The weaker sex his ass, women didn’t even have to lift a finger to get shit done, they could bewitch idiots like him to get what they wanted. He released a groan and shoved his hand into his jacket pocket, pulling out a piece of chalk.</p><p>"Let's hope you are as special as I think you are," the less than friendly ghost grumbled turning to the wall and drew a rectangle large enough for the two to fit in. He ignored the confused look on her face and took a step back. Returning the chalk back into his pocket his left hand found Lydia's and held onto it as though he was holding on for his life. Hell, in a way he was.</p><p>"Kid, I'm warning you now, it's a freak show in there. So don't be screaming or anything. Got it?"</p><p>Lydia nodded slowly, unsure of his intentions, but once he knocked on the rectangle three times, and that eerie green light that she saw over five years ago, nearly blinded her but she understood. He was taking her to the Neitherworld.</p><p>Where the chalk lines stood a doorway was coming into place, and on the other side of the doorway, Lydia could see what appeared to be a city. She hesitated before she looked up to Beetlejuice who was watching her again, waiting for her move. For all he knew the portal would fry her to a crisp. No way in hell was he going to make the first move. Without a word Lydia stepped forward, pulling Beetlejuice’s hand along and the gateway closed behind them.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Neither Here Nor There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lydia turned her head to see if the predators followed but to their luck the door had already shut them out. Once assured that she no longer had to fear for her life, she turned her attention to The Neitherworld. It was better than she imagined. </span>
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  <span>There was life in the afterlife it seemed, as weeds and grass that bore its way through the concrete had a magnificent hue of blue, the sky was green with purple clouds, or was it the other way around? The colors seemed to swirl and blend together like paint. Everything was opposing her world and she loved every bit of it. </span>
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  <span>“I could get used to this…” Lydia uttered as she walked further from the wall they had just stepped through and towards the street, her eyes still on the skyline. Beetlejuice’s gaze however was focused on the fingers that were wrapped around his hand. </span>
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  <span>Lydia Deetz had dreadful blood circulation, which was a bonus in this world. A warm body would surely attract attention, but even her icy grip felt sultrier than all of the dames in Dante’s Inferno Room. Surely the core of the woman were warmer than this, her insides must be-</span>
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  <span>"Babes, you can let go now," the man quickly stammered, making Lydia snap back to reality. Their eyes met first before Lydia directed her gaze to their locked hands. Releasing her hold on the ghost, she turned her attention to the world of the dead again.</span>
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  <span>"Sorry Beej, got a little lost there," the young woman admitted not paying any notice to the man who pulled a trench coat from thin air.</span>
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  <span>"Better not keep those wandering eyes, kid," Beetlejuice barked as he shrugged on the coat and shook off the anticipation that he had just built up. What in the name of the seven sins was he thinking bringing her down here?! If the Living and the Dead committee was looking to make him worm fodder over his visits to the living what the hell would they have to say about him bringing a living chick down here?! The ghost threw his eyes at Lydia again and groaned. She looked like a kid at Disneyland the way she beamed at everything. She was going to land him on Saturn. Again. </span>
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  <span>Beetlejuice walked out to where she stood and looked around for any signs of life- or in the current location anyone that had a functioning pair of eyes. Feeling that the coast was clear, Beetlejuice grabbed Lydia’s arm and dragged her back to the ally they had emerged from. Before Lydia could form an argument, Beetlejuice had pushed her up against a wall and began to tear at her dress. </span>
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  <span>Eyes wide, Lydia screamed and slapped him across the face achieving the desired effect of having him stop while also earning a yelp from him.</span>
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  <span>"What the hell was that for?!" Beetlejuice snapped as he tended to his raw cheek. Lydia's jaw nearly dropped at the question?</span>
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  <span>"Wh- Are you for real right now?! You're the one who couldn't keep his hand to himself!" Lydia shouted back as she looked over the damage. "Ugh… Delia is going to kill me when she sees this," muttered the young woman, but the poltergeist was right back to assaulting her clothing.</span>
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  <span>"BeetleJui-!" But she was silenced by his hand covering her mouth. He cast a glance out to the street before sending a glare back to her.</span>
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  <span>"Listen Babes, believe me, I would love to have it with you here and now, but you ain't gonna pass for a deadbeat looking all pretty and what not," He said watching her. "I'm gonna take my hand away now so don’t scream. We can save that for later." Beetlejuice said with a wink as he removed his hand.</span>
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  <span>Lydia eyed him, unsure if his intentions were true, but considering that he could have just left her for dead back in the world of the living she gave a light sigh and folded her arms before raising an eyebrow waiting for the authoritative speech to come.</span>
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  <span>"You look like a tourist," Beetlejuice pointed out as he knelt down, both hands on the hem of the bottom of the dress. "I mean, as far as appearances go, you already look perfect for a coffin. Pale skin, dark eyes, and heck, let's face it," Beetlejuice paused as he tore a slit right up to the mid-thigh range. "You don't exactly have the liveliest personality out there." </span>
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  <span>Lydia rolled her eyes, letting the dead man tend to her 'makeover'. After a few more rips, a removed glove and some dirt Lydia was a perfect candidate for Miss Graveyard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright doll face, if anybody asks how you got here just ignore 'em. You look like a rape victim, so act like a rape victim,” ordered the dead man peeking out onto the side walk. Lydia wanted to ask him if he had experience with the demographic she was supposed to blend in with before he was dragging her back out into the open by the wrist. "Better yet, just let me do the talking. Stay close, stay silent and uh... just don't look happy.”</span>
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  <span>"So where are we going anyway?" Lydia asked, doing her best not to let her eyes wander which wasn’t too difficult as her gaze was burning a hole into the back of Beetlejuice’s skull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, babes, if you want to know, we are going to see Juno,” he replied. Juno might not be a cheerleader in his court, but if there was one thing Juno hated more than him it was poor management and the oversight on the closet would surely get the hags goat. “Maybe she can help sort out why so many of those closet jockeys are on the loose," he said looking over his shoulder and shook his head looking ahead again. “She’s really gonna flip seeing you though.”</span>
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  <span>Lydia had to admit, the man was impressing her to a certain degree. This was the most serious he had seen the man, other than that one time that involved an altar. He had her right where he wanted her and yet he was focused on the mission, whatever that was. </span>
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  <span>The deeper into the city they went, the more signs of life began to show. Life might not have been the right word, but the Ghost town wasn’t looking as desolate now. She saw demented looking cats and beastly dogs. She always figured animals had an afterlife. In the eighth grade she had been sent to the principal's office for having a heated debate with a teacher on the subject of animal rights. When the teacher said 'animals didn't have souls, it's okay to kill them' Lydia simply responded with a statement. "I read that's most serial killers' work their way up from small animals to eventually killing people. Tell me Mrs. Thatcher, did you kill a lot of cats growing up?"</span>
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  <span>The semester of lunch detention as well as after school detention was worth it. Beetlejuice came to a halt once they came to a skyscraper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is it, kid. This is where all the magic happens," Lydia cocked an eyebrow at the notion of magic as the building actually looked rather ordinary to her. However, Adam and Barbara were the most ordinary looking people she had ever come into contact with and they were the first ghosts that she ever met. They were also the kindest people she had ever met.</span>
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  <span>"Beej? If- If they realize I'm not dead… what will they do?" Lydia asked, fear wasn't traced in her voice, but he could see it in her eyes.</span>
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  <span>"I dunno babes, most likely just give you the boot back home." He said, giving her a final once over before they moved inside. Truth be told he didn't believe that himself. Something was going on, he wasn't sure what. But he was going to find out. "Come on. " He said, hooking his arm around hers. "If anybody asks, just say that I paid for the day." He said, giving her a wink before pulling her into the office building.</span>
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  <span>Lydia wasn't sure why she would have to say anything at all until she saw the reactions of the people in the lobby. One man, who was more so bones than actual flesh, dove right into a trash can when the two entered, but mostly sneers of disgust came from those they passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you always get this reaction?" She asked, glancing up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm? Oh, yea,” Beetlejuice said with a shrug. "Should have seen it when I first got out of prison. Oh man! People were trying to kill themselves all over again!" He said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You went to prison- no wait, they have prison here?" She asked in shock. He gave a nod as the two pulled up to the elevator and stepped inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yea, I got five years for the stunt I pulled on you and the Maitland's." He said as he jabbed the button for floor 22.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Only five?" Lydia said in disbelief. “Pretty sure you’d get worse from the living system for the property damage, paralyzing two people and oh yeah, trying to marry a minor.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey babes, I was just as shocked as you." He said as the elevator doors closed. "But I think the punishment wasn’t as strict because at the time nobody round here thought it could be done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought what could be done?” Lydia asked in confusion. “I thought you ghosts haunted and harassed the living all the time.” Beetlejuice just shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that, that shit is child’s play. The hitching part was what landed me in the slammer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia blinked as the elevator doors reopened to reveal a room which seemed to emit green light. It looked like a doctor's office. Various chairs sat around the room and in every seat sat a person, though some of the people didn't look like, well, people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice was rather shocked at how well Lydia reacted to the Neitherworld population, maybe too well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was grinning from ear to ear. A man who died from a nail gun was her main area of attention until she spotted the receptionist, Miss Argentina, who was as radiant and green as ever. She however didn't think quite so highly of 'the ghost with the most'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Beetle, back so soon? I was so sure that they would just ship ya to Saturn," drawled the woman while filing her nails. Beetlejuice grinned now, approaching the dead woman, the living girl on his heel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aw shucks, you flatter me. Though you know... I would have thought that after working here, what, fifteen years, they would at least promote you to something respectable... like a janitor!" The woman narrowed her eyes, shifting her gaze to Lydia briefly then back to the ghoul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you want, Beetle? And uh, who is your friend?" She asked, giving Lydia another look over. Beetlejuice maintained his grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, aren't you just green with envy?" He teased. "This here is my new friend... And you know, me being such a standup guy, I just wanted to introduce her to Juno."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is Juno her caseworker? I don't recall seeing that file."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, well just call up Juno, even if she isn't hers, she'll still see the girl. Trust me." Miss Argentina sat back then proceeded to fold her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's going to have to take a number, just like the rest of the deadbeats in here," Which got a cheer from the rest of the members in the room. Lydia sighed heavily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on Beej, let's just take a number." She groaned, moving the take a ticket, but the ghost instead wrapped a possessive arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Listen Carrot Top, just call her up. Ask her if me and my- fiancé can see her. Maybe treat her to lunch." He said as he rested his head on top of Lydia’s and batted his eyes at the receptionist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyeing the pair suspiciously for another moment the green woman finally gave in and dialed the extension to Juno's office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi there Juno… Yes, I know you don't like to be interrupted…. No, I do have better things to do, but Beetlejuice and his girlfriend-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fiancé," Beetlejuice corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, fiancé, want to see you…. Mhmm." She glanced at Lydia now, inspecting her with a fine-tooth comb. "Yea, that's her I guess. Personally, I think that- What's that? Okay. Yes, I'll send them right up," She said before hanging up the phone. Normally she would attempt at a sarcastic smile to let the customer know they could proceed, but with Beetlejuice, she presented the most displeased look she could produce.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go on then!" She said, and not needing to be told again, Beetlejuice dragged Lydia into the next room, far more lively than the waiting room, the office was teeming with movement. Skeletons clacking away at typewriters, disemboweled men passing along memos, and the two were nearly smacked by a human rug that flew by on a hook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice didn't allow Lydia too long to admire the workplace, instead, he aimed for Juno’s fishbowl in the sky. Upon entering, Juno closed all of the blinds and turned to face the two, her attention directed on Beetlejuice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you mad?!" She asked in a hushed yell. The man grinned taking a seat, while Lydia remained standing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know about mad, I am rather curious though..." He said propping his boots on the desk. "Since when did we start leaving the closet door open?" He asked, eyeing his former business partner as she made her way around the desk. Juno shook her head as she took her seat and shoved Beetlejuice’s feet off the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You got too close Beetle. The committee wants you GONE. " She said, lighting up a cigarette and pointed to Lydia. "As well as the girl."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me?!" Lydia asked, rage mixed with honest confusion in her voice. She still stood by the door but advanced to the desk at the news. "What did I do?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's their fail-safe kid," Juno mumbled. "They claim that if those suckers don't get Beetle, then at least they will get rid of you, preventing our... 'Friend' here from ever rejoining the living." Beetlejuice had to chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do they seriously think that offing the kid would stop me? I mean, come on, I've been around long enough to know that there are plenty more fish in the sea… No offense babe." He said glancing back at her. Lydia frowned but didn't respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There may be plenty more fish... but Beetle, you know she's more than just a catch. Everyone involved in your case knows that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why? Because she's 'special'?" He asked, which the correct answer was more than a simple yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It would be easy for any ghost to get out if all the had to do was marry a flesh bag, anyone with a pulse," Juno started. "But their souls aren't strong enough to support that kind of union." Lydia blinked looking at the two in conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait. Just- just wait," Lydia interjected as she came in between the two. "What's this now about me being special? I mean for Christ's sake, I've never been one to get top marks, or score a winning goal-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lyds, babes, darling…" Beetle said as he took hold of one of her hands and held it like she was a distraught Victorian woman. "You are. How can I put this...?" He started but dropped off and looked to Juno in hopes she could explain the rest of his thought process. Juno shook her head looking at the girl as she brought out a pack of cigarettes. She normally killed a pack in a week, but she was confident she’d have to replace her smoke supply well before the day was out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You see ghosts far better than most do. It's not a talent, it's a gift. You're what people would refer to as a medium. You not only see ghosts, but you can touch them, I mean hell, here you are. A living girl in the Neitherworld." She said leaning back in her chair taking a long drag from a freshly lit cigarette. "It was said to be impossible. Yet here you are..." Lydia nodded slowly before glancing back to Beetlejuice. He gave her a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, what now?" Lydia asked, looking to Juno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now? Well now we have too-" She stopped before hearing the door open. One of her subordinates, a feeble man who didn't look like death had graced him but he was dead all the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Juno, ma'am. Mr. D'Angelo is on his way down to see you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit. Why shit?" Beetlejuice asked getting to his feet. "Did Walter set this up?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Beetle, Walter is in charge around here now," Juno spat looking at Lydia. "It's a good thing you don't stick out like a sore thumb around here. In fact, you fit in better than Jason here," she said nodding to the feeble man who announced Walter's pending arrival. "Beetle, scram, now." She ordered. Beetlejuice groaned before he snapped his fingers and vanished. Before Lydia could object to the measures taken the door slammed open again, nearly sending Jason to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walter D'Angelo entered the room, and he didn't look pleased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright Juno, you know him better than anyone else, where is he?" Roared the man as Lydia backed away from the desk and went to a wall to observe the photos hung around the room trying to look as unimportant as possible. While she fled, Juno couldn't help but smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Guess your plan didn't work out for you," Juno said, bringing the cigarette to her lips. Walter growled and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We were so close. We lost track of their souls. The Beetle is MIA, but we are pretty sure we got the girl... After all. Not like she could make it here with him." He said smiling. "She's strong, but no one can do that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia was thankful that her back was to Walter, the man who had apparently tried to assassinate her. She would smile at the fact that she was right underneath his nose if the stakes weren’t so damn high. Killing Beetlejuice she could get, and hell, if she was being completely honest, under the right circumstances she might have welcomed an end. But sending those things to eat her soul? That was overkill if she ever saw it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes came upon a photo of Juno receiving an award of some sort, but what caught her eye wasn't the deadpan gaze the public servants gave for the ceremonious photo, but that Beetlejuice was hiding in the photograph. He gave her a wave, but she could only return a sardonic smirk in response when she felt the floorboards rise up ever so slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now who is this pretty wilted flower?" Walter’s voice chimed. Unsure of who he was talking about, Lydia glanced over her shoulder and met Walter's eyes. What was it with dead men hitting on her she wondered briefly, but then she remembered that she had to play dead too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Audrey Dean. I'm- new here," She lied, hoping her brief stint in drama club paid off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Audrey. What a classy name for a classy lady..." He said approaching her. "Tell Me, Audrey. What was your poison of choice?" He asked surveying her for any obvious wounds while she offered the best smile she could, which was hardly a smile at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well… I had a little too much to drink,” Lydia started, wishing that she and Beetlejuice came up with a better backstory before he started destroying her outfit, but the plan was to let him do the talking anyway. “I had a rough night and thought it might be nice to take the pain away with some pills," she whispered, making up a back story as she went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah. Yes. You seem like quite the dramatic type." He said raising his chin. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Audrey." He said as he pulled out a business card and handed it to her. "If you would like a explore the Neitherworld, I'd be more than happy to fill you in on the area. And anything else that needs filling," Walter said suggestively, sending her a wink before he turned on his heel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be back Juno. And oh, maybe you should keep Ms. Dean towards the front. This is such a dreadful place, having her be the first person I see may brighten up my day." He called back as he left the room, closing the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were free from his presence, Beetlejuice appeared back in the room, fuming with anger. Strutting over to Lydia he snatched the card from her hand and set it aflame with only a few specks of ashes remaining.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What a no-good, two-faced, bride snatching, murder hungry, fat fuck!" Beetlejuice hissed as he clenched his fists before he turned to face Juno. "Who does he think he is?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He knows he runs this town Beetle,” Juno muttered from behind her desk. “Now calm down. Lydia is safe for the time being since they think she is dead, though I’m not sure what we are going to do about her now… But you need to lay low until this blows over." Beetlejuice’s tongue jabbed as the inside of his lower lip as he walked for the door again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yea, he thinks she is as stiff as a board, and there he was, wanting to give her his stiff board!" He said as he made a jerking off motion at the door. His arms dropping down to his sides again, he gave a glance to Lydia. "Nice save by the way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia sighed and nodded making her way for one of the chairs that sat in front of Juno’s desk. Throwing herself into the seat like a rag doll she placed her hands over her face and suppressed the urge to scream. Her brief encounter with Walter was enough to make her reconsider taking her life if it meant that she would have to deal with the bastard for all her dead days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well it's not like I had the option of being myself here..." She mumbled as she removed the hands from her face and eyed Juno. "Does that mean I can go home now, without having to worry about those damn things eating me?" Juno opened up her to speak but Beetlejuice was draping himself across Lydia’s lap, hovering just enough so his weight never came down onto her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not a chance kid, they'll still smell ya,” he said placing his arms behind his head as he gazed up at her. “By the way, you do smell pretty good," the ghost noted as he took an exaggerated inhale, earning an eye roll from the young woman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, we can't have her stay here!" Juno uttered, her hand outstretched to the door. "You saw the way Walter was with her! I bet you my pack of cigarettes he's trying to find out everything he can about Audrey Dean, who by the way, doesn’t exist!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice rolled over in the air and planted his feet firmly on top of Juno’s desk. Folding his arms, he bent slightly at the waist to observe his riled frenemy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well June bug,” Beetlejuice started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here are Lydia’s current options,” Beetlejuice restarted as he unfurled his arms and plucked the cigarette from her mouth and took a drag for himself. “A. she stays here and gets to enjoy the mobster's meatballs, 2. We ship the kid back home so she can get devoured by those suckers, or we can go with really the only real solution- a good, old fashioned shotgun wedding! We get hitched, everybody wins, nobody dies and I am the one that’s getting laid!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia treated the screaming match that now ensued between Beetlejuice and Junoas white noise. None of the choices pleased her at all. But, she wouldn't mind staying here so long as she could keep Walter away. Maybe it was the fact that he wanted her permanently dead that made him more of a turn off than Beetlejuice which was rather impressive when one thought about the competition.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it possible for me to die here? Like from age or sickness?" Lydia asked looking up from her trance. The question made the pair pause and focus their attention to the young woman. Juno frowned at the query, as did Beetlejuice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well- it's hard to say. There has never been a living person here before. Sure, every now and again we have a medium’s mind blindly poking around in search of lost loved ones... but never an actual being!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia smirked. Beetlejuice was able to go haunt the living world as much as he pleased it seem, just not fully exist without the invitation. Meanwhile, she could pass for a regular deadbeat here. Granted, she couldn’t get in without the doorway open for her but it was a feat to just be standing in the Neitherworld according to Juno’s statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm in," Lydia announced standing up. "I want to stick around for a bit. Just until I know how to deal with those suckers..." She noted out loud before looking to Beetlejuice. "And you promised me a tour." He scoffed at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whoa, you said when you die and you ain't dead babe. You're just a tourist babe," Juno nodded in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia, you can't stay here. I won't allow it. You have any idea how many violations you must be breaking right now?!" Lydia could only shrug as she got to her feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What can you guys do? Arrest me? I don't even belong here. And if you force me out you’ll be as much of a killer as Walter-" Lydia said shifting her weight onto one leg as she folded her arms in defiance. Beetlejuice was grinning now, enjoying the bad streak the girl was giving off now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We can find a way to get you back without the souls from the closet catching on, just give me a minute. Beetlejuice, go get lost before Walter comes back for another check-in," Juno ordered as Beetlejuice grabbed Lydia's hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah, you heard her June Bug. I owe this little lady a tour!" Beetlejuice shouted as he jumped down from the desk and hooked Lydia’s arm and dragged her out of the room before Juno could say another word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice grinned as they made it to the elevator. The kid had spunk, he’d give her that, along with a number of other enticing qualities. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now I don’t want you getting your hopes up or nothin’,” Beetlejuice said as they stepped into the elevator. “It's not all that great around here kid, but I figure we can find something to entertain you. How about some grub first, or we can go to my place and get you settled in. Maybe get you out of those rags and into a wedding gown?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia smirked at the attempt as she pressed for the bottom floor. "Sounds swell Beej, what do ghosts even eat?" She asked as the doors closed.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Twenty Questions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lydia tried to keep her gaze ahead but it was hard to control her wandering eyes. Though these people were 'dead' some of the characters they passed by were more lively than the class clowns in her old school. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. A majority of those who resided in the Neitherworld looked downright miserable.</p><p>"The looking glass," She mumbled to herself without realizing the words left her mouth into the atmosphere.</p><p>"Come again?" The Ghost with the Most inquired, Lydia then shook her head as they continued walking.</p><p>"You know, the looking glass from Alice and Wonderland?" But he still didn't seem to get it which made her sigh. "In the story of Alice in Wonderland, and it’s sequel Through the Looking-glass and What Alice Found There, the protagonist Alice is transported to a world where everything that isn't is, and what is isn't." She said as she watched a car speed past them. "A land of nonsense, but yet it made perfect sense."</p><p>"So what? You think this is that this Alice chick landed in?" He asked, though at this point in the conversation the ghoul lost nearly all interest in it but if it kept the girl talking to him he’d play along. That’s what semi-decent folks did when they were courting someone of interest right?</p><p>"Oh no, of course not,” Lydia said with a half-smile. “Not unless of course, this place is hiding talking Cheshire cats that can grin from ear to ear and a Red Queen whos favorite pastime is beheading people."</p><p>"That's Juno for ya," Beetlejuice scoffed before casting his eyes down to the sickly woman on his arm. "But what are you getting at babe?"</p><p>"I’m not really sure if I had a point to compare the two but I wanted to come here so badly. I would have off'd myself had it not been for-…" She came to a stop not only in speech but in movement.</p><p>"The Maitlands,” the man finished for her as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.</p><p>"They aren't here, are they?" She asked with eyes so full of hope, but a voice of dread. The ghoul could only shake his head.</p><p>"'Fraid not babe," Beetlejuice muttered. "Rumor has it that they got an early release?" Suggested the ghost, unsure of the situation, but he hit the nail right on the head as Lydia nodded.</p><p>"They got to pass on because they were able to fulfill their mission in life,” muttered the girl as she pulled her arm away to pick up what looked like a purple dandelion growing within the crack of a sidewalk.</p><p>"Uhhh- being?" came the disgruntled voice of her ex 'betrothed' as he buried his hands into the pockets of his stripped pants and cracked one side of his neck. </p><p>"To have a family." Lydia came, now starting to get teary-eyed at the memory. "I mean I thought that they would of outstayed me. I only had a year with them and then all the sudden there was that stupid door!" Now the waterworks were really coming. "And Barbra said that they had to go, but they didn't have too, did they?"</p><p>"Christ kid, when did you become such a drama queen?" the man muttered pulling out a handkerchief from thin air, a spider hanging on it by its own thread, but Lydia was already using her sleeves.</p><p>"Sorry," Lydia said with bitterness in her voice. "What was I thinking, opening up to the guy I was going to marry. Could have sworn he would have some pity on me."</p><p>"Yea, what were you thinking," Beetlejuice grumbled back before eyeing the area to ensure no one heard their conversation and crouched down to her level, plucking the weed from her fingers. "Look I get it, you’re away from home for the first time, walking around a sketchy area with a dead guy, got things that want to suck out your soul, but this ain't exactly the time nor the place to get all emotional,” he warned as he took her by the hand and rose them both to their full heights. “But! If you want to confess your love for me, there is chapel down about a block or two and we can get hitched by Elvis, and I don't mean a Vegas Elvis but you know, the king himself!" He said tucking the dandelion above her ear. </p><p>"Nah. I think I'll pass," She said with a half-hearted laugh, which he expected as much.</p><p>"Suit yerself babes, but don't you get all green with envy like Dogo Argentino back at the office should I end up with a new lover," Beetlejuice taunted as he began to walk away, Lydia quickly back at his side. "Now let's see here. Got you to see Juno, went to the Dumpster Dive Diner, took a lovely stroll along the Dead Sea… Damn, as far as first dates go, I think I did pretty good. Next up would be to drop you off at home, but being that that's not in the cards, looks like you are coming home with me." He said with a grin, but Lydia just laughed.</p><p>"Alright. Where do you call home?" She asked, but in the blink of an eye the two were sitting down on a sofa that clearly had seen better days, before a television set that was literally on its last leg. His arm wrapped around her shoulder and a cold bottle of beer popped into his other hand.</p><p>"Now I know what you are thinking... How on earth could you leave me at the altar? Cause' I mean come on, would you look at that TV?! Nothing says success better than how good of a home entertainment system you got,” joked the dead man, but Lydia was already off the couch inspecting his 'home'.</p><p>Cobwebs in every corner, several layers of dust covered any furniture piece that you couldn't sit on, clothes tossed about the floor and draped over various pieces of furniture, a lone sock on the ceiling fan that shook as though it would come off its hinges at any given moment. The phrase of 'how could anyone live like this' came to mind but the fact of the matter was that this man had not lived for over a hundred years.</p><p>Her gaze move down the hall to spot a bedroom, though she calculated it would be best to steer clear from that area altogether and not give the ghost any ideas. Moving back to the couch she sat where she was seated before though now her body faced towards him, inspecting him.</p><p>Feeling her eyes on him, the ghost shifted his gaze from the television to the dame. </p><p>"Uhh.. Can I help you?" Asked the man cocking an eyebrow as Lydia sat up a little straighter, attempting to be at his eye level. </p><p>"Did you really live through the black plague?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You know, the plague. I asked Barbra and Adam about you, given that they spent more time with you, and they said that you told them you lived through the black plague,” Beetlejuice couldn't help but chuckle.</p><p>"Wanted to know what you missing out then, huh?" He asked before setting the lip of the bottle to his own lips and threw it back. After guzzling a third of the fizzy liquid he set the brew dug into his coat pocket for a pack of cigarettes.</p><p>"Can you just answer the question?" Lydia asked impatiently as he lit up the cigarette and took in a purposefully long drag before releasing an equally long trail of smoke into the air.</p><p>"You answer mine, and I'll answer yours," the dead man responded, tossing his head fully to her direction</p><p>Eying him suspiciously unsure if he would keep to his word, or more so if it was even worth getting into it with him, but curiosity got the better of her. </p><p>"I just wanted to know what I was about to get myself into," confessed the young woman as she settled deeper into the ragged cushions.</p><p>"What did they say?" He countered but Lydia folded her arms.</p><p>"Oh hey now, I answered your question already, you don't get another answer until I get my first." She warned which cracked a smile from the ghost's lips as he took in another drag.</p><p>"...Yea. I lived through it. Saw all of Bill Shakespeare's plays, and was even offered the role of Hamlet by Bill himself."</p><p>"You met William Shakespeare? But wait, the plague ended nearly two hundred years before-"</p><p>"Not necessarily. The plague kept at it for a while longer than your books teach. Death just wasn't as constant in later years, but it was still around, and yes I met William, but he really wasn't all that grand. Yea he could write plays in his sleep, but the guy was a dick."</p><p>"And you aren't?" She mocked arching her own brow. She had him there.</p><p>"Touche', but now you owe me three answers if we are still playing by your rules." Lydia gave a gruff sigh laying back against the armrest.</p><p>"Alright, ask your three questions." He grinned at her annoyance. This game of hers was now in his favor.</p><p>"What did the 'honorable Maitland's have to say about me again?"</p><p>"Not much other than you were a no-good pervert, and the only thing worse than your hygiene were your jokes."</p><p>"OW! Babe, below the belt much?" He yelped going into a defensive position in case of another assault of his pride.</p><p>"Listen, I'm only answering what they said,” Lydia said with a shrug. “Oh, and that marks two answers for you. One more before I can ask again." He cursed softly at the realization of a wasted question.</p><p>"Has to be a good one..." He mused taking in a third and final drag from the cigarette before flicking the remainder of the stick across the room. "Let me think now." His eyes roaming the ceiling for the perfect question before the girl got hold of the reins again.</p><p>"What," He paused wondering if that was the question he should go with.</p><p>"No. Who, wait, how about- let me see let me see," His right hand moving to scratch the back of his head.</p><p>"Vampires or Werewolves?!" He shouted hoping to catch her off guard to win himself another question.</p><p>"Vampires," Lydia said without so much of a bat of an eye causing the ghost to moan in defeat.</p><p>"I knew it. Should have asked you if you preferred Fantasy or Science Fiction." He muttered which earned him a giggle from the pale, frail and beau-ti-fal gal. Closing his eyes, he waited for Lydia to serve up the next question.</p><p>"Were you married before? Because that ring you gave me, you said-"</p><p>"Nah. Was just a joke," Beetlejuice quickly interjected before she could finish. "But don't worry. Even though I don't have experience in being wed, I do have skill in bed." He said with a toothy grin which made Lydia's stomach churn.</p><p>"Gross," She muttered shaking her head.</p><p>"Have you had your cherry popped?"</p><p>"You can't be serious," Lydia muttered as she pushed herself off of the couch, placing distance between them and keeping her back towards him, avoiding the smug expression on his face at all costs.</p><p>"Oh but I am. That's my question for you babes. Did you lose your virginity yet?"</p><p>"If I say yes, does that mean the wedding's off?" She asked, her voice thick with sarcasm.</p><p>"Oh no, I'd still marry the hell out of ya. I'm in it for the benefits, you being a hottie is just a bonus. Also for that, I get another question." His eyes closing as he rested his arms behind his head waiting for the response. </p><p>"…. No. I've failed as a young privileged white girl to give up my virginity in the back of some jock's shit Subaru," Lydia muttered, expecting Beetlejuice to be eyeing her like a slab of meat once more but to her surprise he remained still with his eyes shut.</p><p>"Have you done oral at least?"</p><p>"For the love of-! No, No I have not performed any sexual activity of any sort on anyone."</p><p>"Not even on yourself?" The deadman asked opening up one of his eyes.</p><p>"No, and it's my turn now." She spat wanting to get the talk of sex over and done with.</p><p>"Fire away babes," He muttered unphased, though he was somewhat disappointed by the less than juicy answers she gave and both eyes were shut again. She was silent for what seemed like hours to the ghost. Days even. He was nearly convinced he had pissed her off enough for her to forfeit this game of their when her voice rang out again.</p><p>"How did you die?"</p><p>His eyes shot open and immediately went to hers. He should have expected this question to come up but he couldn't believe she'd bring it up, at least not so soon, or at the very least he’d get more into her head before she brought up his headstone. His gaze moved from her doe eyes to the ceiling fan and briefly followed the sock that clung to one of the blades.</p><p>"Let's just say that even when I was alive, people didn't take too kindly to me," He muttered though he knew that it wasn't a suitable answer. He just interrogated the girl on her sex life and here he was getting squeamish on his end of their game.</p><p>"So you didn't kill yourself?" She asked gently as she moved back towards the couch but positioned herself in front of the ghost in the striped suit.</p><p>"… No. I didn't kill myself." He muttered meeting her eyes briefly before refocusing on the ceiling again. </p><p>"It's your turn," Lydia reminded but he paid her no mind. "I'm going to guess that it's game over for the night?"</p><p>"Yea. Game over kid," Beetlejuice spat to which she could only nod.</p><p>"It couldn't have been worse than what I have, could it?" She got him once again. What this girl had on her tail was worse than a death sentence, and she didn't even do anything to deserve it. Not that he had really asked for his fate either but he could have made a few less enemies in life if he tried.</p><p>"…. No. No, I suppose it wasn't." He said looking her in the eye again, she nodded in response before looking down the hall to the bedroom. She might have sworn off his room, but the events of the day were finally catching up with her.</p><p>"You can rest easy tonight. I hardly ever go in there anyway," He muttered reaching for the beer he had completely forgotten about, the bottle breaking out in a cold sweat.</p><p>"Are you sure? Because I could-"</p><p>"I'm sure, kid. Just go get your beauty sleep but be ready to out the window or under the bed come morning," Beetlejuice warned taking another swing of the beverage, not catching the confused expression on Lydia’s face.</p><p>"Why's that?" Lydia asked remaining in the spot she stood. </p><p>"You heard D'Angelo before. Him and his posse' have been looking everywhere for me, and though for most people home is the first place one would look, in my case, home is the last place most would find me." He uttered, going over all of the locations he occupied more than his shack of a place. A jail cell, Dante’s Inferno Room, creeping in the locker room of the Neitherville Horror derby team were just a few to list. "The fuck already has it in for me and if he sees Audrey Dean all cozied up in my bed?” Beetlejuice chuckled as he shook his head. “I’m pretty sure he would have me on the next trip to Saturn."</p><p>Lydia nodded considering the foe they were up against but judging by the tone in Beetlejuice’s voice he didn’t seem all that threatened by Walter. She wanted to ask him another question, but their game was over and he seemed more likely to give sarcastic comments than honest answers. Without a word, Lydia made her way to the bedroom, and with a flick of his wrist, Beetlejuice closed the door on her. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A Pair of Sinking Ships</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just as Beetlejuice predicted, Walter was not only outside his home but threatening to have the front door torn down if he was not let in. The Ghost with the Most gave a growl and he propped himself up from the couch, but before his hand could even touch the doorknob the door was torn right from the hinges it depended on and was tossed to the side. The removal of the door revealed that Walter not only had back up but that his back up had a twin. The brothers were Russian bodybuilders that had died from playing Russian Roulette with a con.</p><p>"Well, Walter. Ain't this a lovely surprise?" Beetlejuice stammered, his hands placed up in defense as he backed away from the wide-open entrance. While his body language spoke of fear a wry grin was placed across his lips.</p><p>"Save it Beetle!" the portly man spat as he and his men entered the home. Being that the two brutes weren't ripping up the rest of the house, Beetlejuice assumed that the visit was for interrogation rather than investigation for which Beetlejuice was thankful, but for good measure, he snapped his fingers and locked the door to his bedroom, not that the two monstrous men couldn't simply tear out that door, or even the walls that made up the room but it was the thought that counts right?</p><p>Lydia was wide awake from the sound of the house being torn open. Her hand motioned for the door but froze when she heard the unmistakable click of the lock. Now stuck inside the room, Lydia pressed her ear to the door in hopes to get an idea of what was going on the other side.</p><p>"Where were you last night?" Walter growled moving to the kitchen and grabbed the only chair it offered and placed it in the threshold of the living room. Seating himself he brought out a cigar he stored in his coat pocket but looked to Beetlejuice expectantly as he fished out a joint.</p><p>"Fucking your mother," the ghost in question replied smugly. "She wanted me to ask you why you never call her." And with that, the twins glanced to their employer who gave a nod and with that nod came one hell of a beat down.</p><p>The uglier of the two, (though both of them were rather ghastly looking even by Beetle's standards) held the poltergeist in a full nelson as his brother delivered blows to the torso and face. While this display of brutality went on, Walter did his best to get comfortable. Lighting up his cigar, Walter's eyes scanned the pig sty briefly, ignoring the grunts of Beetlejuice and his men. Puff the thick tobacco joint, Walter nestled into the chair and nodded to the men.</p><p>"Enough," he muttered, and the one delivering the punches stopped but the twin who restrained Beetlejuice did not release Beetlejuice, who was chuckling softly.</p><p>"I'll ask you again. Last night, where were you?" He asked dryly. Beetlejuice's face lit up.</p><p>"Well I'd ask you the same thing, but I'm willing to bet you were in between these two at some point during the night," the ghost replied with a bloodied grin. "One delicious Soviet, Italian sandwich." The twins glanced at each other before looking back to Walter who looked to be turning a darker shade of blue.</p><p>"Listen here you shit faced fool! I know for a fact that you have been crossing borders again," Walter shouted as he stood from the chair and threw the barely burning cigar to the couch. "I might have destroyed the only piece of evidence I had to prove it but I promise you that if you continue with this game of yours you are going to rue the day you died!"</p><p>"Oh Wally, I'm shaking in my fucking boots," the ghoul spat back. "What are you gonna do bub. Hmm? Gonna skin me up? Chop me up into itty bitty pieces? In case you haven't noticed, I'm already fucking dead!"</p><p>"Maybe I'll burn you at the stake," Walter replied with a knowing look, which made a spark flare in BJ's eyes.</p><p>"Oh? Don't like that idea, do you?" The former mobster asked. "I dug up some of your files. I know what you were, what you still are," He hissed eyeing him. "If I threw you in the closet... those suckers would be on you like white on rice."</p><p>Holding back a wince, the ghoul continued to watch the portly man with a new sense of awareness. "You don't know shit," Beetlejuice muttered, making Walter emit a short laugh.</p><p>"I know enough, like how you've already earned enough strikes to be sentenced to Saturn on your next fuck up." Walter then snapped his fingers and the goons released the bloodied and beaten ghost like a sack of potatoes. "But seeing that I'm moving on up in the realm, I could use my influence to ensure that for the rest of eternity you will know the true meaning of suffering. Just imagine it for a second you worthless piece of scum. Eternal suffering, unable to stop the pain, or lessen the agony, or-"</p><p>"Walter, I actually imagine it," Beetlejuice interrupted as he sat up on the floor, a hand on each kneecap knowing how much these old-time gangster types liked fucking with the joints. "I experience it whenever you're in the same room."</p><p>A hollowed chuckle was all he got from the dead gangster. However, he was delivered a swift kick to the jaw by one of the twins, sending him back and causing an ear-shattering crack when his skull collided with the floor. A moan escaping the lips of the ghoul was payment enough to get Walter to leave.</p><p>"I'll be back later, there's a pretty little wilted flower that I'd like to recruit as my 'personal' secretary..." He said with a smirk abandoning the place, the two muscled brutes following him out, no one bothering to fix the door on the way out.</p><p>Lydia waited for what felt like an eternity before the door was unlocked. Hesitantly, Lydia twisted the knob and pulled the door open ever so slightly, her eyes quickly scanning around to ensure that the coast was clear. Pulling the door fully open she spotted BJ laying on the floor. Convinced he was dead she ran to his side to check his vitals, which was pointless. The man hadn't had a pulse since lord knows when. She dipped her head close to his mouth in search of a sound of breathing or warm breath.</p><p>What she got was an ear full of a slithering wet and warm snake-like tongue.</p><p>Shrieking she jumped back and instinctively covered her ear, sending a death glare at the man who was doubled over from laughing.</p><p>"It's not funny! I thought they killed you!" Lydia spat, doing her best to clean out her ear of the saliva.</p><p>"Awe babe, it would take a lot more than two white Russians and a hard dick to put me out of my misery," He said with a grin watching her as he wiped away the blood from his mouth. "Though truth be told, you got it worse than me…"</p><p>"How so? And would you stop calling me babe!"</p><p>Rolling his eyes the ghost got to his feet and offered his hand to the girl who reluctantly took it so he could pull her as well.</p><p>"Because if you didn't hear him, he's got his eyes set on your little alter ego. And believe me, I've had the deep displeasure of working with that man for the past fifty-something years, and if I can sum up that old fat fuck into a brief message, it's that he ALWAYS gets his way."</p><p>"Well, he's not getting me... Dead or alive..." She stated simply walking towards the kitchen in search of some coffee.</p><p>"I'm telling you, babe, he doesn't take no for an answer. Trust me. If you think I'm bad, you're in for a field day with him."</p><p>Lydia, ignoring the pet name, sighed in defeat as she closed the pantry. All she found was an empty bag of potato chips and a can of spam.</p><p>Snapping his fingers two cups of coffee were produced and set out before the countertop before her. With a shy smile, Lydia retrieved the mug closest to her and inhaled the caffeine goodness that she was addicted to.</p><p>"Thanks." She muttered weakly as the ghost took his own.</p><p>"No sugar?"</p><p>She shook her head after taking a sip. "I like it black and as bitter as the devil's soul."</p><p>"Lucifer is actually a pretty nice guy. Those Christians actually got a lot of shit wrong, and left out some really juicy stuff." The statement nearly made her spit out her beverage.</p><p>"What?! He's real?!" She asked in disbelief, unsure what shocked her more. The actual possible existence of Satan or the Beetlejuice seemed to know this being on a personal level. "And how the heck would you know what's he like?! Is this… are we in hell?!"</p><p>"Calm your tits woman," the ghost bemoaned as he had cream added to his coffee and stirred it with his finger. "I've met him a few times. He actually sat in for my last hearing for the council. Didn't have any input on my sentence. He just watched," Beetlejuice said with a shrug. "He likes to visit from time to time anyway, so maybe it's like a vacation home to him I guess."</p><p>"Why would Satan want to hear your court case?" Lydia wondered and the ghost set down his cup.</p><p>"Couldn't tell ya, babe. Maybe he wanted me to go on down south with him. Help spice things up?" He mused but shook his head. "I digress though, we need to get you out of Walter's sight."</p><p>"I can handle him. I survived getting past every other rich pretty boy in high school who wanted to make me a notch in his belt. What does this guy have on me?"</p><p>"OH hmm, let me just think for a moment!" Beetlejuice started as he swiped his cup up again, the winter wheat colored liquid spilling over the side, narrowly dodging his suit and instead splashed down onto the counter the two were leaned up against. "What does Walter have? The influence of the whole head of The Dead committee, he is head of the dead and living meet and greet shit, can summon any one of his jack-off employees to snoop on you, pull up your files and records, oh, and let's not forget the two fucks who owe me a new front door."</p><p>"Fuck..." Lydia whispered setting her coffee cup down.</p><p>"Yea, fuck is right, babes. Because if you haven't done the math yet, this guy probably already requested your files to find out everything about you right down to the flowers at your funeral."</p><p>"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Lydia screamed retreating to the bedroom to retrieve her shoes. "Shit! He's going to come up empty-handed since I gave him a false name! How long do I have before he finds out I'm not who I said I am?!"</p><p>"Presuming he is as big of a perv as me and that he requested intel on you the moment he left Juno's office, I say you got till the end of the day," Beetlejuice said as he took a gulp from his mug.</p><p>"And then he's going to find out who I really am. Isn't he?" She asked in a whisper mostly to herself as she pulled up her boots. "What happens if he finds out that I'm-"</p><p>"Alive? Well, I dunno babe. That's not exactly a run of the mill fuck up down here. I can guess a few scenarios."</p><p>"And those would be?" She asked with an impatient growl.</p><p>"He may want to finish the job and just throw you in the closet with all those suckers, maybe send you to Saturn for the worms to get ya. Possibly use you against me to get rid of me for good and dump you back home. Though I could be low balling it here... The man claims to of been one of the head hit guys in the Mafia. It life he would take his time with those that pissed in his cheerios, but maybe you'll luck out. Maybe he'll just keep you locked away all for himself."</p><p>The scenarios sent shivers down Lydia's frail spine. Her dark eyes met his with conviction she frowned. "So what do we do?" Lydia asked and he chuckled softly at the question.</p><p>"What's that toots? Do you need a favor from me? Well, do you recall the last time I helped you out? Hmm? I was fucking taken out by a sandworm thanks to those friends of yours that I saved from certain doom and gloom."</p><p>Glaring at the ghost, Lydia made her way back over to the kitchen and got as close to the dead man as she could without actually touching him.</p><p>"Listen. I asked for your help last time and you gave it, I'm in your debt, I got it, but this guy wants both of us out of the picture so like it or not, we are in the same boat. If you don't want to help me, then fine, but you saved me back in the city-"</p><p>"Only because you called me," He hissed eyeing her as a wolf would to a wounded doe from behind his mug.</p><p>"But you still could have left me. So I'm sorry but I am left to believe that you still want me." She spat. "And I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry that you didn't get what you wanted last time we met, but I'm not playing by your rules anymore, I just want to bring this asshole down and spend what time I have left with my parents and maybe, just maybe, see Adam and Barbra again. So are you going to help me or not?" She asked her chest heaving in a sporadic pattern after letting out some much-needed steam.</p><p>The ghost gave a sly smirk as he gave himself a refill on his coffee. Leaning in closer to her face his lips next to her ear now. Lydia half expected that tongue of his make it's way into her ear yet again. She however didn't expect his venomous answer.</p><p>
  <strong>"I'd tell ya not to let the door hit you on the way out, but the Russians made sure that won't happen."</strong>
</p><p>With jaw at half slack, Lydia stood still, hoping that the ghost was pulling her leg again, but he didn't budge from his position. Too much time had fleeted from her to even attempt a witty comeback so the girl found herself left with no choice but to abandon the shack of a home. She was so sure he would have been with her on this to the bitter end. Be it for his obvious fascination with her or for his distaste for their common enemy. She made it to the door. And took a last glance over her shoulder to the ghost, and with that, she left without giving the last word nor the last laugh.</p><p>Beetlejuice didn't move from where he stood for quite some time. He hadn't even taken a sip of his fresh cup of coffee, allowing it to run cold just like the blood through his veins. Well, that was a lie. His blood was far warmer than the coffee, in fact, if he didn't know any better, he would have thought that his heart was racing at this moment.</p><p>She had the strangest effect on him. He couldn't recall the last time he let a dame get under his skin, couldn't remember the last time he met anyone who could put up with him, let alone someone he actually could say he could stand to be around for more than few screams or in his case laughs. In a fit of rage, he threw the coffee cup against the wall, the porcelain exploding once it made contact with the surface and had leaned back against the counter to support his body which his legs no longer longed to do.</p><p>What did he do? What was he supposed to do? 'Oh of course I'll help you take out the fuck face, and then just so you can die happy and go see Twiddle Dee and Dum, and leave me yet again!' His right hand ran through his hair and back to his neck as he began to plot out his next actions.</p><p>He wouldn't run after her. He refused even the thought of it. The brat wanted to act like she didn't need him, so let her see what it was like running around the neitherworld without him. She'd be calling him for help in no time. She always did.</p><p>'But what if she can't?' Came a voice in his head. He ignored the question, but it would plague him later in the night. Like it or not, the girl was his only way out and now she was wandering around an unfamiliar world which did not have laws against violent altercations, a world that no longer recognized nor cared about victims because everyone in this world was a victim to their own selfish thoughts.</p><p>Moving himself to the couch Beetlejuice eyed the doorway. He was half expecting Lydia to still be on the steps, like the way a small child threatens to run away but never even leaves the driveway out of fear of the unknown. But this kid took off, and that scared him. He might be the ghost with the most, but he was by no means the worst.</p><p>It wasn't just the miserable people who killed themselves. There were cult members who truly believed that they were on another planet. There were guys like Walter who would rather die at their own hand than rot in a jail cell. There were guys who did things worse than Walter who had the same view.</p><p>He called her name out three times, like that would bring her back to his place, but it wasn't the case. It was his curse after all.</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <strong>***** It's all downhill from here folks. Bad times are ahead. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>~ NAL</strong>
</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Beaten Half to Death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>1 of 2 Trigger Warnings. This chapter is dark. Interrogation tactics, extreme physical violence, implied threats of sex trafficking and rape.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> TRIGGER WARNING: - 2 of 2 </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> This chapter is not for the faint of heart. As the title references violence this is possibly the most graphic piece I've ever written as the scene contains torture, in the form of interrogation and from sheer brutality. (Includes burn wounds, extreme physical beating and breaking bones) </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> While I did create this scene please do not think that I in any way condone violence. Life, unfortunately, can be very cruel, and that cruelty doesn't stop after death here. </strong>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Lydia trudged through the streets of the Neitherworld, cursing the dead man she just departed from. She knew that was too much to ask of him, but she had to take the risk on the off chance that her formerly betrothed would assist her in setting things right. This was his home after all.</p><p>"But it's not where he wants to be," her mind whispered ever so gently. </p><p>Lydia gave a heavy sigh before resting her back against a building, her dark doe eyes gazing up to the sky. She lost track of the time, and not even the sky could give her a hint as to what time of day it was. Then again, time didn't really matter to the dead, did it?</p><p>She stood for a while, unsure if she was admiring the 'heavens' above her or damning it, but it was beautiful. Green, pink, orange, purple and coal gray. All swirling, meshing and mixing with one another.</p><p>"Well, you must’a just rolled in recently. Am I right?" Came a strangled voice breaking the girl from her trance. Lydia’s eyes moved to meet the owner of the voice. A man stood a few yards away, maybe in his thirties, with auburn hair and brown cold eyes, which she could only describe as coffee stains. He wore a blue business suit with a white undershirt and black tie. Around his neck was a noose which still seemed to suffocate the man.</p><p>"Am I that obvious?" She asked, folding her arms, continuing to survey him. She already had his life story just at a quick glance, not that it was difficult to do with the rope dragging behind him.</p><p>"Heh, just a bit. Only the fresh ones take time to look around. After a while, it goes back to the same mundane experience of life after death. Only this time around you can't check out." He said with a laugh. "The name is King. Joe King. What's yours?"</p><p>"Audrey Dean." She replied without hesitation.</p><p>"Liar."</p><p>"Excuse me?" Lydia asked, her tone more aggressive than guilt-stricken.</p><p>"You're lying," he replied shoving his hands in his pockets. "Trust me, I was a journalist. It's my job to call out liars," He said with a light shrug and advanced towards her still.</p><p>"Funny, I thought you guys were paid to lie." She retorted folding her arms.</p><p>"Oh, kitty's got claws! I like that. So tell me then, was that your street name? Because you know, if it was and you were looking for some work I-"</p><p>Lydia growled pushing off the wall and faced the dead beat, a scowl on her face.</p><p>"I'm not a hooker, nor am I interested in becoming one, so if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be."</p><p>"How is The Beetle these days anyway?" the stranger cooed as she started to away again. "... Not many women go down his way, and even less come back without him on their tail. Or without coin on hand."</p><p>"Nothing happened," Lydia spat.</p><p>"With D'Angelo speeding away from that shack, I have to call you a liar again." He said with a wry grin. Lydia was liking this man less and less with each passing second.</p><p>"Tell me something King, did you off yourself because you came to realize that you couldn't even deal with yourself?"</p><p>"Eh. It was kind of a dead-end scenario for me. Lost my job, caught my wife with the mailman, and my dog got hit by a car. You know how it is."</p><p>"So the deciding factor of your demise was the loss of your dog. That's somewhat admirable." She muttered and faced him again. "So what do you know about D'Angelo?"</p><p>"Well, he just got a big promotion I hear, which is rather impressive given that this world is full of slackers, not like there is reason for ambition anyway. The pay is shit no matter what job you take on." He mused making his way closer to the girl. "Enough about him though. I'll ask you again, do you need a job? And no, I don't mean as an escort or whatever. Like I said, I was a reporter on the other side, and I know a photographer when I see one, and being that in my hands a camera may as well be an expensive paperweight and only stories that make it down here are ones that include pictures, if wanted a job... I could get you a good gig with the paper."</p><p>Lydia held her breath for a moment. It was next to impossible to get a decent job out of high school, yet within the first day or so of arriving to the dead realm she was offered her dream job. Was this heaven?</p><p>"What's the catch?" She asked shifting her eyes to a reporter.</p><p>"Well I've never seen anyone really willing of The Beetle's company, and I've interviewed everybody who's somebody down here except for him-" but Lydia was shaking her head and turned on her heel to shut out the vulture's question before it could be asked fully.</p><p>"Who cares?!" She shot back over her shoulder. "He's just a perverted stiff who only cares for himself!"</p><p>"That might be true,” King started as he followed her. "But he is also the only stiff I know of down here that landed himself down here with killing himself." This made Lydia stop.</p><p>"What did you say?"</p><p>"Yea! You didn't know that?! Well Shit, I mean you did just roll in. But the guy is one of the longest know residents here, and from what I can see there is no record on him ACTUALLY killing himself. No noose, no slit throat. There is some bloating which may point to drowning himself but... I have a theory,” King said coming to a halt and looked around in search of any other unwanted ears. “I think he could be a witch."</p><p>"You're kidding me right?" Lydia asked with a laugh as moved past the man again</p><p>"No, I’m Joe King, baby, but I'm serious! Look, I've only been dead for maybe ten years, but a while back he was on trial for harassing the living, but hauntings aren't out of the ordinary. No, he was on trial for trying to make a pact with some living girl, to upset the whole living and the dead deal. For a ghost to be seen is a hard task enough, but to actually take physical form?"</p><p>"Yea, you still sound crazy to me," Lydia muttered, actually considering the possibility now but it didn’t fit quite right. She could make contact with Adam and Barbara… Only after Beetlejuice came onto the scene though. </p><p>"Well, 'Audrey', you're dead, I'm dead, yet here we are having a conversation. Does a witch sound all that crazy?" Lydia blinked at the response. He had a point, though he was wrong. She wasn't dead, but she could still talk to the dead. Maybe Beetlejuice having some magic properties wasn't out of question. After all, he was 'the ghost with the most'.</p><p>"I can’t help you Mr. King, I've actually already been offered a job, helping with the dead cases." She began not wanting to prolong the conversation. She had to admit that he was a good sleuth, and if he caught on that she didn't fit in here… She could just shudder at the consequence.</p><p>Alex produced a business card and handed it to her.</p><p>"If you change your mind. That's where you can find me. I hope to see you around ‘Audrey’." He muttered before making his way down the nearby alley.</p><p>Lydia waited until the ghoul was out of sight before she turned to make her way for Juno's office, only to bump into a pair of largely built men.</p><p>"Audrey, that is the name of the girl we are looking for, is it not brother?"</p><p>"Da! Mister D'Angelo wishes for her presence."</p><p>Lydia recognized their voices from earlier, but she hadn’t a clue the brutes who attacked Beetlejuice were so massive. Lydia attempted to skirt around the pair but without warning she was swept up by one of the men and dragged towards an old mobster car, kicking and screaming the whole way.</p><p>"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" Lydia shouted in protest.</p><p>"Our boss wants to see you, Miss Dean," said the one who carried her to the rear door and flung it open. Suicide doors, of course, this would be a vehicle standard down here. </p><p>"Well if he wanted to see me so badly he could have just come by the office," She lied. "And now I'm going to be late for my shift."</p><p>The pair chuckled tossing her into the back, locking her in.</p><p>"Oh don't worry about that, Miss Dean."</p><p>"Da, you've been fired!"</p><p>"Fired? What do you mean I've been fired?!" She exclaimed glaring at the two as they entered the front seats.</p><p>"For not showing up for your shift!" The twin who took the driver seat said looking over his shoulder.</p><p>"And for lying about who you are!" Chimed in the twin. "Naughty Madchen!" He teased happily.</p><p>"Mister D'Angelo is very disappointed..." The driver said in a mockingly sulk tone and grinned. "I hope he lets us punish you."</p><p>"Da." Came the passenger. "Me too. But Mister D'Angelo still wants to talk to you. Thinks you still have value."</p><p>Lydia feared the worst. Her first instinct was to escape the death cab by any means necessary. Pulling the handle while kicking the door accomplished nothing but upset her captors.</p><p>"The boss won't like it if she wrecks the car, Nikon." Came the driver, clearly disgruntled by the girl's furious thrashing.</p><p>"Da. Tying her up is what I must do, Spartak." Came the passenger as he searched the glove compartment for something to bind the girl's limbs but there was nothing but a cob web, an old six-shooter and an unpaid fine.</p><p>Lydia froze seeing the gun, not out of fear of fire arms, but what they could lead to. If she was shot, would the same laws apply here as they did in the living realm to her? Could she be killed here, and if so what would happen to her soul? She didn't know, and more so, she wasn't willing to risk it.</p><p>Settling down Lydia began to contemplate on all the scenarios on hand.</p><p>
  <strong> Walter D'Angelo knew she was not who she said she was. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> He still wanted to see her, but her role to him was unknown. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Her captors were more than pleased with the thought of delivering a punishment to her. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> It had just hit her that the so-called reporter's name was 'Joking' and he may have very well of been a snitch or scout for the Mobster, but the handing of a business card wasn’t common for snitches, was it? </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> And last but not least, her only hope now was a certain dead man who had pretty much told her to fuck off when it came to this particular threat. </strong>
</p><p>The car slowly came to a halt and looking out the window expecting to see the city streets where witnesses were sure to be plenty, her stomach plummeted at the sight of warehouses. A sign nailed to a post read 'Davey Jones Docks'. The sign littered with rust from the salty air. She could already feel the cement. Then again, she preferred the fate of drowning over other things. That’s how Adam and Barbara met their end. </p><p>She was stirred from her thoughts by the door opening and a large burly hand pulling her from the white leather seats. Lydia struggled against the Russian bodybuilder, but the fight was futile and became even more hopeless when her other arm was seized by the mirror image of the man to her right.</p><p>She cursed and kicked, threatened and pulled, but no amount of words or strength from her would keep the men from dragging her into warehouse number four.</p><p>It was dark. A single light was on in what seemed to be the center of the building. Beneath that light sat an array of items.</p><p>
  <strong> A wooden chair that had seen better days </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> A pile of rope </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> A pair of pliers </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Scissors </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> One very fat, very pissed off man </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> A lit cigar between his thin lips . </strong>
</p><p>"Have a seat, Miss Dean" D'Angelo's voice mocked.</p><p>Her efforts in escaping had doubled but of course, they were not enough. The twins took to putting her into the chair. Nikon held her in place, as Spartak began to process of tying her down. Wrists bound to the armrests, ankles to the legs, a final tie around her waist, the knot made on the back of the chair.</p><p>"You boys go wait outside for now." At this order the two did not argue, but it was clear they hungered to stay, starved for entertainment.</p><p>"Well?! What are you waiting for? Get outta here!" He barked now. A scoff came from Spartak, but no other retort was made as the two vanished into the darkness. Their departure was complete upon the sound of the side door slamming shut.</p><p>"Finally! Some alone time..." The man practically purred as he removed his pinstriped jacket and draped it on the back of the chair she was tied to. Lydia took in a faint hint of lavender as Walter made his way around the chair and faced her again. "You are a hard woman to find, but of course, if you weren't a lying harlot I may have found you sooner."</p><p>Lydia glared at him as he began to roll up his white sleeves. Her silence was deafening to him. He grinned, his canines poking out.</p><p>"Most people in your position usually start begging right about now," the mobster beamed.</p><p>"Well most people in this joint are afraid of you, but I'm not like most people here." She spat. It wasn't a complete lie. She wasn’t like most people in the Neitherworld because she was still alive, but she was most certainly terrified now.</p><p>"I like that in a lady, a little bit of fight keeps a relationship interesting," D'Angelo said, still wearing his grin as he took another puff from his cigar. "Question is though. How long can you keep that fight?" He asked before he took a hold of her left hand by the fingers, squeezing them tightly and brought the burning head of it upon the porcelain flesh of her wrist.</p><p>Though Lydia had portrayed the role of a tortured soul though out her adolescent life, she only had three moments of true pain before this day.</p><p>
  <strong> 1. The death of her mother. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> 2. Being pushed down two flights of stairs. She had to go to the ER for a dislocated knee along with a few other minor injuries. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> 3. The departing of Adam and Barbara. </strong>
</p><p>She howled in pain, trying to pry herself away but she only succeeded in giving the flame more ground to burn. Tears were forced from her eyes and they continued on out even after the cigar was pulled away.</p><p>Lydia hung her head wanting nothing more than to hide from the man and his eyes which burned into her like his cigar. She bit at her tongue in an attempt to stop herself from crying but tears continued to slip out without her approval.</p><p>“Oh did I break you already Miss Dean?” The gangster asked, feigning sympathy as his hand grasped her chin and forced her eyes to look at his. He was disappointed to see that her fight was snuffed out after a burn. He thought too soon, as she spat in his face, the saliva hitting him just under his right eye. The price of victory was a swift backhand.</p><p>"My step mother's cooking hits harder than that," Lydia chided. He only grunted.</p><p>"Tell me your name is ... Not that it really matters. I'll find out who you are regardless. I just like to keep tabs on all my hits." He said stepping back and wiping the spit from his face with a white handkerchief.</p><p>"Does your mother know you beat up women? I'm sure she raised you better than that," She muttered, recalling the conversation Walter and Beetlejuice had earlier. Unsurprisingly, the quip earned her another slap, followed by a forceful hand on her jaw.</p><p>"You might have actually liked my mother. She was a lying whore too. Slept around with so many men she made herself a title. Floozy Susie." Walter growled shoving her face away with enough force that the chair rocked. "It pains me though. You seemed like such an innocent broad. Someone you could be proud to show around town." He gave a shrug followed by a sigh. "I’ll admit, I was a little torn at my choices for you. I considered giving you to the Russians, and I may still do that, but for all I know your into the rough stuff. After all, how could a good woman just give herself to a man like that despicable Beetle?" He asked, dropping the flesh scented cigar and snuffed it out with his foot.</p><p>The statement seemed to confirm Lydia's suspicion of King's intentions.</p><p>"Now I'll ask you again," D'Angelo spoke softly now, leaning over, grabbing the pliers by his foot. "What is your name?"</p><p>"It doesn't matter," She replied, glaring at him.</p><p>"Oh... Doesn't it?" He asked reaching for her left and, putting pressure on her fresh wound with his thumb seizing a whimper from his victim.</p><p>"You'll still do what you want!" She spat in pain glaring at him. It was her eyes that burned into him now. She had seen enough horror films to know that even when the damsel gave in to the mad scientist's interrogation, she still became a failed experiment, destined to die in the end and unlike the action flicks her father gravitated towards, Lydia wasn’t the love interest of some Bruce Willis-esque macho hero. She had a selfish deadbeat looking to live again, not to risk his afterlife. Tightening her eyes shut Lydia took in a deep breath. "So if you are going to do your worst, just do it already!"</p><p>The seconds felt like an eternity. The mobster finally released her hand and stood up, retrieving his jacket from the floor. Lydia didn't dare to show a sign of relief, her eyes still pulled tight.</p><p>"I'm not finished with you," Walter warned as he made his way for the door, the sound of his heels trailing behind him. She didn't make a sound until she heard the door close behind him, to which she began to cry, fear taking over completely.</p><p>Outside the men could faintly hear the young woman's cries, to which the Russians replied with satisfied grins. D'Angelo however was as sour as ever.</p><p>"I'm going to see if the boys back at the office can pull anything up from the past few weeks that we might have missed. Who knows, maybe this broad is just some tragic dead before her time and is treating the joint like it’s holiday or something,” the mobster mused as he began to walk off. “One of you stay here, the other can go grab that bum. He might have the answer I'm looking for, and I need to teach him a lesson about taking what is mine..."</p><p>Two questions came now from the pair, one question apiece. 'Who stays with the girl?' and 'What bum?'</p><p>"I don't give a shit which one of you sticks around, and which one of you get the bum, and I can't believe I have to still spell this out too you twos,” Walter groaned turning to face the warehouse again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The Beetle. Bring me The Beetle! I'll be back later, and don't you dare let me catch either of you with her. I may know a pimp who could break her in for some work. Pretty ones are a rarity and get a decent return rate too,” Walter said and walked off the dock, heading back to the city streets.</p><p>Now the twins were left to figure out what to do. Neither one wanted to volunteer for retrieving The Beetle, while the other could remain with the helpless female.</p><p>A coin toss would not suffice for this debate, nor would a fistfight. They were far too stubborn and much too anxious to think about letting the other stay. However, the two were not thinking about exploiting their prisoner. It had just been so long since the pair had been in a position to bring harm to a woman.</p><p>There was a thrill in it. Not so much sexual gratification, or making them feel more like men, but it was treated more like a delicacy. So often they were used to the sounds men would make as their fists collided with their bodies, how heavy their bodies felt when they went limp, the scent of their blood.</p><p>Did a woman's blood smell sweeter? Would she grunt like a man, or would she scream or whimper? Was her frail form a better target? Would she beg like a cowardly man, or be as fearless as the boldest men? Where the men they butchered could be unraveled with a few good hits, women were always a surprise. </p><p>"What if we called him to us?" Nikon began. "I heard rumor that The Beetle must come when his name is called. That's why we call him The Beetle instead."</p><p>Spartak pondered on this fact for several moments. "Call Beetle to us? Might be a good idea brother."</p><p>"Da! We can both part take in a beating, then bring The Beetle to us!"</p><p>The brothers had reached an agreement. They knew that their employer might not be pleased with their thought process, but as long as the job was done, he'd be satisfied enough. The wounds they would make would heal in time, and if anything at all they would make the pimp’s job easier for him.</p><p>Lydia was slumped in her seat when the men entered the warehouse. Her eyes met theirs and she understood immediately that her weather forecast was not looking too good. She also knew that there was no point in reasoning with them, it was clear the two were set on their decision since the car ride over. Maybe even before then.</p><p>Spartak brought out a pocket knife and made quick work of the rope. Lydia made an attempt for the door but was caught by Nikon after only a few bounds and was sent to the floor, scraping her palms and knees on the floorboards, long with a splinter or two. With the adrenaline kicking in, she pushed herself to get up only to run right into Spartak's arms.</p><p>The Russian grinned searching her dark, terrified eyes. With Walter, there was a purpose to his violence, he was looking for answers. This beating would hold no purpose other than sheer pleasure.</p><p>"Please," Lydia stammered as she wriggled against the hold. "You don’t have to do this." Begging wasn’t something that Lydia wanted to do, on some level she even hated having to do it, but it was a survival tactic.</p><p>There was a mixed reaction for the twins. Spartak, was enraged at the plea. It was weak. Pathetic. Meanwhile, Nikon found it to be music to his ears. Her voice was soft, not ragged or rough.</p><p>In his rage, Spartak would be the one to deliver the first blow. A swift undercut to her gut, knocking the wind from Lydia’s lungs. Lydia dropped down to her knees as she wrapped her arms around her own ribcage gasping for air like a fish out of water, but like the same proverbial fish, the relief of oxygen wouldn’t come to her lungs. </p><p>Nikon now made his strike on their prey. Crouching down to her level, the man gave her a push to put her on her back and then proceeded then to straddle her Pinned to the floor and still fighting for air, Lydia struggled to break free from her fate. Balling her pale hands into fists, she began to pound them into her attacker's chest. The twins smiled a laughed at the pathetic attempt of self-preservation.</p><p>With his right hand, Nikon took ahold of both of her fists and pinned them above her head. Her lower half now began flail in panic. With his good hand occupied with holding Lydia's hands, his left hand, now a fist began to make contact with Lydia’s body, the blows mainly focused upon her face.</p><p>Her cheekbone received the brunt of the hits, however, his left hand was not as skilled in the art of combat and was unstable, and his punches would stray from the intended target area, ending up towards her lips or eye a few to the chest as well. Tears now at full stream, and with air back in her lungs she was at a half the capacity to scream, but still made no attempt at it.</p><p>"Brother, get up. I wish to break something of hers," Spartak called as he cracked his knuckles. Nikon, grinned and nodded but didn't leave her until delivering a final blow to her brow, splitting it open.</p><p>Lydia was past the point of retreating, her right eye nearly welded shut, and she hadn't begged for the pain to stop since it began, her lip spilling a bit of blood as well now.</p><p>"Now little kitten," Spartak began, seeing her in this state he was far more likely to give in to his more primal desires, but he had to finish the job first. "What shall I break? Your ankle, so you cannot run or your hands so that you won't hit?" He purred grabbing her by the collar of her dress and lifted her to her feet, dropping her into her chair once more.</p><p>"Maybe a few ribs, or both your knee caps. I would say your jaw, but the boss may still want you to talk…" He said grinning at her, only inches from her face. "What will it be kitty?"</p><p>Lydia lolled her head up to the side, her skull felt as though it were on fire, while the rest of her body seemed to be in the process of trying to heal, unaware that such a task now was pointless. Her good eye met Spartak's. She remained silent for a moment, collecting her thoughts, not as to what would be the best bone to break, but how to get one last good hit before she could clock out for the night. No, this would most likely be her time to check out completely. These two might be holding back, but it was like pitting a chihuahua against two bull elephants.</p><p>"I'm waiting, kitty! Ankle or ribs? What will it be, Kitty?" Spartak asked impatiently bringing her closer to his face. Her response came in the form of bloodied saliva, which was splattered all over the Russian’s face.</p><p>"Fuck you... And DON'T call me kitty." Lydia hissed, knowing she had only made things worse for herself, but what was the point of the pain anyway? At least she could say she earned some part of this attack. And earn it she did.</p><p>Wiping his face clean with his hand, the brute growled. In one swift movement he took both his hands to her right ankle, still in her boot, and twisted it, a sharp snapping sound erupted her bones, and her voice exploded into a full-fledged scream.</p><p>The man didn’t stop with his hands. From there he grabbed Lydia by her torso and threw her into the chair she was previously tied too, crashed to the floor. In a feeble attempt to protect herself from further damage, Lydia curled herself up as tight as she could, but no matter how small she made herself that couldn't save her from Spartak's rage. He began to kick and stomp at her form, no longer caring what she was needed for if anything at all. He couldn't hear her cries nor see her crumpling beneath his heel. The brute only saw the color red, but Nikon heard the sound of Lydia's bones threatening to break once more and he pried his twin from the girl only for the sake of saving both their heads from their boss's threats.</p><p>Though they did not know that Lydia was still a living soul, it was a common fact that wounds received in the Neitherworld took twice as long to heal than one received in the world of the living, otherwise, he would have let his brother continue on. The only way to really kill a soul was a trip to Saturn or to be thrown in the closet, but the soul could be placed out of commission, even placed into temporary comatose states. A lot of new deadbeats would try killing themselves again only to wake a few days later.</p><p>"Spartak, brother, we still need to bring The Beetle, we can continue to thrash her later, da?" He persuaded with the best of his abilities but it was in vain.</p><p>"Niet! I wish to crush her now!" He growled.</p><p>"Da, da. Yes, brother! But we can beat The Beetle for a while until Mister D'Angelo comes back! Then maybe you can do more than beat her, da?"</p><p>Spartak had to think on his brother's words. There had been incidents in the past where they would do more than beat up men who owed D'Angelo money, but take out what was due from the debt owner's sweetie if they had one. Only Spartak and Nikon were granted this privilege if the lover was less than pretty, and the girl balled up on the floor was past being 'pretty'.</p><p>Her right side of her face was already bruising to a nice yellow, her eye a deep shade of blue, shut tight. Both her brow and lip was cracked, along with a few rips. A betting man would also say that her petite hourglass form would be littered with welts after the last stretch of the beating. Then there was the matter of the broken ankle.</p><p>"Da. You are right brother, we should finish our work, and continue to play with the kitty later," Spartak muttered looking over the nearly unconscious girl now. "Now how do we get The Beetle to come to us?"</p><p>"We call his name, three time, and he will come!" Nikon said, pleased with himself for knowing something that his brother did not.</p><p>"Ah. And what is his name?" Spartak asked.</p><p>"It's BeetleBeetle!"</p><p>"Niet! That is not it!"</p><p>"Ah, then what do you think it is, Spartak?"</p><p>"Not BeetleBeetle! Maybe Beetle Man, or BeetleShit."</p><p>"Idiots-" came Lydia's voice, cracking from her hoarse cries. The two looked over to see that the girl had draped herself over the broken chair, though she managed to hide the rusty pair of scissors from their sight. She had managed to acquire it while they were arguing. "It's Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, you dumb fucks..." she spat before slumping herself down once more to catch herself, she wasn’t sure if she wanted his name to be the last thing that came from her lips but it had to be said three times, that was the rule. “Beetlejuice,” Lydia rasped.</p><p>Spartak cursed something in his native tongue and was made his way back over to Lydia to deliver another beating, considering breaking her jaw or even tearing out her tongue. </p><p>"Beetlejuice?" Whispered Nikon in confusion, unaware of the apparition forming behind him nor the hell that it would unleash.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Black and White with Red All Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lydia Deetz waited for the killing blow to be delivered, but she wasn’t going to go without one last good hit herself. When she was sent flying into the chair she was tied to she came across the pair of scissors that Walter had laid out. Lydia didn’t know what their original purpose was meant for, but she knew of a few good places she could store them. She gripped on the pair of cutting blades with all her might, knowing fully well she hadn't a chance with the large brute, but she would be damned if she didn’t take one of his eyes with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spartak now towering over her soon to be corpse, raised his fist high in the air. In his youth, he was a wrestler, and this was his finishing move. 'The Molotok' he called it. He was prepared to drive all 280 pounds of him into the girl’s head when Nikon, cloaked in darkness, let out a blood-curdling scream, catching both Lydia and Spartak off guard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ni-Nikon?!" He called in confusion, but only silence replied. The Russian growled. "Brother? Knock it off!” Spartak called out, a tint of fear in his voice. “... Brother?” He asked once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly several black and white tentacles shot out of the shadows and one was tightly coiled around the Russian's arm. Panic set in as two more tentacles wrapped around the man's legs pulling him to the floor. Screaming and clawing at the ground with his free arm, Spartak’s fingernails dragged through the wooden floor. Lydia watched as Spartak was pulled into the black abyss and out of what sight she had left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unlike Nikon, his screams were not silenced. On the contrary, it felt like the man was screaming for an eternity to Lydia. She heard him beg for his life in his native tongue, as the sound of flesh being torn filled the background. Lydia gripped the scissors in her hand, now tightly held against her chest as she waited for the cacophony of horror to cease, or for her own heart to give out first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the cries of pain finally died down, Lydia could hear her own heart race inside of her chest, followed by the sound of footsteps that echoed through the warehouse. Lydia shut her eyes tight, tighter than her hold on the scissors now held by both of her hands. She suppressed a whimper as the footstep drew closer, a single tear escaping from her left eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closer and closer came the footsteps, until they were right on top of her. She did her best to stop shaking, but it was really all she could do. A loud thump came right before her, making her gasp, but still, she refused to open her eyes. A hand came up to brush over the fresh tear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Babes, look at me," came the gruff voice of the man she had called three times. She continued to keep her eyes sewed tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia, come on. Please open up?" This time the voice was softer, still rough, but it carried a tender note. Like he actually cared. Lydia didn’t trust the concern, nor did she care for it. If he gave a damn he would have helped her when she asked, not just when she called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Lydia pried open her left eye, her right still unable to open. Her vision was blurred by tears, but she already knew who it was. She just wasn’t sure if she could look at him now, out of her own frustration, fear, along with her depleting energy. The adrenaline was quickly wearing off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice sat on his haunches as he looked over the girl. She looked like hell, and not in a good way either. He didn’t know what Lydia said to get a beating like this- but he knew she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve half the shit that she got, but there wasn’t any changing it now. His right hand still cupping her face, his thumb unconsciously stroking the area where the tear pooled up but the salty liquid was long sucked up by his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lyds... Why didn't you call me sooner? Before this?" Asked the ghost, his voice sounded pained yet all the girl could do was smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because you didn't want to come in the first place," Lydia reminded him, her one eye looking over the dead man before her. Wearing his infamous suit, it was covered in blackish liquid. Or at least it looked black. In fact, the room didn't carry much color. The only thing that stood out for Lydia were those damn eyes of his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The poltergeist cursed his name and brought his other hand to her face, congealed blood staining her cheek as she leaned into the hold a little more. He knew he should have gone after her. The moment she left his place he knew he should have gone for her. But he didn't. He wanted to make a point. That she needed him more than he needed her. Had he known that this was the price of his victory he would have cuffed her to the damn radiator, the bedpost, to his own damn wrist to keep her from this. Yeah, the little bird was just his meal ticket at the end of the day, but she was still something else too. She managed to stay on his mind longer than any being occupied his thoughts. His thoughts on her weren’t always kind, but damn he couldn’t get her out of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia, can you stand up?" He asked, but her gaze was going out into oblivion. "Lydia?" He asked again, his hands moving to her shoulders, shaking her gently. "Babes, stay with me!" He growled, panic setting in for him. He hadn't a clue if she could die here. Those two Rusian bastards were still kicking, they were just disassembled. But of course, they were dead to begin with. Lydia’s heart was still ticking, blood still flowing with air still in her lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm really tired B…" Lydia muttered as her left eyelid began to shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't sleep babes, not yet. Can you walk?" Beetlejuice coaxed. If she was moving, she'd be forced to stay awake but the request was out of the question. The young woman before him shook her head, a weak limp of her hand pointed at her feet and his eyes followed to her boots. Everything waist down looked fine to him, but he had to wonder where else those brutes put their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My ankle. I’m pretty sure they broke it,” Lydia said, her eye open again and was looking at him. Fear and pain was all she knew in this moment. "Am I going to die?" She asked, her tone pitched to express fear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer be damned. From the moment the ghost met the girl fear of death was never present in her. Hell, she had always been looking for a way in, but he couldn’t blame her for not being eager about departing now. Dying in warehouse number four was far from the poetry of Poe and closer to a snuff flick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? Oh! No! No, no, no, babes! You're gonna be just fine, you’ll be as right as trickle down economics,” the ghost said in confidence, though he wasn't sure if he was lying to himself now. "We are going to get you out of here, fix you up and celebrate over some Bloody Mary’s, won’t that be nice?” He asked. If she couldn’t walk he would just have to keep her talking. He placed his arms around her, one underneath her leg as the other hooked around her back. Once he moved to lift her off the ground, Lydia began to wail in agony, to which the ghost could try to hush her with his own voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know it hurts Babes, but that just means you're alive..." He whispered trying to comfort the girl who was curling in closer to his chest, seeking warmth that had been extinguished for a couple of centuries.  As he stood to his full height he looked over to the shadows slightly wishing he had taken more time with the bastards but Lydia’s time was far more valuable at the moment and he made his way for the door. Walking out of the warehouse, the ghoul’s eyes glanced at the streets around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had but two options. He could bring the girl back to the living, drop her off in an ER where she would either survive, die and pass on to the next stage whatever that would be or one of the suckers would take her soul before she even had a fighting chance. Chances were that the closet hadn’t been sealed yet and those damned souls were still on the loose, but he couldn’t say for sure. Beetlejuice only knew that he didn’t like the odds for Lydia who had enough torment for this lifetime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His second option was to bring her to a hospital here. The risk was that if she died, he had no clue what would come of her soul. This route also posed the risk, or more so fact, that the medical deadbeats would pick up that she wasn't dead. And Walter would be on them like flies on shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Didn't matter which way he looked at it, they were boned regardless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except there was a third option. But he couldn't go to </span>
  <b>HER</b>
  <span>, could he? What other choice did he have, other than the two already presented? Both of which had a less than pleasing outcome. His eyes cast down to his former, and still hopeful bride. She was fighting a losing battle, struggling to keep her eye open, her chest hardly rising and only wanting to collapse upon her frame. Worse still, she felt cold in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Beej? I'm just going to rest for a bit." She murmured, which made him rock her whole body violently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey now! You can't just quit on me here!" He growled. He felt like he was watching the sand in her hourglass go down to the last few grains. "You gotta stay awake and keep me company! Come on, tell me something nasty, or something nice, whatever it is you don’t want me to hear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so tired," Lydia responded. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but Lydia wasn’t talking to him, she was just stating the obvious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't care!" He snapped moving his feet now. He could teleport, even bring her along for the ride, but in her current state she would go into shock. He looked to the now unresponsive girl in his arms. "Babes? Babes, wake up now." He ordered shaking her whole body, which was limp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia! Wake up for fuck's sake!" He shouted as he jumped. Nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cursing he dropped to his knees and laid her down on the pavement to check her vitals. She was breathing, but her pulse was faint at best. His choices narrowed down to a single contender. He had to see HER. Now. Gripping onto Lydia's shoulder he concentrated on where they had to be and the pair vanished without a trace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not long after the pair's vanishing act that Walter returned to the docks, looking as happy as a pig in shit. His team back at the office finally got their act together to find that Miss Audrey Dean was none other than the little nightingale that the Beetle was visiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Opening the door to the warehouse the portly man grinned, his speech already prepared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh Lydia! Are you ready to talk now?" He beamed happily to the dark warehouse, looking to the only lit area to see the abandoned chair on the floor. Frowning, the man glanced around the seemingly abandoned warehouse. He could have sworn he heard something moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Boys?! Where are you?" He called for his Russian hitmen. It sounded like something was rapping against the wooden floor. “I swear on that Kremlin of yours, if you two so much as laid a finger on Miss Deetz I’ll murder your second life!” Walter threatened. Waiting for a response to come when he was only met with silence he began grumbling profanities under his breath. Walter D'Angelo took a step to the side, his hand trying to find the light switch for the whole place. Once his fingers found the switch, he smiled at the small win and flipped the switch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes went wide in horror at the sight before him. It was a bloodbath. Body parts scattered about the joint. Moving towards the center of the massacre his eyes moved to the ceiling to see a set of intestines and other innards hanging from the ceiling. His sight went back to the floor, just in time to step over a fully intact spinal cord, no flesh. He shivered in response, at the sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Body parts began to twitch and flail around him when he spotted a head, its face on the floor. With some reluctance, D'Angelo crouched to pick up the bloody mass, his fingers lacing into the fine mid length blond hair, now dyed a deep red. He reminded himself that he should start making a habit of wearing gloves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking to the eyes of his Russian strongman, it was hard to say which of the two this was. It was even harder for the man in his hand to give him an answer. His jaw nearly torn away from the skull and the tongue was missing. However his eyes were still very much intact. Showing a mix of relief and pain. Pain was the stronger of the two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Screaming in rage, the mobster threw the severed head to the other side of the warehouse and began to kick at the other parts around him. He was so close! He had her! Had her right under his nose on more than one occasion! And now she was gone! Did she do this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course she didn't. How could she? She was just a living girl stuck in the realm of the dead. He knew who was responsible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wouldn't dare confront him. No. Not if he was capable of this! Running his bloody hand through his hair, Walter thought of how to handle the problem at hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia was a living girl, in the Neitherworld. That was at least fifty violations right there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Beetle had her, or at least, he presumed he had her. Which meant another dozen violations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was also the matter of Juno. She must have known who that girl was from the start of it all! Oh he would make her pay. Withholding that kind of information was enough to be sent to Saturn! Which is what would have to be done for The Beetle. But now it was just a matter of finding him, and hoping he would have Lydia with him as well. Or better yet have her dead… But that made him wonder what were the consequences of a living person dying in the Neitherworld. Where would their soul go? If it just made her a permanent resident then she would be a witness to his violations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed that this was a waiting game, but he couldn’t wait too long. He had to hope that the two run back to the realm of the living, and then she could be dealt with properly. So long as the two didn’t tie the knot all would be well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walter sighed heavily, calming a bit after formulating the start of a plan. He felt better about the situation but now he needed new grunts. He had a few people in mind, but he already knew the first task for the new hires.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clean up this fucking mess. His boys were nothing but worm bait now.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Trials and Errors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Betelgeuse arrived outside of a worn down shack on the outskirts of the city of the realm, Lydia's form slumped in his arms. He moved to give the door a solid kick with his boot, but the door swung just before it could collide with it, nearly throwing him off balance, but certainly off guard. No one was in the doorway, but it was clear there was a presence in the less than homey place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Making his way in, the wooden door closed behind him. He didn't observe his surroundings, his gaze solely focused on the back of a Victorian style chair placed before a lit fireplace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again." Came a voice of what sounded like a woman chain smoker. The person called from the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did," Beetlejuice replied without hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then why are you here?!" The voice snapped, the fire burning brighter at the sound of her response. The man didn't jump, nor flinch, he merely cast his gaze to the floor. Guilt seemed to consume his dark eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need your help." He muttered, which brought on laughter from the figure in the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh! You need my help. Now isn't that a joke if I ever did hear one!" The voice spat in laughter, only for it to end in a coughing fit, furthering the look of guilt on the man's face. "Get out of here before I throw you in a lake!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly coughs were emitted from Lydia, and fire died down to a simmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who is with you?! I don't want to be seen! You know I don't want to be seen by others!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Her name is Lydia, she's- she's a mortal. She's on her last leg, and I ain't sure what would happen to her if she clocks out here..." He whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence filled the air now, with the exception of the sound of the embers crackling in the fireplace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why is she here? On this side?" The voice asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I brought her here," The man replied, not moving from his spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"WHY IS SHE HERE?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because she would have held a fate worse than death if I didn't. And I… I fucked up okay?! I let her out of my sight, and I should have stayed with her but I didn't. I failed you, and if you don't help her I'll have failed her too, so do me this one thing, will ya, please?!" The ghost all but begged, which emitted another laughing fit from the voice followed by coughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You expect my help, after what you've done? You left me for dead! And after everything I had done for you! Ungrateful little-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In the end they got me too-" Betelgeuse interjected, a scoff came from the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were let off easy, those fools, testing out their hysteric theories in such barbaric methods." The voice spat again. "But I would take your death over mine. Arrogant boy. Letting your own mother burn at the stake, not even having the decency to watch either." The woman spat now peeking out from her seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was only charred remains. A crusty shell of what was once a human, no eyes were in her sockets, only black pits. The abyss stared at him and Betelgeuse stared right back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now why should I help you?" She growled, causing the ghost to glance down the rotted floor boards in shame once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you won't help me, fine, I get it." He muttered. "But if you won't do it for me, then do it for her. She's a good kid, and like we were persecuted without reason, so is she. She's got some sort of sight, a medium I guess, and a damn good one too." Betelgeuse reasoned in hopes of getting aid, but he was shot down before he could finish his bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should have paid more attention when I tried teaching you the healing arts, instead of pulling your useless pranks," the burnt woman replied, turning her attention back to the flames once more. "Be gone with you!" But the man did not do as she wished, instead placing himself before her, kneeling before her, he presented Lydia's mangled body to her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mother, I cannot blame you for not helping me, and sure, I understand for you not wanting to help her, but you should still do this." The flames rising behind him, threatening to consume him as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And why should I?" She seethed, her eyeless pits boring in his general direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because it's what you would have done before you came here." He claimed calmly, the comment taking the woman by surprise. "You helped everyone who came to your aid, whether or not they could afford your services. You helped others because you cared, it was your passion, and you were really fucking good at it!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Language!" The woman said with a grim face, though all of her looked rather grim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, but it's the truth you ol' hag," said the son with a smug grin. The woman seemed to observe the pair before her with great scrutiny. While she couldn’t see the two, she could feel something in the air. After a few moments of contemplation a sigh of reluctance came from the crispy being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You always were good when it came to manipulation, Betel" She muttered in defeat and gave a slight nod. "I'll heal her as best as I can, but you'll have to be my eyes." She whispered, the fireplace going to a low blaze once more. "Get her on the table. It'll be a long night, and unfortunately for her, she'll be the one who has to work the hardest."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Juno sat before her peers in the Neitherworld’s court room. Walter D'Angelo sat front and center, to both sides of him were other high members of the Committee, all of them murmuring to one another, all but Walter who eyed Juno with vicious intent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sitting back in her seat with her legs crossed and a cigarette in hand, she waited for the next question to be asked. She stopped checking the time at this point. It was clear that Walter was only doing this to get her out of the picture, not for more evidence on Lydia Deetz.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The news or a living girl wandering about the Neitherworld spread like wildfire. There had been reports of mediums making contact with beings of this realm, but this was more than wavelengths. This was full on contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Juno, is it not true that you worked on the Maitland's case?" The question came from a middle aged man with brown hair and brown eyes. Really quite average, with the exception gaping holes in his chest. A shotgun to yourself would do that. Johnathan Keys. He was in charge of The Working Dead Program, ensuring all new residents with job placement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is,” Juno responded curtly. “I gave them consoling on their situation."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In your reports, you gave the name of Deetz as being the Maitland's main issue of being able to settle in the afterlife. Was this Lydia Deetz involved at all?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I believe so." Juno said with a shrug and a drag of her cigarette.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean by that? Either she was, or wasn't." Mr. Keys reiterated but Juno shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My job responsibilities are to only contact the recently deceased and assist them as they adjust to their new lifestyle, not to contact the living, regardless if they are living with them." Juno replied, tapping the cigarette to get rid of the ashes building up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you never saw the Deetz family?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Correct. I made a house call once, but none of the family members were present when I made the trip, which is stated in that report."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you did recently meet this Lydia. She was spotted in your section. Why was she there? Because claims have been made that she admitted to work for your department," questioned a woman by the name of Helen Markowitz. She was a special case here. Her suicide was an accident due an error with her medication. She headed the Nietherworld's Health board. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, that assumption was first made by D'Angelo." She started, eyeing him as she began. "My division is at full capacity, so even if I did want to hire a walk in I would have to turn them away,” Juno said evading the actual question. "I couldn't even ask the girl for her reason thanks to D'Angelo. And his perversion was probably what drove her out of my office. She was out only moments after his departure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now all eyes were on Walter. Few things were tolerated here, but sexual harassment was not one of those items. It was actually a big reason why Beetlejuice knew the layout of this room right down to the cracks in the tiles. Walter cleared his throat as he leaned forward to engage Juno again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's get back on track here, we can discuss the actual events la-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now Walter, can you remind me why you came into my office? Oh wait, I remember now! It was because your operation to get rid of Beetlejuice had failed, and I think I remember hearing something of you confirming the elimination of a living soul, in this operation." She said, finishing off her cigarette, jamming the remains into the dish beside her. "If anyone should be interrogated right now, it should be you Walter. Your reckless actions caused this whole mess in the first place,” Juno said in annoyance. "I've answered more than enough questions I think, and I really do need to get back to my job. I've got a whole bus load of kids tearing apart my office because the driver went off the deep end!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We understand your annoyance, Juno, right now we are just trying to get all the facts on this girl before we proceed any further. We have to contain this before it gets any bigger,” stated Mr.Keys. “After all, who knows what else she is capable of? We need to get this contained as early as possible. Would you have any idea where she is, or perhaps where Beetle might be? Above all else it's important to keep the two separated, in case they try to form a union."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But if they form a union on this side, won't that lock them in the realm forever?" The question rising from a younger looking man, glass shards embedded in his face. He opted out by means of auto transport. Henry Rollings, representing The Zoning and Developmental Council for his boss, who didn't find this matter important enough to take part in. That was the excuse given anyway. Everyone knew that he had a particularly bad experience with Beetlejuice over his property.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, it makes no difference by what side they form the union, according to Minister Cox, poor fellow was summoned to officiate that unholy union. So long as she is still living that would grant the union valid and allow Beetle to cross borders effortlessly, and then all hell could break loose." Came Miss Markowitz. "Which is why it is imperative that we find them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I haven't seen either of them as of late," Juno confessed, seeing that Walter was still eyeing her with suspicion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that the honest truth?" Walter growled, which earned him a menacing glare from Juno.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, Walter, did I or did I not tell you that your plan was a bad idea?" She spat before addressing the rest of the board. "May I go now, please? Before I take a crack at offing myself again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll be contact if we have any more questions, you're free to go Juno," Mr. Keys replied for the board. Juno didn't need to be told twice, vanishing in a puff of smoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the board began to mumble to one another, all except for Walter D'Angelo who looked as though steam was to start pouring from the cavity in his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was really swimming against the current now. If he didn't turn this around quickly he'd have to resign from the position, as well as from the committee as a whole. He only just received the position and he was going to be booted out of the door unless he brought in results. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Catching Lydia and getting rid of Beetlejuice was his only choice if he wanted to remain employed, though he began to doubt even cleaning up the mess he made would save him. He couldn’t afford to lose his job, being on the board was what allowed folks to get on the fast track out of the Neitherworld and onto the next life. He was seeking an early retirement, but now he wondered if he had the wrong plan in mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know what would be worse, Beetle making that union, or if half of the population tries to get in on that plan. There will be riots in the streets!" Muttered a mustached man. Robert Parker, was his name, and he was the Commissioner of the Niether Realm's Police Department.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well thankfully it's an old law, not too many know of it," Helen Markowitz said in reply as she flipped through the files before her. "Honestly I'm not sure how I feel about this. I know this is trouble, but you can't deny this is extraordinary!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How is that even possible?" Rollings asked, glancing at the supervisors around him. "I mean yeah, here we are but, this is some different shhh- stuff." He said, catching himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stuff. Yes." Helen retorted before looking to D'Angelo. "So. What actions should we take, Walter?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have a source in one of the papers, I'll have him write a story that will make this look like a hoax. In the meantime I want every available officer out there looking for Beetle and the girl."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What should we do with them once they are apprehended?" The Commissioner asked gruffly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Beetle is to be sent to Saturn, no bail, no trail. He's broken nearly every rule in the books, as well as showing that we need to add in some new ones, I'll have our book worms get on that. As for the girl, I'm not sure how to handle this just yet... Just contact me if you pick up a trail," Walter said as he stood up from his chair. “Anyone associated with that creep can't be up to any good, nor can they be trusted." Walter added. While he did fully support the police department pitching into the case, Walter already had several of his goons looking for the pair. The ghost in question wasn’t seen in any of the usual spots and unlike the last search they checked his place of residence first. "Keep me posted on anything, no matter how trivial it sounds. We need to find them." He snapped, all the board members nodding in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this union was formed, the consequences could be catastrophic. If Lydia was able to speak about her abduction, his career would be on the line. If Beetlejuice got to him before they could bring him in, would his insides be pulled out too? Walter could only wonder and fear the possibilities.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Henry Rollings now looked to Helen. As clueless as everyone seemed to be on this situation, she seemed to be the most knowledgeable on this topic, as well as the most approachable person in this room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happens if she dies in this realm though? Would she pass over, stay here, or what? And what about Saturn?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was certainly the question of the day. He didn’t have a clue if the girl was dead yet, but judging by the state of the warehouse, the girl must have received some attention from Spartak and Nikon. But being that Beetlejuice hadn’t made an attempt to tear him apart yet, Lydia Deetz must be in a stable, or at most critical condition. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Best case scenario in my book, she ends up in the closet,” Walter said as he threw on his coat. “Worst case, her soul sticks around here to give us more grief,” Walter muttered looking to Markowitz. “That Minister fellow, is he available for more questions? Maybe we missed something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Markowitz sighed and nodded as she dug into her purse and took out a notepad, quickly tearing out a page and handed it to Walter. “You can find him at this address. He said that he’d like to help in any way he can. I guess the marriage may have come with some coercion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t say,” Walter muttered as he took the paper and pocketed the information. “Doesn’t shock me all that much that anyone would get cold feet about marrying him, but it’s a bit curious that she’s willing to be around the guy now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Markowitz shrugged her shoulders as she walked past him. “People change I guess,” she suggested without looking back. “Not always for the best but they can change.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walter nodded as his hand felt at the paper in his pocket. Hopefully, certain people wouldn’t change too much. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As some of you may have noticed, the spelling of Beej's name is different in parts of this chapter. My reasoning is kind of from the reason why we see Beetlejuice rather than Betelgeuse in most of the official media- the reason is because people are dumb. Beetlejuice is the name common folks are familiar with *insert who beetle and OJ bit here* and you know it takes most folks a while to learn how to say 'exotic' names correctly, forget asking them how to spell it right. (I am including myself into this pool because I am the butcher of all names and languages.)</p><p>ANYWAY, the name will play a bigger role down the line, and more of our beloved cast of characters will begin to address him properly. I hope to have the next three chapters cleaned up and on AO3 before the weekend is out along with the latest chapter but no promises.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Broken Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lydia awoke with a start, gasping for air as pain shot through her entire body. Her hands began to tap at her body as if she was trying to prove she was solid. That she wasn’t a ghost. Yet. As she pushed her mind past the pain she began piecing her last memories together and how she ended up in the bed she was in. Her eyes searched the room before catching sight of Beetlejuice who was passed out in the chair diagonal from her position and she managed to calm down if only to catch her breath. They weren’t at his place, but they must have been somewhere safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia quietly removed the covers from her and observed her swollen ankle. It didn’t feel broken, but she certainly wouldn’t be running a marathon anytime soon. Swinging her legs to the side, Lydia stood up but succeeded only in taking a single step before she crumpled to the floor like the wooden thumb puppets her grandpa had collected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice couldn’t say if he was awakened by the sudden thud on the floor or the string of curses that came from Lydia but the man was wide awake and already on the girl’s case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jesus, Lyd's, what are you doing?” The man muttered as he got down to her level and helped her to her feet. “You’re a hell of a ringer, I’ll give you that but you shouldn’t be out of bed, witch doctor’s orders,” he grumbled and forced her to sit at the edge of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How long was I out?" Lydia asked, not wanting to make eye contact with him just yet. She was thankful she could open both eyes but she was still upset with him for not coming with her in the first place, but too proud to admit that she needed his help at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not long enough,” Beetlejuice said looking down at the messed up scarecrow before him. “White magic works best when you aren’t fighting it, and we both know you are pretty good at that.” He said trying to get a smile out of the girl but the joke was left unacknowledged. Giving a sigh, Beetlejuice rubbed at the back of his neck. “Kid, you need to rest. Your wounds will heal up better that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't! Not while that creep is out there!" Lydia muttered back in frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well ya ain't going anywhere with that ankle," Beetlejuice grumbled back, resisting the urge to pull out his hair. "Can't you just leave it? You're lucky to be alive as it is. Oh, and you're welcome for that." Lydia sighed at the comment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you." She muttered as she gripped the edge of the mattress. "But I can't just leave this as it is. This guy tried to kill me, I'm not one to hold grudges, but he'll try it again. It won't be over till one of us has our way and if you haven’t noticed I don’t have much to lose." She continued as she bit at her lip as she recalled the scene at the docks. The scent of her skin burning from that cigar hung in the air, or at least within her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well he's got the lead, kid." The ghoul muttered, a newspaper article appearing on her lap. Upon the front page was a photo of her. ‘Fresh Deadbeat Falsely Claims Life After Death’ and the article was written by none other than Joe King. Lydia couldn’t help but snort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And here I thought he was ‘joking’ about his name," She said as her eyes grazed over the libel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's Joey for ya," Beetlejuice said with a shrug as he returned to his chair. "You are officially the Neitherworld's second most wanted."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who's first?" Lydia asked looking up from the newspaper. With a smug grin, the ghost pointed to himself and she shook her head, unable to resist a smirk. “Figures.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What can I say babe? The Ghost with the Most holds the most wanted warrants, unpaid moving violations, and complaints! Among other titles and trophies," Beetlejuice said crossing one of his legs over the other as she shifted the smirk into a smile as a response. The smile died as quickly as it came as Lydia came to grips with her current reality again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's really got me cornered," Lydia whispered as she set the newspaper aside and buried her face into her hands. "I can't go home with those suckers after me, and I can't do shit here either! It's hopeless!" The ghost eyed the girl with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, we could always get married you know," Beetlejuice said as he inspected his fingernails, and shifted his knowing gaze to Lydia who shot him a glare from behind her fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That wouldn't solve anything." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well sure it would babes! That sand in your hourglass would never run out, you could jump from here to Pompeii and still make it back home in time for the six o’clock news and it would really tick off Walter! It solves everything!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No it wouldn't!" Lydia shouted, throwing her hands onto her lap. "I'm fine with the idea of dying, I really am, but I can't handle the fact that Walter will get away with this!" She continued, tears of anger beginning to make themselves known in Lydia’s eyes but she refused to release them. "He unleashed all those fucking reapers just for you and me, but those things… They probably ate hundreds of souls, people who didn't deserve that! And it's my fault!" She shouted, Beetlejuice remained silent and motionless as the woman continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe you are able to continue on with knowledge that your existence will go on while countless others were snuffed out for all eternity. Maybe you can sleep at night knowing that the one responsible for that kind of madness can walk free, but I can’t. No, I have to take him down," Lydia seethed getting to her feet as steadily as she could. "I'm going after him, with or without you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'll die," he whispered watching as she dragged herself across the room. "And Not pleasantly either,” Beetlejuice added while he rose to his feet and took hold of her arm. "You don't stand a chance, not alone and not like this! Last time he had those two dumb giants as his backup, now he'll have a whole crew ready to scramble your brains at his call. This is suicide, Lyds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well unless if you have a better fucking idea how to stop him this is how I'm going out with a bang I guess," Lydia snapped back, doing her best to pull herself from his hold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I told you, marry me! Just hear me out, Lyds."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! You're only thinking about yourself!" Lydia cried out as the man closed the small distance between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'd both get what we want out of it! You and me?! We would be untouchable together!" He started, his grip gentle on her arm as she tried her hardest to pry herself away. "This world and the living one wouldn't be able to tie you down!" The comment made her scoff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They wouldn't be able to tie me down because clearly you want to. And don't you dare make a dirty joke out of that!" She warned, a wry grin already on his face, but he didn't say a word of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look, I ain't thrilled over the whole pledging our eternal souls to one another either. Going to be breaking a lot of hearts in Dante's too but it ain't a bad deal! Immortality with a funky twist on it for you and I'll get to hang out on the other side and cause a little bit of mischief again," the man muttered as his face got dangerously close to Lydia's. "We can work out the details as we go but it could be fun. Besides, like you said before, you got nothing to lose?" He whispered the last part. If Lydia didn't know any better this was the man's odd attempt at seducing her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Betelgeuse," Hissed a voice unfamiliar to Lydia, but judging by the fear in his eyes, Beetlejuice certainly knew the owner of the voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair turned their heads down the hall to see the charred corpse seated in a wheelchair, slowly moving towards them without moving the wheels with her hands. Lydia had seen worse looking deadbeats, but a look of shock still remained, not for the appearance, but for the woman's power over 'the Ghost with the Most.'</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ma' don't do this right now, please! Let me explain!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Betelgeuse!" She snapped again and he released Lydia's hand promptly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Woah! Wait, Stop, listen it's okay between me Lyd's honestly we-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Betelgeuse!" The woman shouted and the ghoul vanished in thin air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where did he go?" Lydia asked, having mixed feelings on the sudden departure. She wasn't happy with Beetlejuice, but he was the closest thing she had to a friend down here. The corpse chuckled and gave a shrug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I sent him off to Saturn for a bit. I'll call him back when he's learned his lesson." She said with what seemed like a smile, flakes of her blackened skin falling from her cheeks. "What is your name, child?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia ma'am."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia. What a beautiful name." She replied, the chair moving forward, squeaks piping from the tires as she rolled closer. "How do you know my son?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He- He's your son?" She asked, astonished. She did hear him call her ‘ma’ but it was still hard to imagine that the ghost who terrorized her family had a family of his own. The dead woman nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, he is. I have come close many times to disowning him, believe me." She said as the wheel chair turned around. "Come now Lydia, we shall sit by the hearth with some fresh catnip tea and you can tell me all about yourself." Lydia obediently followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The short hall opened up to a small room, which held a small fireplace, a worn out coffee table and a pair of Victorian style chairs. As Lydia looked to the fireplace, Beetlejuice's mother maneuvered herself almost effortlessly into one of the chairs before waving a hand to the empty seat beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sit, child, sit." She croaked and once more Lydia obeyed, wincing in pain as she did so. A teapot sat before them with two dainty tea cups. "How do you take your tea?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uhh, with sugar I guess. Thanks," Lydia mumbled, still unsure of her newest predicament. The charred woman gave a nod once more and the teapot began to pour its contents into the pair of cups on its own. A small bowl of sugar cubes and a tray of cookies took place on the table as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me, Lydia, how is it that you came to know my son?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's kind of a long story," Lydia admitted as she prepped her tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Child, I have all the time in the world, this one and the next." Lydia nodded to the response and gave a shy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you do, and I do, but I've heard of Saturn, and I don't want to keep Beetl-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah ah ah! Don't call him back just yet, and fret not for him. He can handle himself just fine…" She cooed, as her hands wrapped around her teacup protectively. "He once spent a month rolling around in those dunes. A chat over some tea won't kill him." Lydia nodded searching for the right place to begin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, it all started back a few years ago, my dad moved us out of the city and into this big house in the sticks." She recalled with a smile of how much Delia hated it at first. "And it turned out it was haunted."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"By my son?" She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! Well yes, but not originally. By a couple who lived there before us, they weren't dead long, they died only months before we moved in. Adam and Barbra. They were my friends, but they weren't a fan of my stepmother, all the changes she was making to their home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ahh, I see. Adjustment to the afterlife is hard enough." She mumbled as she moved to taste her tea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yea, so at first they wanted us gone and-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's where my son came in."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess he was advertising himself as an exorcist for the living." Lydia said with a smirk as she picked up her tea cup. "He came close to getting rid of us too, but Barbra was able to send him back." She whispered, remembering the fear she felt. Shaking it off, she continued. "So I encountered him two more times after that, the first one was brief and he said he could get me to be with Barbra and Adam, the next time-" She paused now watching the fireplace. "That time he saved Barbara and Adam. The price for said rescue was my hand in marriage."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was always one for those deals. Ever since I told him the story of Rumpelstiltskin." She crowed with a shrug, her 'gaze' was off towards the fire. "So I take it you two were not wed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, but close. Before we were announced he was eaten by a giant worm…thing." She muttered motioning to take sip of tea but hesitated. "Ma'am-?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please, call me Tabitha."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tabitha, right,” Lydia stammered as she took a quick sip and set the cup down. "What was he like, your son? Before he well... died?" She asked which made the woman across from her stop in mid drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was not the man he is today, I assure you. I raised him better than this, but this realm had its way with him, corrupted him somehow." She whispered, setting down her own cup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He had no father growing up. It was just the two of us for a long time." She began, Lydia listening intently. "I'm not aware of how much he told you, but you deserve to know the truth. I am a witch, and so is he." Lydia's eyes widened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"oh come now, not like the ones in the silly fables. We don't eat children or ride on broomsticks, though Betel did it once or twice as a child, just because he could." She said with a chuckle. "It's such a strange thing though, to outlive kings and their legacies yet to die from simple and stupid folks." She said with a tisk. "Though the world always has been like that, hasn't it?" She asked to which Lydia could only nod in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was drowned then. Wasn't he?" Lydia asked and Tabitha nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. I burned at the stake, while he was drowned sometime after my own execution. Had he not been such a coward then we may have both lived to see another lifetime…."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The air was thick with the anticipation of the witch hunt. Mobs of angry and fearful villagers moved to the shack just on the outskirts of the town, three children had gone missing in the span of five nights. The only answer produced by the village was that a witch had taken them. And the only people who fit the requirements of being witches nearby was the town healer and her fool of a son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabitha readied herself to speak to the people in hopes of calming their tempers. She was hauntingly beautiful, her cedar brown hair cascading down her back in waves, her bright green eyes were like emeralds. Her soft pale skin would make strangers pause and consider if she was possibly royalty, but even the most beautiful of maidens were not spared from being tried as a witch, if anything, they were more prone to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Betelgeuse, come away from the window! When they meet our eyes it will be face to face, not from us cowering behind our own walls!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A young man stood looking out the window, his eyes watching as the flames and pitchforks moved closer. He was half a shade lighter than his mother, he did not hold his mother's brown hair, nor her bravery. He swallowed hard looking back to her and could only find the strength to nod as he shook with fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The children had been eaten by wolves, but there was not a witness or a shred of proof to it. The third child however vanished shortly after she had set out to fetch a remedy for her parents from Tabitha. The child never so much as made it to their doorstep, a wolf could have been a culprit for that attack as well, but the parents weren’t the kindest to the lad. What was to stop the young lad from making a new life with a few good coins in his pocket?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mother, we should just leave. France is wonderful this time of year, or maybe look into the island colonies? Not as many people out there, at the very least your healing hands would be appreciated."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! I will not be taunted by mere mortals. I have been on this earth for over 200 years, I will be damned if I let some serfs led by a false holy man chase me from our home. We have helped these people for years, if they can be swayed to violence, we can sway them to peace."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mother, I don't think there is much to reason with here," Betegeuse uttered before a fist began pounding on their wooden door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on out Tabitha, we know you're in there! Don't make this any harder than this has to be!" Came a pious and pompous voice, the town's preacher. "God's mercy will be as swift as your acceptance!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabitha did not delay in opening the door to meet the masses gathered outside her home, her son remained cowering inside. Roars of anger filled the sky, night nearly upon them now. Accusations thrown her way,' taker of children, murderer, the devil's mistress', but she did not give way to the people's words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Listen to me! You are my friends and neighbors!" She shouted back, not an ounce of anger or judgment in her voice which soothed the crowd down to whispers. "I have done you no wrong! Nor my son, we have aided you from illness and injury!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Which you gave us with your spells!" The preacher shouted back, earning back his flock who all cheered in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what would I have gained in that?" the beautiful woman asked in response. "Riches? I do not have want or need in coin, and I have proven it with my hospitality! You all know this to be true! When you came to me with not so much as a goat to your name I have healed your children and the old without payment!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ye did it to curse us!" Came a riled villager in the crowd, cheers following.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do not give in to your hate, please!" Tabitha started, but was cut off by the pastor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The witch expects us to not obey the word of the lord! Ye shalt not suffer a witch to live! We shall burn her at the stake!" He roared and two men went for her, dragging her from her doorstep, neither one of them noticing the man hidden just inside the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The men quickly bounded and gagged the woman, in fear she might hex them all as they escorted her to her final resting place. All the while they dragged her back into town, where a post was already in place and waiting for her, Tabitha gave muffled screams for her son, but he did not leave his hiding place until the smoke had died, along with his mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I may not have felt the flames consume my flesh, but my heart was burned from my chest with the knowledge that my own son did not fight for me. With my last breaths on that earth, I cursed him for all eternity. For not coming to me in my time of need. I cursed his very name, to all that beckons him by calling his name three times… he will have no choice but to show his cowardly self." She said sipping her tea once more. "Looking back on it now, I should have just let my son go," she mused gently in thought. "In cursing his name, I had not only brought him to his death, but led him down this dark path he now walks,” whispered the charred woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia sat in thought, she felt pity for the pair of them, but more so was curiosity. The Beetlejuice she knew was nothing remotely close to the son Tabitha referred to in her tale. Save for remaining to be a coward in a certain light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What changed him?" Lydia asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That, my dear, is something you'll have to ask him. I only know the beginning… Not what changed him into the man he is now, or more so was."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean by 'was'?" Lydia asked to which the corpse smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He is not as foul as I remember. When he came here the three nights ago-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How many nights?!" Lydia asked in confusion. "I've been out for that long?! Shit! Oh God, Dad! Oh Delia's gonna kill me!" The young woman moaned as she rose from the chair. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She shouted and the ghoul plopped suddenly on the floor like a fish just reeled in from the ocean, only instead soaked with water from the sea, he was covered in sand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could give the roasted bitch a piece of his mind, Lydia was dragging him out by one of the sleeves of his jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was nice to meet you Tabitha, thank you for the tea!" She shouted as she dragged the upset and bewildered man out of the shack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What gives babe?! Took you long enough, or did you pass out from her storytelling, she could put even a dead man to sle-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now Beej, you gotta take me back to see my dad! How long have I been away! Shit, they might have gone back home by now!" She screamed as her hands clutched the roots of her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jeez kid, calm down, alright, we'll take a trip just... just breath alright?" He asked and she nodded slowly. This was the longest she had been away from her dad, and to be gone so long without a notice, he must have been worried sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do we get back?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well you got a choice here, you can either send me or go with me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should go, he might not trust you after all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ehh, good point. Alright so just hold my hand, say the magic word three times and think hard about where you want to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jesus, what are you, Dorothy's slippers?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Listen, I didn't make the rules alright? If you got suggestions or comments on how this shit works, the woman who gave it to me is right through that door!" He said gesturing back to his mother's door steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, whatever let's just go," Lydia muttered as she held out her hand to him. Placing her hand into his she thought hard on the house where all this started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She called out, and the pair appeared outside of Lydia's parents' house. Releasing his hand Lydia bounded for the stairs, busting through the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dad?! Delia?!" Lydia called once inside, leaving the door open for Beetlejuice to follow which he did cautiously. "Hello?! I'm home!" Suddenly glass was heard, shattering in the kitchen, followed by hurried footsteps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delia came through the archway from the kitchen, and once Lydia came into view, her eyes began to swell with tears, her arms opening for her to enter in a hug, which Lydia did without hesitation.</span>
</p><p><span>"</span>Where<span> have you been?!" Delia cried, holding her stepdaughter with all her might, fearing if she loosened her grip, the girl would slip away. "We looked everywhere for you!"</span></p><p>
  <span>"I know, I'm sorry, there wasn't any time to explain!" She mumbled in regret. She should have left a note or something, but she was lucky she made it out of the playhouse alive. Or anywhere for that matter." She glanced up to Delia then around the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where's dad? Please tell me he's not still looking for me? I know the first forty-eight hours are essential but-" Now Delia backed from the hug, but remained in full contact, her hands gripped on her step daughter's shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia... You've been gone for months."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you talking about? We were just in the city, which was only last week." Lydia whispered back unsure, but Delia shook her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia. That was six months ago. Your father and I, we looked everywhere for you. We had your picture plastered on the news, milk cartons, and billboards. Where in the world were you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can explain everything, but let's wait for Dad, it'd be easier if we told you both at once…" She whispered looking over her shoulder to Beetlejuice, but Delia's grip tightened, forcing Lydia's gaze back to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What is it, Delia? Look, I'm really sorry I scared you guys, but I'm back, for now anyway, I have so much to tell you and-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia listen to me!" She shouted, making both the dead man and the girl freeze where they stood. The woman shook as she gathered herself up again, which made something click in Lydia's mind. Delia wasn't wearing make-up. She always wore makeup, even to bed! Something was wrong. Really, really, wrong. Before she could ask, the answer came from her step mother's mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia, your father is dead."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Deadbeat Dad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Charles Deetz: loving father, husband and a tenacious force in real estate. These titles meant little to his current location. He was now a deadbeat. Had he not committed suicide before arriving to the waiting room, he surely would have done it now, only this was his last stop, and no amount of prescription pills would get him out now. His leg shook nervously as he waited for his name to be called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe this was hell? His very own personal hell. Sitting in a dentist office without a single magazine for the rest of eternity. But this was where the Maitland's went to speak to their advisor, or consultant or whatever the person was. Wasn't it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt like it had been ages, but it looked as though it was only minutes passing. The receptionist hadn't moved from her spot for so much as a bathroom break! Did ghosts need to use the bathroom?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Deetz?" Came the voice of what may as well been his angel of mercy, only he would have never had imagined that angels were painted green. Or models. Or suicide victims themselves. "Miss Hale will see you now," She chimed, but he knew all too well the sound of a pissed off receptionist. Without a word Charles made way for the door, not giving a damn where it led to so long as it was out of that waiting room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hall was distorted, the walls uneven, the floor went like hills and the doors shaped up to be proper doors. He was dead and all he could think of in this precise moment that even he would never be able to sell this commercial property. His eyes darted back to the doors, each one, searching for an indication of where his 'Counselor' took residence. Twenty doors passed before he found it, and it was the most average looking door in the hall, which gave him some relief, but that distressed him even more. He was dead, yet he still had anxiety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was definitely hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked once before opening the door, and once inside, he was attacked. Attacked by a stunning 5'10" brunette with the most luscious pair of lips he ever felt. Naturally, Charles reacted the only way he could. In a panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell woman?!" He shouted, his back against the closed door, his hands outstretched to keep the woman at bay, but now her advance had died. She went from ravenous to repulsed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dammit. That little green bitch promised me a hanger." She spat turning away, letting Charles not only remember how to breathe, but to let him see his attacker fully. Hourglass curves with a perfect red dress to show them off, legs that went as long as his wait in the room, and eyes like burnt cigarettes. He almost regretted forcing the woman off, but he had far more important matters at hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'And you're a married man.' He reminded himself, mentally checking himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have a seat, Mr. Deetz." The woman hissed going for her draws, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Dear God this woman was something out of some old B rated detective film. He abided and took a seat across from the desk, trying to avoid her gaze, as well as her cleavage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So how did you off yourself?" She asked, pouring herself a glass. Charles was stunned at himself now. He couldn't remember for the life of him. Well obviously. He was no longer alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I- I don't remember." He confessed and the woman's response was slamming the bottle on the desk, causing the man to jump in his seat. She smirked gently and set her gaze upon him once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a shame you didn't hang yourself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What does it matter to you if I hung myself or not?" Charles asked in confusion, which was when the woman climbed upon her desk, grabbing the uncomfortable, married man by the collar of his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because," she purred, her hands moving to search the man's trousers without an ounce of shame, "sometimes when a man hangs himself, he won't break his neck, but suffocate himself, so he is still able bodied down here, and if so, sometimes, if they are passed though quick enough, they maintain the erection from all the blood from their body moving down for the legs." She cooed as the man moved to get out of the woman's grasps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jesus- I'm married!" He shouted, now feeling her hand work him, making him quiver but a fight still in him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmmmm… Last time I checked dear, you're dead, making her a widow, and you a single man. We take the whole ‘til death do you part’ pretty seriously down here." She cooed and the man in her grip was no longer fighting the tides of pleasure coming over him. Ther hand on his shirt went to properly release the man's organ, licking her lips with desire, she did not expect the man to retaliate now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a hand around her throat, he did his best to follow though before he gave in to the woman's rather enticing demands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you don't stop that... I'll have to report you to Juno." He rasped, and the hands were no long on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ugh, how do you know the old hag already?" Hale spat in disappointment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know her personally, but I have my sources." He muttered, collecting himself both mentally and physically. His memory was coming back now. "I took to many pills, and it was no accident. I came here to find someone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well darling, if it was an old lover, I cou-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! No, I wouldn't kill myself to get laid…" He muttered. " I came down here, to find my daughter."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Lydia sat in the living room in shock. Pure shock. She had not so much as moved an inch of her own free will since the news hit her. The Poltergiest had placed her in the armchair, but only after calming down the ever hysteric Delia Deetz.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pair had come to a short mutual agreement, or more so that Delia would not try to attack him at will with the fireplace pokers at will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's been with you? All this time? What have you done to her?! She looks horrible!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Believe me toots- she looked worse." He warned seating himself on the floor, his eyes still on the neurotic red haired woman. "It's a long story, but I think you have a longer one to tell. You got any smokes on you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Delia went back to the kitchen in a huff to retrieve her purse, as well as a bottle of wine and two glasses. Once returning, she set herself on the floor, legs crossed beneath her as she fumbled through her bag in search of her Marlboros. Charles detested her smoking in the house, but hell, he was dead now. Might as well smoke inside, even if just out of spite for him leaving her the way he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd prefer to hear yours first. If I am going to tell Lydia how her father passed, I would like to do it with her actually listening." She said with her iconic sarcastic smile, handing off a cigarette to the ghost. Once it was between his lips she lit it for him with her lighter, then did the same for herself. Beetlejuice could only nod to the statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let me give you the quick version- Lydia called me in some fancy place, surrounded by who knows how many Soul Suckers and-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Soul Suckers?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yea, just- just imagine the grim reaper, minus the skeleton and scythe part, and instead of taking you to the next life they devour your soul. Really brutal and after that, there is nothing. Got it?" She nodded. "Right, well the only way out was into the Neither World-" clearly a question was going to present itself from Delia once more. "It's where all the ghosts come and go. Anyway we got there without a problem, because apparently, Lydia is some sorta super medium,” he said, casting a look to Lydia’s direction to see if she was ready to join the world again but her gaze was far from them. Well, we get there and find out that the new head hauncho for the fucking committee put a hit on me, and unfortunately Lydia was kind of the bait."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without warning the woman began to slap the ghoul with what might she had from her free hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You?! You did this then?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey, hey! Woah! No! I didn't give her that Jacob-fuckoffanddie disease, it just fucking happened that way… I guess the board knew I was visiting her and-" Another round of feeble hits to the head. "Oi! Whaddya want from me?!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"An apology to start! I also want you to get Charles back, and to tell me what you did to Lydia!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I can't tell you the rest when you keep fucking hitting me, can I?" He snapped, making the woman put on a sulking face. "Pour me a glass would ya?" She refused, but only for a moment before uncorking the bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now then, right. Well the guy that put the hit on me hates me. Like really fucking hates me, you know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Believe me, I think I can empathize with this fellow," Delia muttered, handing him a glass. “The feeling is mutual here as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mutual enough to tell some fucking ugly Russian dolts to bash her skull in?" He rebutted pointing to Lydia with his cigarette hand before downing the full glass. "Because that's how it went down. She got snatched up by D'Angelio… the head honcho I mentioned, and she was nearly dead by the time I showed up." He hissed with venom, savoring the memory of tearing the brutes apart, but poisoned by the image of her broken and battered body. "She's a real troop. I've seen a lot of shit, but not to many people who could take on a beating and still have the courage, or stupidity, to fight back." He whispered, taking in a drag and dispensing the half burnt cigarette into the empty wine glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And oh, let me guess, you saved her because you are such a gentleman?" She asked with her head tilted ever so much, and a far to chipper smile on her lips. Sarcasm was a second language to him, but Delia could not only speak it but show it. He really understood now why once upon a time Lyds wanted to off herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well fuck. I saved her didn't I?" He spat back as he got to his feet to investigate his surroundings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The place had a more 'homey' feel to it now, last time he was here the damn place felt like the Neither Realm. His eyes roamed about to various family photos and obscure paintings until he came across a framed news clipping. He would have walked right by the thing had it not had a photo of Delia holding a sculpture. A sculpture of him. His jaw went slack and he turned his gaze right back to the 'artist' who sat, downing her second glass of wine, unaware of the oncoming storm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes went back to the news clipping to further identify what the fuck he was a part of now. New York Times. Great, not only was he the butt of some bad joke in his neck of the woods, he now looked like a hot mess up here. The article included a biography of Mrs. Deetz, as well as a short interview. It gave note that her success seemed to have taken place nearly overnight, and when asked 'what had attributed to her artistic growth' she had responded with 'my own personal demons and shambles of modern culture.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lost his suicidal thoughts, but only so he could replace them with homicidal ideas. The bitch had the nerve to make a half assed sculpture of him, but not even the decency to credit him?! Tearing the frame from the wall he made his way back to the woman, practically shoving the evidence in her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the fuck, lady?! Did you fucking forget to mention something here?! Like asking me for permission, or at least forking over some cash for my help?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Help?! Ha! You're out of your mind," the woman tisked, finishing off her cigarette. "You didn't do a goddamn thing other than terrorize this household!" A scowl now on Beetlejuice's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could sue ya know. For Plagiarism. I fucking made that form first. Or do you not recall me being a fucking snake right before your eyes?!"</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Lydia began to come back to the world. Her wide eyes blurred everything before her, her hearing slightly muffled. Even the chair she sat in now didn't feel fully there. Her gaze went to the direction of her stepmother and Beetlejuice. They were arguing, but she held no context of their conversation. Without breaking their focus on one another, Lydia managed to break away from the room and retreated up the staircase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The study. Her father's favorite place. It would be no surprise for her to learn that this was the room that this was the room in which he died. Her eyes observed everything with scrutiny. Nothing had changed, but the room lacked her father's aroma, replaced with the weight of death. Her fingers trailed across one of the book shelves. She had never ventured into the room unless her father was in the room, she had no need to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all had their own spaces. When Barbra and Adam were still here, they kept to the attic when in need to keep to themselves, Delia would go to the deck or to the basement for her art. Lydia took to her room or the basement bathroom which was converted into a dark room. This room, this was his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia had yet to shed a tear. She refused to believe it. She waited for her father's voice to scream from the kitchen in frustration, or for him to walk in with a cup of tea and nature magazine in hand. For him to ask her how her day was, if she was interested in any boys, if she thought about going off to college, if she wanted to go into town with him, what photos she had taken lately, or if she wanted to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She heard the floor creak behind her, and to her disappointment it was not her father, but Beetlejuice and her stepmother. Both offering apologetic somber faces, to which Lydia could smile sadly in return, her finger tapping on the bookshelf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How did it happen?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He overdosed on his medication," Delia whispered, not daring to approach the girl, in fear of scaring her off like a rare bird. "Right in that chair. He didn't even leave a note…" She whimpered, water works threatening to break out, but this news started a spark to Lydia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He killed himself. If he killed himself, then that must mean he was in the Neither Realm! Her eyes went to the ghost's and he immediately threw up his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Babes- Listen, I know what you are thinking."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have to bring him back! You have to!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't have to do shit! I'm already a wanted man and something on that level?! The council would feed me to the worms without trail!" He huffed, but the words he produced only encouraged her more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you can do it though," she started now moving towards him, "you can bring him back?!" He scoffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, duh. Of course, I could bring him back, ya know, so long as I had his body, and of course the proper motivation,” hinted the ghoul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you bring my dad back, I'll marry you," Lydia spoke without hesitation, receiving a gasp from Delia, and shake of his head from Beetlejuice, a grin as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No deal."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?! Why not?!" Lydia shouted enraged, now toe to toe with the ghost with the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because babes, if memory serves me right, you tried backing out at the altar after I did my part." He hissed back, folding his arms. "No way. If I do this. We get hitched BEFORE I bring your old man back." His green eyes flashing, sending shivers down her spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lydia, sweetie, just think about this. Your father wouldn't want you to go through with something like this!" Delia spoke, earning a glare from the ghost. He only had so many propositions considered, and this girl already took the bait once, he couldn't run the risk of her backing out again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without effort, the ghost managed to force the woman out of the room with a gust of cold air, the door slamming and locking behind her. A contract appeared in one hand and a quill pen in another. The door handle shook furiously, followed by pounding and shouts from the very distressed widow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now, if you want your daddy back, all you have to do is sign this contract, we'll rustle up one or two more witnesses, get hitched THEN, I'll bring him back, well, maybe go on a short honeymoon to Hawaii, THEN get your old man back. Do we have ourselves a deal?" Lydia bit her lip, her eyes looking to the door then to the contract, skimming over the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And if you can't get my dad back?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll prove it to ya that I can bring him back, by bringing us a witness from the local graveyard. Just gotta make sure they are in the Neither pit first." He said in a matter of fact tone, like he had done this sort of thing on a daily basis. Lydia snatched the contract and read it over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In summary, it went just as he informed her before. Everything would be split down the middle. He'd get half of her life, and she'd get half of his powers, more or less, but they would share each other. The sand in her hourglass would stop moving, and he would get a fresh start on life. She would get her father back, and he would get out of the Neither Realm for good. He'd be untouchable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're getting the better deal..." She muttered eyeing him, he could only shrug and grin in response. "Hey, I didn't make the odds uneven. I'm just taking advantage of your situation." He admitted without shame. Just when she thought she saw a nice streak in the guy, he turned out as rotten as he looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He offered her the quill and she took it into her own hands, moving to the desk. Laying the contract out she sighed heavily, knowing fully well that she was signing her life away, she just wished she knew what else would be in store.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can we get a divorce?" She asked looking over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd have to initiate it, and believe me, neither of us would want that process." He confessed, making Lydia's situation even more perilous, but none the less, she signed the contract and handed it back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The document vanished once he came into contact with it, going off back to wherever he pulled it from, and the door to the study opened once more, letting in a devastated and exhausted Delia Deetz once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aw Mom, come here!" He shouted bringing the two in for a hug. "Ya know what, this is great! Why, I'm the luckiest guy in the world, really I am!" He gloated before delivering sloppy kisses to each of their foreheads and released them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now, let's see about sending out some invitations, and oh gosh we need a cake! Ugh! So much to do and no time to do it in, however will we manage?!" He shouted with theatrics as he exited the room, victorious once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now all he had to do was figure out how to raise the dead.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hoping that someone holds me accountable to finish this before Halloween but we'll see. Still have one more chapter to clean up before I can start pushing out the new stuff.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Foiled Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Beetlejuice rolled his neck standing over a headstone within the town's graveyard.</p><p>'Joshua Harris' was the winner of the lottery, though the pickings were slim. He offed himself only a few weeks ago, so he was relatively fresh.</p><p>And young.</p><p>"He graduated in my class," Lydia muttered folding her arms. "Well, not exactly my class... But our school's shared the graduation ceremony together."</p><p>Beetlejuice nodded as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes.</p><p>"I'll never understand why anyone would off themselves," grumbled the deadman as he fished out a cigarette and lit it. "Sure, life isn't great, but death is a drag," he continued taking a drag and eyed the girl once more before scanning the horizon, those Soul Suckers must be on a feeding frenzy if they hadn't sought out the kid yet.</p><p>"So, what's the plan?" Lydia asked shifting in her shoes.</p><p>"Well, uh, still gotta find the guy in the next life. Can't go dragging out souls if they aren't there."</p><p>"Otho didn't have to check where Adam and Barbara were when he did this.." Lydia said narrowing her eyes. "You've never done this before… have you?"</p><p>"Well of course I have, I've just never had a peanut gallery before." He said trying to make a recovery. "But listen kid, we gotta not only find this chump, but your old man as well, gotta secure that package before D'Angelo does." Lydia's eyes went wide.</p><p>"Shit!" She shouted, making him widen his eyes in shock. "Dad, man oh man, he's gotta be losing it right now down there!" She said running her hands through her hair as she paced away, missing the expression of relief on Beetlejuice's face.</p><p>"Yea, that's right. Ol' Chuckster needs his little girl right now, so how about we go grab daddy dearest, keep him at my place and you stay with him until I get Josh out of bed, done deal?"</p><p>Lydia nodded furiously making the ghoul smile. He extended his hand out to her for her to take.</p><p>"You know the drill, say it three times and we'll get back to my place babes."</p><hr/><p>Charles swore he could feel his heart threatening to stop as he walked through the case management office to see Juno. Skeletons at typewriters, people hanging off of conveyor belts.</p><p>'Maybe it's a nightmare, maybe I'm dreaming right now and I'll wake up and none of this will of ever happened.' The man thought desperately.</p><p>The door to Juno's personal office swung open and hit the wall with such a force that Charles nearly died a second time, meanwhile those who worked around him. With his hand gripped at his chest, his eyes rose to meet the woman in a pink business suit.</p><p><strong>"YOU!"</strong> She shouted, pointing at him with a cigarette in hand. <strong>"GET IN HERE! NOW!"</strong></p><p>Charles swore that if he wasn't dead already his heart would have surely gave out. He hurried up the stairway and walked in, jumping again when the door slammed shut.</p><p><strong>"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOUR DAUGHTER HAS CAUSED?!"</strong> She spat making her way around the desk, but the words from the rather terrifying woman was the best thing he had heard since who knows when.</p><p>"You've seen Lydia? Where is she?!"</p><p>"Not here!" Snapped the woman, she glared at the remainder of her cigarette and quickly found a replacement. Lighting it up and taking a drag, she eyed the middle-aged dead man. "Last time I saw her, she was running of with Betel." She hissed chucking her lighter to the desk in between them.</p><p>Sitting down, Charles buried his face into his hands.</p><p>"I can't believe this.. She is down here, I was hoping she wasn't but.. Where does she work?"</p><p>"Work?!" Juno asked and shook her head. "Jesus, you really don't have a clue. Your daughter isn't dead, she's-"</p><p>"A freak of nature…" Came an unfamiliar voice to Charles, the door opening once more to reveal the Mobster D'Angelo. "Who will be spending an eternity on Saturn once apprehended."</p><p>Juno and Charles both rose to their feet, directing their attention to the thug.</p><p>"Who the hell are you?" Charles asked with a growl.</p><p>"That's the King of the Neither World, or so he thinks," Juno responded without missing a beat. "My question is where in the hell do you get off on this D'Angelo! You screwed up! Call it quits already, would ya?!"</p><p>D'Angelo went red in the face as he walked to the desk, two new but just as brute henchmen on his tail.</p><p>"She's as much of a freak as that Beetlejuice!" He spat bitterly.</p><p>Juno raised an eyebrow at the mention of his name. "Two more times and you can tell him yourself." D'Angelo scowled at the woman for his slip up, but this brought an idea to Charles Deetz.</p><p>"Beetlejuice." He said out loud, tracking back to the previous conversation. Lydia was with him.</p><p>"Beetlejuice…"</p><p>Juno's eyes made contact with D'Angelo, expecting fear in his eyes, but she saw something sinister in his face.</p><p>"Charles, wait don't!"</p><p>
  <strong>"Beetlejuice!"</strong>
</p><hr/><p>Lydia blinked as Beetlejuice vanished before her very eyes.</p><p>"Beej?" She asked unsure looking around before she spotted it out in the distance.</p><p>A soul sucker.</p><p>"...Sh-"</p><hr/><p>"SHIT!" The ghoul shouted in anger arriving in Juno's office. "Shit, shit shit!"</p><p>Charles smirked seeing the frustrated ghost, as well as the aggravated Beetlejuice. Two birds with one stone. His victory was short-lived as he was slammed against the wall by the ghost with the most.</p><p>"Chuck. What. The. Fuck."</p><p>"He-hey BJ, I heard that you were with my Lydia, so nice of you to drop in, now, where is she?"</p><p>"Winter Park Cemetery, but you know, I was just about to her bring me here to find you.. But as you can see.. I'm having an issue with that.. <strong>SINCE I'M HERE NOW!"</strong></p><p>Charles went slack at the information. "Well, can't you just-"</p><p>"No! I can't just go back! She has to call me! That's how curses work!" Beetlejuice said shaking the middle-aged dead man.</p><p>"Winter Park was it?" Came D'Angelo with a smug grin making Beetlejuice tense up. Glancing over his shoulder, Beetlejuice glared at the mobster releasing his fiance's father.</p><p>"D'Angelo, you're as loveable as a politician, you know that?" Hissed Beetlejuice approaching the man but froze feeling cuffs wrap around his wrists, his skin singing on contact.</p><p>"The fu-"</p><p>"Something that the boys in the technology department have been working on. Voodoo and science wrapped up together. It was pricey, and painful for those working on it, but hey, you were worth it."</p><p>"You think same fancy jewelry can keep me locked up? HA! You're the biggest joke in this place, you know that?"</p><p>"Actually, I know that you won't be going anywhere. It's silver." D'Angelo retorted Beetlejuice's jaw dropped slightly at the news. "You're trapped and just as powerless as any of us."</p><p>Damn, was he foiled. Literally.</p><p>He glanced at Charles Deetz and threw him a wink.</p><p>"Thanks for the help, Charles. Maybe I'll have you work in my office. Then again, Saturn seems more fitting." He said nodding to the henchmen.</p><p>"Take them downtown, I'm going to take pleasure in the young Deetz girl, be it in the flesh or in her death." He gloated glancing at Juno who was mortified and defeated. He could only grin that the woman was speechless.</p><p>As the pair were shoved out of the office, Charles eyed the rather furious ghost.</p><p>"BJ, do, do you have a plan?" He asked in a whisper. The response was a glare that even Delia couldn't compete with.</p><p>"Chuck. At this point, you'll be lucky if the Sandworms get you before I do."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Jailbait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As Charles Deetz laid on the cold slab in his cell he did his best to avoid the eyes that sat in the neighboring cell. Beetlejuice was pissed, but in Charles’ opinion, the man had no right to be angry with him. Unable to deal with the tension any longer, Charles sat up and glared back at the poltergeist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what, it’s your fault that we are both in here, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“My fault?!” Beetlejuice growled, enraged as his still cuffed hands gripped the bars. “You’re fucking with me, right? All you had to do was say my name one more, just one more time while you were alive and I could have explained the whole situation to you! About how I was right about the suckers, about the fact your kid is special, but noooo,” Beetlejuice muttered, not once taking his eyes off of Chuck. “It took Lydia calling me three times to save her from those fucking things…” Beetlejuice said, releasing his hold on the bars and threw up his hands as he backed away. “But hey, now I know where she gets her stubbornness from.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t act like you know Lydia that well, or that you actually care about her,” Charles barked back. “You are interested in her for one reason only… You are disgusting, you know that? You’re what, 150 years old?!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, I lost count around 600 years dead. You tend to lose track of time down here, but you’ll find that out soon enough,” Beetlejuice retorted as he slumped his back against the wall and slid down to the floor. “And while I’m not known to cuddle after coitus, I certainly value your kid’s safety. Save her life twice now, was working on the third attempt when you had to ring the dinner bell for Walter and now thanks to you, we’ve got no clue if Lyds is dead or not…” He said as he closed his eyes. “Only way we’ll know now is if she makes an attempt on her life again, suicide seems to run in the family- but hey, I knew what I was getting into when I asked her to marry me. She accepted the agreement again, on the condition I brought your sorry ass back to life.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean again?” The father asked while jumping to his feet. Charles didn’t specify which comment he was referring to but he was more concerned about the mention of suicide. He understood Lydia making the awful deal for his sake, but did she really try to hurt herself?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Before Beetlejuice could respond footsteps echoed in the prison hall. They were getting a visitor. Charles moved to the bars to try to get a view of the hallway but Beetlejuice didn’t move from his spot. He knew the tap of those heels anywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You really fucked up this time, Betel,” Juno scolded before she saw him and stopped herself short in front of Charles and shook her head. “And you! What were you thinking?! Calling him here was the second biggest mistake you’ve made.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What was the first?” Mr. Deetz asked puzzled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Killing yerself,” Beetlejuice muttered drawing the attention of both Charles and Juno. The woman gave a heavy sigh and looked back to Charles with concern hanging on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Your daughter is in grave danger. Only I don’t know who is capable of causing more damage,” Juno said in a low tone as a door slammed in the distance. “... Walter is currently in charge around here, and he is going to offer you a deal. My advice is that you don’t take it,” she muttered as she dug into her purse to fish out one of her cigarettes and lit it up. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you not do that here please?” Charles asked, flinching away from the smoke. Juno had to laugh at the request. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What, now you are worried about your health?” Juno retorted as Beetlejuice stood up from the floor and approached the pair. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hate to break up the love fest over here, but what kind of deal is Walter supposedly going to offer?” He asked as his hands gripped on the bars. “And you know I have a better idea, Junebug, instead of giving some cryptic bullshit you do us a solid and get us out of here,” the man in the striped suit urged. Juno took another drag from her cigarette before passing it off to Beetlejuice through the bars. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I can’t do that, Betel,” Juno whispered before looking back at Charles who watched her with uncertainty. “Whatever he offers you, don’t take it. There is no evidence that you’ve had anything to do with what’s been going on. Just keep your head down and you’ll be out in no time.” Casting another glance to her former partner, Juno turned to walk away.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the deal with the kid?” Beetlejuice asked before blowing smoke in Charles’ direction, the man began to cough into a fit. Juno’s shoulders slumped and she turned back. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“... At least two closet escapees are on her. More are expected to show up and I’m sorry there is nothing I can do,” Juno stated, making the man roll his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I know one thing you could do!” The man said enraged, the cigarette hanging from his lip as he shoved his hands through the bars. “Get these off and I’ll clean up this mess myself, scouts honor.” Juno just shook her head and walked away. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t take the deal!” Juno shouted making Charles wonder what the hell this Walter fellow was all about anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you suppose she is trying to warn us about?” Charles asked looking back to Beetlejuice as he brought his hands back into the cell and retreated to the furthest corner of his box.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck if I know, Chuck,” the man grumbled. “Fuck if I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia cursed as she walked up the driveway to her home, casting a glance over her shoulder every other minute. One soul sucker had become three in the time it took her to walk from the cemetery to the mailbox of her home. She kept her hand tightly wrapped around her evil eye necklace, terrified that it would somehow vanish. While the pendant didn’t aid her again the two Russians, all that mattered was that her death stalkers were kept at bay. For now. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,” Lydia uttered for the hundredth time but still he didn’t show. This was very unlike him, but beyond being out of character she remembered that it was impossible for him to ignore the pull. The curse his mother placed on him should have brought him here, but something must have kept him from coming. Lydia didn’t know if he was dead or somehow trapped. How the hell did one keep a ghost in place?</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Opening the door to her family’s home, Lydia spotted Delia at the bar. Delia’s attention was on the phone until the door was closed behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! Lydia’s back, I’ll call you back Otho,” Delia said in a hushed tone and placed the phone back on the receiver. “Lydia, darling, where did your… friend go?” Delia asked, searching the empty space behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. One minute he was there and the next he was gone…” Lydia muttered walking past her stepmother and to the bar and pulled out a bottle of vodka. If she was really missing for eight months then that meant that her birthday had passed. She was 21, legally allowed to drink and given all that she had gone through in the last week, or eight months, she would say she earned a drink. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Pouring the clear liquid into a rocks glass, Lydia set the bottle aside and threw back the liquid. It burned her throat and brought tears to her eyes but she motioned to pour herself another when she noticed the set of eyes peering at her through the window. Getting drunk would make her vulnerable and she just wanted to scream. So she did.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“This is pointless! Why won’t he come back?! Why would dad do something as stupid as kill himself?!” Lydia moaned as she slammed the glass down and brought her hands to her face. “... I should have killed myself when I had the chance. I still have that chance too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you listen here young lady,” Delia shouted as she marched up to the bar and took up the bottle of vodka. “You aren’t going anywhere, not this time. That Beetleman can screw himself for all I care. I lost you and your father. We can get him back, Otho is on his way here now and-”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Otho?! You can’t be serious, Otho is only good for making things like this worse!” Lydia shouted as she pushed past Delia and headed for the stairs. When she reached the top of the staircase she returned her gaze back down to Delia, ready to release all of her frustration upon her stepmother. “Did you really forget about the last time he got involved with this? He nearly killed Adam and Barbara!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“They were already dead, Lydia-” Delia started but threw her hands down in defeat. “I’m trying here Lydia, okay! I’m sorry that I can’t just accept things the way they are like you can, I can’t just roll over and wait to die!”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Delia regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, but Lydia was not wounded by the statement. If anything the younger woman felt empowered by the words and marched for the attic. Delia began to climb the stairs after her but Lydia had managed to lock the door to the sacred space before her stepmother could see the door.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ignoring the shouts that came from Delia, Lydia’s eyes moved to Adam’s toolbox. Surely there would be a decent razor in there for her to make the trip but she stopped short seeing a box of chalk set on top of Adam’s kit and recalled how Beetlejuice had taken her from New York City all the way to the Neither World with a single piece of chalk. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia’s eyes shifted to the windows. While it was pitch black outside she could still see the wisp forms of the suckers hovering outside of the house. One way or another she was going to deny those bastards of eating her soul, but before she opted for the more permanent solution she wanted to see if it was possible for her to move between the realms on her own. Picking up the box of chalk, Lydia plucked a fresh piece and set the rest of the box aside before moving to the brick wall as the doorknob continued to rattle furiously. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Lydia you open this door right now!” But the demand went without a response as Lydia traced out a rectangle for her to pass through and knocked three times just as Beetlejuice had done, but nothing changed. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia frowned at the results and was prepared to go back to the toolbox when the rattling of the doorknob caught Lydia’s attention. Quickly she colored in a circle onto the door and repeated the three knocks, this time the medium was rewarded with the green light leading its way into the Neither World. Smiling Lydia looked back to the attic door. She was going to tell Delia that she would be back, but she didn’t want to make a promise she couldn’t keep. Without another thought, Lydia stepped through on her own. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Charles and Beetlejuice remained silent as they waited for anything to become of them, but the one thing that was most likely to happen was a visit from Walter. After an insurmountable amount of time, the dead mobster presented himself before the two, getting both of the imprisoned men to the edge of their cells without requesting it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you up to D’Angelo?” Beetlejuice growled as he pressed his face between the bars. The free man glanced at Beetlejuice briefly before giving a shrug and focused on Charles. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here to offer Charles a deal of sorts, I visited a minister you may be acquainted with. The one you employed for your failed ceremony,” Walter began before snapping his fingers, signalling one of his hired goons to approach with a legal document. “I reviewed the case against you concerning the marriage attempt of one Lydia Deetz. While the situation is certainly frowned upon, it is entirely legal here. It might be the only thing you’ve tried that is up to code,” Walter continued as he passed off the document to Charles through the bars of his cell. “I’m hoping that I can convince you to relinquish your daughter into my company.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Charles blinked as he took hold of the papers. He was more familiar with the legal terms presented, but still the language read like stereo. Charles quickly shook his head and motioned to hand the documents back.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t sign these, I can’t do that to Lydia,” Charles muttered. “She’s her own person, and from what little I’ve heard about you I can’t condone this union either.” Beetlejuice didn’t show his cards, but he breathed a sigh of relief at the sound decision. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s me or death by Soulsucker, Charles. Not just her soul, but of yours as well,” Walter threatened making the father pale at the thought, but the ghost next door was throwing a fit.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Chuck, don’t fall for it, he was going to do this anyway!” Beetlejuice shouted and Walter chuckled in response. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“True, but you can save your daughter this way. The old laws still apply with this rule. A father can give his blessing for the union of a woman. Don’t you want to save Lydia’s life while she still has it?” Walter said with his hands clasped behind his back, refusing to take the papers back.  “She can still live a full life, and you can be a part of that life as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you getting out of this?” Charles asked, making Beetlejuice do a double take. “I mean, other than my daughter. There has to be more to this than you being a cretin.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no use in denying carnal interests in your daughter,” Walter smirked. Questions implied potential interest.  He could work with this. “I would say the most beneficial aspect of this partnership would be denying Beetle any power of getting out,” He said while looking at the man in the black and white suit who looked rather capable of committing murder in this moment if it were not for the silver cuffs and bars separating them. “That and maybe the occasional trip to the city. It’s been decades since I’ve had a decent cannoli.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Charles was truly between a rock and a hard place. If it was his own soul on the line he would turn down the offer without hesitation, but when it came to Lydia- and all that he knew now, there was little choice on the matter.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Alight, give me a pen,” Charles rasped in defeat.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Chuck, what the fuck?!” Beetlejuice roared from his cell. “When I offered you that deal you told me to take a hike, but you are going to let this bastard walk off with your daughter? Need I remind you of the state her boys left her in? That’s the life you want Lydia to have?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I want her to have a fighting chance!” Charles shot back. “Believe me, if I had known then what I know now I would have taken you up on your offer BJ, I really would, but I can’t let Lydia die, and certainly not like this,” the father said as he took hold of the pen offered and sat down. Placing the form on his lap, Charles gave his signature and handed the papers back to the mobster who wore a grin of victory.  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good to be in the family, Mr. Deetz, or would you prefer me to call you father?” Walter taunted before looking at Beetlejuice's cell. “My boys will collect you both when we’ve found my bride to be. What would a wedding be without witnesses and the father to walk their daughter down the aisle?” Walter asked as he tucked the legal papers into his inner coat pocket. “See you at the wedding boys.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As Walter and his hired man walked away Charles buried his hands into his face, waiting for Beetlejuice to give him well deserved grief for the tough choice he had made. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck?” Beetlejuice asked, his tone more confused than angry but Charles did not question it. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What other choice did I have?” Charles asked with his head down. “Lydia is as good as dead anyway, but maybe now she has some chance of surviving? We can always try to figure out how to get rid of Walter, but we can’t just summon Lydia from harm.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Think again Chuck,” Beetlejuice stated, forcing Charles to look up at a dim green light in Beetlejuice’s cell and from that light emerged Lydia. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lydia’s eyes were on Beetlejuice then on the bars behind him. It certainly explained why he didn’t come when she called. Her eyes moved to the cell next door and she released a gasp.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad-!? She shouted as both men hissed shushing sounds at her. Lydia didn’t say another word as she moved to the cell bars to embrace her father as much as the rods would allow. Charles could hardly believe this moment as he looked down at Lydia. She was alive, or at least physically present and safe from harm.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you,” Charles whispered, wishing that he could hold her closer. “How did you get here?” Charles asked and Lydia shrugged quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I just did as the ghosts do. I made a door and knocked three times,” Lydia said glancing over her shoulder at Beetlejuice, expecting some comment or reaction from him, but the man looked a little more grim than usual. “Beej? What’s up?” The woman asked, not moving from her father’s hold. The familiar ghost smirked and gave a nod to Charles.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span> “Our marriage might not happen, kid. Your old man just gave Walter D’Angelo his blessing to take you.” Lydia’s eyes widened at the news and tore herself away from her father, sending a glare his way. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You did what?!” Lydia shouted, forcing Beetlejuice to muzzle her with his cuffed hands. The young woman struggled against the hold and cast a glare up to the man holding her back and no sooner had their eyes made contact Lydia was released and she set her gaze on her father again. “Dad, how could you?” Lydia asked, her voice clearly carrying hurt caused by betrayal. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He threatened your life, I couldn’t ignore that,” Charles confessed. “It’s the only way I could protect you.” Charles whispered as Beetlejuice made his way to the door of the cell to check the hall and sure enough the shouting that Lydia had made caught the attention of the guards. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid, we have to bail,” Beetlejuice warned moving back to Lydia and took hold of her arm but she refused to budge, still wanting answers from her father. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s worse than Beej!” She whispered in response. “I’d rather be dead than married to that piece of shit.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey what’s going on down there?! Called a guard making Lydia realize where they were. While she was upset with her father she didn’t want to leave him behind. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Beej,” Lydia started but the ghost shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no time,” the ghost grumbled. “We can come back for him later, as long as Walter isn’t aware you are behind my disappearance he’ll have immunity, but we need to move now.” Beetlejuice urged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lydia looked to her father, pained from his actions and the fact that she couldn’t help him now. With a heavy sigh, Lydia quickly drew another doorway and gave three knocks, triggering the doorway to open again and the pair walked through without looking back.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Daddy Issues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lydia and Beetlejuice walked into the attic space just as Delia flung the door open. The ghost made a beeline for the Maitland’s toolbox to see about getting the cuffs off while Lydia made her way for the window to see what the soul sucker situation was looking like. Both of them ignored the wailing that erupted from Delia.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, how nice of you to join us again,” Delia scolded as Beetlejuice dug through the box, pulling out anything that had an edge to it and set it aside onto the worktable. “Please, go on, help yourself. Maybe I can get you something from the kitchen while we are at it.”</p><p> </p><p>The offer made the man pause and shrug. </p><p> </p><p>“Beer if you got it, I like the dark stuff, but what I could really use is a blowtorch,” he said while gesturing to the cuffs on his wrists by shaking his forearms, the short-chain rattling as he shook. Delia only rolled her eyes before focusing on her stepdaughter. </p><p> </p><p>“How is it that you’ve only been back for a few hours and I’ve already had it up to here with you?” Delia asked folding her arms. “Honestly, Lydia, I wish you would just talk to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Lydia was silent as she made out only two of the ghastly figures laying in wait for her outside. The others must have been impatient, or maybe with any luck they were dragged back to the Neitherworld. Lydia was prepared to speak to the maternal figure as a shiny black luxury rental pulled up into the driveway. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh great, just what I need now, Otho,” Lydia muttered as she pushed herself off from the windowsill. Before she could get a foot away from the window Delia had caught her by the arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Lydia-”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have time to talk Delia!” Lydia shouted as she pulled herself away. “I just saw Dad. That psycho who wanted me dead has him locked up and I need to figure out a way to break him out and bring him back before they do something bad to him. That, or they figure out where I am and drag me away too.” </p><p> </p><p>Delia blinked at the information and shook her head and stepped forward to place herself between her stepdaughter and the ghost that was wedging a screwdriver into one of the keyholes.</p><p> </p><p>“Your father is dead, he has all the time in the world right now, let’s focus on you. Who wants to drag you away? What good would that do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Cuz Chuck agreed to let Walter fucking D’Angelo get hitched to Lyds,” the ghost grumbled before the screwdriver snapped in the keyhole. Beetlejuice groaned and looked to his former, current, or possibly ex-fiance. “A little help would be nice!”</p><p> </p><p>Lydia moved around the confused redhead and moved to Beetlejuice’s side to inspect the damage that the ghost had already done. </p><p> </p><p>“Now hold on a second, Charles couldn’t have done that-” A knock at the front door cut Delia off and Lydia looked over her shoulder to her stepmother. </p><p> </p><p>“You better let Otho in before I send Beej to greet him," Lydia warned before returning her attention to the cuffs around the ghost’s wrists. Delia could only look at the pair incredulously before storming off to collect the man from outside. </p><p> </p><p>Beetlejuice scoffed at Delia’s retreat before he looked to Lydia, keeping silent as Lydia fiddled with the lock, his eyes wandering from her spindle fingers right on up to those dark orbs she called eyes. He didn't have a fully functioning heart, but he could feel something pumping within him.</p><p> </p><p>"Can't believe he sold me off to that bastard," Lydia hissed, breaking the silence between them. "He kept you a secret from me, lied about why we went to New York," Lydia continue as she unlocked the first cuff and moved on to the next hole. Beetlejuice could have freed himself from the second one now that the hold was broken, but who was he to stop a woman on a mission? Though to be perfectly honest he did like hearing her voice, even liked it, especially with her tossing heat at her father. "I should have called him out on it too! He thought he was being so smooth, going behind my back and trying to get Otho's help on this?! The man makes a living regurgitating whatever is in fashion for the season," Lydia said as she felt the lock reject her again. Setting down the pin Lydia shook her head, and suddenly she began to choke up.</p><p> </p><p>"All these years, he's just kept mom out of his mouth, hasn't told me shit about anything. He just drinks his tea, watches his stupid birds, and tells me to keep my chin up- AND WHAT DOES HE DO? He kills himself," Lydia shouted as she broke out into tears. "If I want to die, I'm being dramatic, yet if he does it he gets to be a martyr? That he did it for me?! That's such bullshit- he's never done anything for me, it's never been about me!" Lydia sobbed furiously, fully prepared to rub her eyes raw if it would get her to stop crying. "And now- after he kills himself, he would let that asshole marry me? He should have saved us all the fucking trouble and handed me off to you in the first place." </p><p> </p><p>Beetlejuice smirked slightly at the woman's rage, the grin was made out of sympathy but he knew he was treading on broken glass here. One wrong word and the venom she was spitting could be transferred to him.</p><p> </p><p>But of course, he couldn’t help himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you are in need of a way to get back at your old man, I’d be more than happy to offer my services to you,” the ghost whispered into Lydia’s ear as she went back to picking the lock of the other cuff.</p><p> </p><p>“Is getting married your solution to everything?” Lydia muttered as she felt the lock resist her yet again. </p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t talking about marriage, babes,” Beetlejuice said craning his neck to the side and shrugged seeing that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with his advances he turned his attention on the brick wall, counting the bricks Charles would shit if he could get Lydia to even consider his indecent proposal. At hearing the lock click the ghost smirked and held up his recently released wrist. “My hero,” Beetlejuice chuckled as he cast a side-eye to the young woman. “However can I repay you?” He asked snarkily.</p><p> </p><p>“You can shut the hell up to start,” Lydia muttered as she turned back to the toolbox to put what wasn’t damaged away. Her hand ghosting over the razors she had considered using not all that long ago but she quickly waved the thought away and slammed the box shut. Walter had them pinned and her options dwindled down to two options. She wasn’t fond of either of them, but at least one of them would be her call. </p><p> </p><p>“Whatever you say, babes,” Beetlejuice muttered as he sat at the edge of the replica of the quaint Connecticut town. Digging his hands into his pant pockets he felt for a pack of cigarettes but only pinched at lint. He dropped his head and considered if he would have to bum one off of Delia as Lydia crossed the short space to meet him again, giving him a rather pissed off look. Removing his hands from his pockets, the man raised his hands in defense.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I’ll shut up, jeez kid you don’t gotta-”</p><p> </p><p>Lydia grabbed the man by the jacket and kissed him. It was brief, forceful, and full of spite but most of all it was unexpected. Before the ghost could reciprocate or respond to the kiss it was over, but Lydia still held onto his clothes, looking at him expectantly. Beetlejuice shifted his eyes around the room in confusion before looking back down at Lydia, unsure what the hell he was supposed to do.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, uhh.. What, what was that?” He asked as he finally lowered his hands to the edge of the table he was leaning against. </p><p> </p><p>Lydia’s cheeks went red as she looked away.</p><p> </p><p>“God, I’m an idiot,” She muttered releasing him and turned for the staircase but was pulled back to face the man she had just kissed and tried to pull away. “I’ve never done this before alright!” Lydia shouted flustered making Beetlejuice blink. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you want to?” The ghost asked with an arched brow, her expression said it all and now he realized he was the one who needed to recover. </p><p> </p><p>shit. shit. Shit. SHIT!</p><p> </p><p>He had knocked down whatever rebellious confidence she had built up to make to deliver that kiss and he was fucking it all up. She turned away again and he followed her down the staircase slicking his hair back nervously as he found himself rambling.</p><p> </p><p>“Look that was a great start, we just need to practice a little! You know, practice makes perfect and all that, right? Right?! Come on, let’s have another go, what do you say?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was a dumb idea, Jesus, I can’t believe I was about to marry you-” Lydia grumbled as she exited the stairway and made her way for the stairs that led to the ground floor. “The one thing that Otho is good for is that he’s ordained, the idiot got certified just so he could make a spectacle at art galleries! ‘This piece is the perfect union between Louise Bourgeois and Gaston Lachaise,” Lydia sneered.</p><p> </p><p>“Ordained?” Beetlejuice asked and silently yet visibly cursed himself before he moved to cut her off from the stairs. “Just hear me out, babes. We’ll take turns! I’ll go next,” He said hurriedly as he moved in to kiss her but Lydia dodged the affection and hurried down the stairs. </p><p> </p><p>By the time she got to the last step, her wardrobe had changed from the black number she wore to the Beauty and the Beast show to the red gown Beetlejuice had her wear several years ago. Glaring back up at the man she wasn’t surprised to see that he was in the familiar and equally hideous tuxedo he donned on their first marriage attempt. </p><p> </p><p>“Seriously?!” </p><p> </p><p>Beetlejuice raised his shoulders and offered a smile but Lydia rolled her eyes as she picked up the hem of the gown and trudged off in search of Delia and Otho. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Otho?! I’ll give you my college savings if you can solve my beetle infestation!” Lydia shouted as Beetlejuice ran down the steps. She was a little surprised that Delia hadn’t come out to investigate the commotion they had stirred, but nothing surprised her more than seeing Walter D’Angelo sitting at the head of the set dining room table with a gagged Delia on one side, an unconscious Otho on the other, and a few unknown deadbeats lining the walls. </p><p> </p><p>Lydia took a step back as Beetlejuice stopped short into the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Lydia. Or would you prefer Audry?” Walter purred as he eyed her. “Either way, it’s good to see you again, Mrs. D’Angelo.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Til Death Do We Part</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lydia quickly lurched towards the table to pick up a steak knife that was set with the closest dish to her. Gripping it with both hands, she pointed it at Walter and the room erupted with laughter from the Deadbeats, Walter laughing the loudest.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, you are really a funny broad, you know that?" Walter asked as he rose from the chair. "What are you gonna do with that? Kill us? We're already dead!" He shouted as he pointed to the bullet wound in his head.</p><p>
  
</p><p>This statement of the obvious caused the men to laugh even more. As D'Angelo's crew roared with their hysterics, Otho began to awaken but his frantic writhing wasn't acknowledged by anyone other than Delia. Her eyes scanned the room frantically, pulling as the restraints that tied her to her seat wondering why it was always the dining room that ghosts haunted her in.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lydia continued to brandish the knife, knowing that he did have a point. They were all impervious to her mortal threats. She cast a glance up to Beetlejuice, hopeful that he would summon up another psychotic carnival, or some murderous tentacles to deal with the intruders. Anything to improve their outlook against the unwanted guests but the ghost’s eyes were fixed on Walter.</p><p>
  
</p><p>"Can you lay off you fat bastard?” The man growled. “I had eyes on Lydia first, and a contract signed off by her- So, if anybody is getting hitched here, it's me," Beetlejuice said before wrapping an arm around Lydia, his other hand gesturing to the burgundy tux he wore. “You’re a professional, Wally, so you should know that you dress for the job you want. I’m ready for a wedding, while you look about ready to shoot a commercial for a Big and Tall outlet,” he said with a grin as he moved away from Lydia and placed himself between his intended fiance and the wedding crasher. “Besides, I’ve made plans for our honeymoon in Hawaii. Gonna hit the beach, summon some demons from a volcano, consummate our union, you know the usual newlywed things.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Walter only smirked at the argumentative point that the Neitherworld’s most wanted put out. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, Beetle, you of all people should be well aware of the rule of age before beauty. Especially given that you are as old as everyone else here combined,” Walter retorted as he stepped closer to the pair. “And the will of one Mr. Charles Deetz, Lydia’s guardian, is a law that is older than you, and overrides your claim on the lovely Deetz girl before us.” Looking to his right he gave a nod and two of Walter’s men drew the chalk door and left. “It’s only right to have the father of the bride at this most joyous event, and we still require the Minister.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“There is no way in hell I am marrying you,” Lydia said through clenched teeth as she raised the knife again and pointed it at Walter. She moved to take a step forward but Beetlejuice held her back, and the two exchanged looks of warning to one another as the still open portal produced the mobster’s grunts again, but they were now dragging Charles in with the Minister following them willingly.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Upon seeing Lydia, Charles’ first instinct was to go to her side, but the knife in her hold was a deterrent for him to go rushing to his daughter. That, and the men who brought him in had forced him into the seat Walter had been occupying only moments ago. Charles eyed Delia with shame as his hand reached over to hers and held it, mouthing the words ‘I’m sorry’. Delia couldn’t respond with words but her eyes stared at him with pain in her eyes but she nodded in acceptance. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“No way in hell is it?” Walter asked as he retraced his steps back to meet Charles, observing the interaction between the married couple. “Well, I suppose I can’t hold a grudge against you can I? And I can hardly punish you, unless of course you find a solution to your impending death problem before our friends outside make their way in,” Walter said as he nodded to the window that several soul suckers were placed at. “I can however make the rest of your father’s stay in the Neitherworld a waking nightmare,” Walter threatened before peering at Delia. “Maybe execute a few family friends while I’m at it.” </p><p>
  
</p><p>Charles looked up to Walter, furious at the threat against Delia. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Don’t you dare lay a finger on her or I’ll-” </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Or you’ll what? You gave up the only card you had, Deetz- your negotiation skills are, for a lack of a better word, shit,” Walter tisked as he placed a hand onto Delia’s shoulder. “I could make her suffer all night, but sadly I don’t think Lydia can stay for the whole show.” Looking back to the woman in the bright red dress, he grinned and lifted his head. “What do you say, Lydia? Marry me, or would you prefer if every living person in this room experienced a most painful death?”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lydia was screwed before this point, but now it just felt like an impossible scenario to escape. Lowering her arms Lydia turned around to see a slew of the soul suckers budging at the window. Her acceptance of the soul suckers claiming her would only make things worse for her family, but she could try something else. Turning back to the rest of the members in the room she turned the knife on herself, readying the blade to her throat. Everyone’s expression darkened at the sight.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Everyone save for Walter of course. He only shook his head at the ploy. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well, you certainly would not be of use to me anymore as a regular deadbeat,” Walter said with a grin as he made his way around the table to approach her. “However, I’m sure I could make you the most popular call girl in town, wouldn’t you agree, Beetle?” Walter asked, looking to the dead man in the tuxedo whose expression was one of contemplation. “Of course, you won’t be able to indulge, given that you’re going to Saturn for the rest of your afterlife.” Walter grinned as he looked back to Charles who looked mortified.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“You said-! Oh, never mind what you said,” Charles muttered as he directed his attention onto Lydia and Beetlejuice “Sweetie, listen, I- I don't know how things ended up this bad but, you are going to be okay.” Charles started as he leaned forward in his seat and looked to the ghost, who in his opinion, started this whole mess. “BJ, please get her out of here.” The man muttered, still holding to his wife's hand as he was willing to let her go for his daughter.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lydia’s eyes widened and she shook her head hurriedly before she pulled the knife from her neck and pointed it at the solemn-looking groom who had attempted to place a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“No! Dad, I’m not leaving you!” Lydia shouted back and turned her eyes onto Beetlejuice. “I’m not leaving, not without my dad- and Delia and Otho, they need to be safe too,” Lydia insisted as the souls outside began to make their presence known more fully. They would descend upon her in a matter of minutes if something didn’t happen. “I can’t keep running from this. Beetlejuice, please do something!” Lydia pleaded with tears welling in her eyes.</p><p>
  
</p><p>The man knew he could solve this situation in a few ways, but none of them would result in a way that would benefit him. </p><p>
  
</p><p>He could walk away from this all and start from scratch, but who the hell knew when he could come across someone like Lydia again. Plus, he didn’t necessarily enjoy the idea of seeing her around the Neitherworld, as Mrs. Walter D’Angelo or as a deadbeat herself, but he would rather one of those outcomes over the closet escapees devouring her soul. His focus then turned to Walter and the deadbeats he had employed for this whack job. He could get rid of them, but that would only increase his problems in the Neitherworld- even if Lydia would go through with a marriage with him, he would never hear the end of it from the board, and he’d always have to look over his shoulder. There was the option that Charles suggested too. He could run away with his intended fiance, sure, but Lydia wouldn’t forgive him on that and likely a marriage would never happen- so it wouldn’t even make sense to carry her off like some wannabe knight in dented armor. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“If you had only listened to me in the first place, Chuck,” Beetlejuice grumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. Looking back to Lydia he reached for the knife but she pulled it away and held it behind her back. She shook her head motioning to take a step back but the man already caught her at the waist, anchoring her to him with one hand as the other hand found its way to her cheek, cupping her face to raise her face to meet his gaze. She was pissed, hurt and terrified all at once and he couldn’t blame her. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Life had been unnecessarily vindictive against her, her father was useless in protecting her or even acknowledging her plights. He knew he was a disappointment to her as well. He had missed so many opportunities to do right by her and he pissed them all away, holding out for his own benefit. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“You know we are fucked regardless right?” He asked tilting his head to the side, his eyes still on her. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Lydia’s eyes narrowed at the statement. “You could kill Walt, I know you aren’t worried about your immortal soul or anything,” Lydia murmured, making the man chuckle.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yeah, you are right there, but I’m not quick enough to kill ‘em before he gets Delia, and even if I did… Well, there would be hell to pay for me, and while I don’t mind the heat that wouldn’t help you with your soul sucker problem,” he said, giving a shrug. “So, it’s not the best option for us.” He said as his thumb stroked over her cheek. Lydia frowned at the response.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Do you have a better idea?” She asked. Lydia meant for the question to come off in a bitter tone, but her fear was far more evident to the ghost. He nodded and looked to the folks who were waiting on them, or more so on Lydia to give in to the mobster’s demands.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I do, it’s not my favorite plan, but it’s the only one that really gets the job done,” he muttered as he rolled his neck to look at Lydia again who was delivering him a look that prompted the question, ‘what are you waiting for?’ He was hoping some other ingenious idea would come to mind first but he was at a loss and they were out of time. “Do you still wanna see Adam and Barb?”</p><p> </p><p>Lydia blinked at the question. She didn’t understand what that had to do with their current predicament but she nodded and her hand grasped the hand he held her face with. “Yeah, I do, but Beetle-” Lydia was cut off as the ghost pulled her into a kiss. It was quick, fleeting almost and filled with pressure, but it accomplished two things. Beetlejuice got to take pleasure in what he had missed out on earlier due to his stupidity, but more importantly, it caught Lydia off guard. </p><p>
  
</p><p>“It was nice knowing you, kid,” Beetlejuice mumbled against her lips, confusing Lydia further. Before she could question what he meant she felt a terrible pain in her chest. </p><p>
  
</p><p>In a fluid motion, the hand that Beetlejuice had placed on her waistline seized the knife she held behind her back and plunged the designer cutlery into Lydia’s chest. He shifted his hand to make the kill as quick, as possible, slicing her heart’s arteries rather than just shanking the muscle. The hand that once held the woman’s face had snaked to her back to keep her close and from giving in to the body’s natural instinct to survive, but Lydia hardly had time to put up that fight. She didn’t even have time to scream- no time to curse his name or say farewell to her parental figures.</p><p> </p><p>Beetlejuice removed the knife, watching as the deep red blood meshed with the bright scarlet dress. He ignored the burning sensation within his own eyes as he dropped the weapon and held onto her limp body with both hands, half expecting her to slap him for the deed he had done, or to hear her scold him. His eyes went to meet Lydia’s again, hoping he could at least apologize to her, but she was already gone. The light behind her eyes snuffed out from this world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Honeymoon's Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was Charles Deetz who broke the pregnant silence as everyone watched the killing in disbelief. Charles was kept to his seat by the hands of Walter’s men. Thrashing violently, Charles attempted to break free so he could save his daughter, even while knowing that it was too late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You bastard! You killed her! You murdered my little girl!” The father roared, fighting his own tears as well as the men who restrained him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walter was dumbfounded by what he witnessed, what he still witnessed. Neitherworld’s most wanted was a lot of things, but compassion wasn’t one of the traits he would ever stick onto Beetlejuice. Yet the man had given the woman a good, clean death and still held her as a lover might. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I didn’t know any better,” Walter started as he approached the dead woman to make sure it wasn’t just a show. “I would say you actually cared for her,” Walter stated, a hand reaching out to touch Lydia’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the last second Beetlejuice dropped Lydia’s body like a bag of rocks, her corpse hitting the floor with a thud, making Walter jump, not so much for the sound but the action itself. He was a killer, back when he was alive and in his afterlife, but the cruelty against the dame’s remains was surprising- especially after the way the man had treated her. The mobster was conflicted in thought until he saw the look on Beetlejuice’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If joy and fury could ever blend, it would be the expression that the infamous ghost looked at him with now. His smile was expansive, a shark's grin had nothing on this mouth, but what concerned Walter at present was the eyes of the man. It was as though his eyes had been replaced with flames that threatened to burn all that they saw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Care is a strong word, Walt,” Beetlejuice said bitterly as he stepped over Lydia’s body to close the distance between them. “I’m just a sore loser, that’s all.” Walter cleared his throat as he backed away from the ghost, nodding apologetically as he looked at Lydia’s still body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “Well- no hard feelings from me on this round Beetle. We’ll just say water under the bridge, right? I mean, it’s not as though you could actually attack an esteemed member of the board.” Walter said, checking his surroundings. He was close enough to his men to where he felt comfortable making threats again, but he couldn’t forget the state of the warehouse he had questioned Lydia in. The Russian twin barely qualified to be called ‘remains. “What do you say we head on back to the Neitherworld and consider this a draw, yea? I get the board off your back and you keep your mouth shut. Sound like a deal?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“On a good day, Walter, I would take you up on that in a heartbeat, so let’s time Lyds heart to that deal, shall we?” Beetlejuice asked as he looked back at the corpse he made. Beetlejuice chuckled and shook his head and eyed the mobster once more. “Guess not.” He said before moving past Walter, making his way to the seat that Charles was placed in. Waving the men aside they released the outraged father who aimed a fist at the dead man’s face, but Beetlejuice simply stepped to the side and Walter’s fell face first to the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone watched in confusion as the ghost grabbed the furious and grieving father by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the nearest wall. Producing a piece of chalk in his freehand, Beetlejuice began to draw a door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine, go ahead and take this to Juno, hell, take it all the way to the rest of the board! It’ll be your word against mine, Beetle,” Walter scoffed as he knelt down to pick up the bloodied steak knife. “Truth is I saw you kill a living woman!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I admit it. I’ll even turn myself in, but you are forgetting two things asshole,” Beetlejuice grumbled back as he knocked on the outline and the green light illuminated the room. “I’ve got a license to kill the living, being a bio-exorcist and all, the union is pretty tough when it comes down to making sure those certs are good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walter frowned. The bastard had him there but there were several other violations he could pin on Beetlejuice, but he was hoping for the big charge- but hell, it wasn’t murder or booze smuggling that brought down Capone, it was tax evasion. At this point just about any infraction could give a one way ticket to the Beetle. Turning his lips up, D’Angelo shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough, but what’s the second missing piece?” Walter asked as Beetlejuice hauled Charles Deetz to his feet and shoved him through the open door to the Neitherworld.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You let those suckers out of the closet, Walt, and the house is all out of Lydia,’” Beetlejuice stated simply as he gave a nod to the pair of soul suckers that managed to seep through the glass and creep upon the unsuspecting gangster. Walter’s eyes widened as he saw Beetlejuice hold up the evil eye necklace that was once around Lydia’s neck. “It’s dinner time,” the ghost said with a grin before he stepped through the portal and it closed behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All at once, the soul suckers flooded into the Deetz household. Denied the morsel that had been calling to them, the wispy figures descended upon Walter and the other ghosts in the room, devouring their very essence. Delia and Otho did not witness the cloaked ghosts- they only felt the room temperature drop several degrees and watched the intruders writhing and screaming in agony before their images faded to nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually the room began to warm up again, the soul suckers having consumed all the souls that they could, a few hovered around Otho for a period but left knowing that easier meals could be found. The two friends stared at one another silently, both bound to their seats.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... What the hell was that?” Otho asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>….</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as Beetlejuice stepped into the Neitherworld again he was greeted with a sucker punch from Charles. He should have seen it coming, and maybe he did, but he rolled with the punches that Charles delivered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How could you do that to my baby girl?!” Charles roared in frustration as he threw another fist into Beetlejuice’s gut, causing the man to double over. “She’s dead because of you!” A blow to Beetle’s cheek was made and it sent the man down to the alley pavement. “ANSWER ME!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While laying face down on the ground, Beetlejuice stared at the evil eye necklace in his hand in silence. Listening as the words of anger from the father were twisted into sobs of sadness. Rolling onto his back, Beetlejuice watched as Charles backed against the wall and slid down to the floor, covering his face with his hands as he sobbed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate to be the one I told you so,” Beetlejuice started as he summoned a pack of cigarettes from thin air. He took his time seizing one of the death sticks. Lighting a match against the concrete floor, Beet ignited the cigarette in between his lips and took a long drag. The ghost released a trail of smoke and then a heavy sigh. “But I fucking told you so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charles threw his hands down to glare at the man who had single-handedly ruined his life. But it was true- Beetlejuice did warn him about all of it. The soul suckers, Lydia’s being far from ordinary, about Walter… Charles closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where did she go?” Charles asked gently as the man in the tux took a final drag of his cigarette. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not sure. Processing can take some time, that white light people claim to see when they bite the big one is just a waiting room,” Beetlejuice said as he put out the still hot coffin nail into his hand, his thousand-yard stare giving no indication of pain. Propping himself up by his forearms, the dead man turned his head to the grieving father. “She could go up, she could go down. I doubt it, but she could have a skeleton in her closet worthy of attracting Lucy’s attention. Hell, she could even end up in that house like Adam and Barb.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, Lydia would hate that,” Charles said, shaking his head. In truth, he didn’t know who would haunt who when it came to his wife and daughter. As Beetlejuice got back on his feet, Charles also began to stir, watching the nearly twice made son-in-law. “Is there any chance she could end up here? You said that given her being special she could,” Charles asked with a twinge of hope in his voice. Granted, he wanted more for Lydia, but he still wasn’t ready to give her up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shoving his hands into his pockets, Lydia’s necklace tucked into the folds as well, the miserable ghost gave a meek shrug as sirens wailed in the distance. They were coming for him, he could feel it, but there was no point in running. He had nothing to fear in terms of getting hit with the book. He was up to code on his license to kill the living and the eradication of Walter and his crew could be led back to the man’s faulty plan of leaving the closet door open in the first place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I lied to you about that part. Your kid was a wild card if I ever saw one,” Beetlejuice sighed as he felt the glass of her evil eye necklace in his pocket. “Just take a win where you can. Walter can’t get her and neither can those suckers,” Beetlejuice said looking over his shoulder. Charles Deetz nodded as a few police cars arrived, blocking them into the alley. The red white and blue lights flashing violently. “Ah, the colors of freedom. Gotta love it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the NWPD swarmed around them Charles followed the instructions to raise his hands above his head, but kept his gaze on Beetlejuice’s back. “Well, as long as she doesn’t come here or end up back home, you can’t get to her either,” Charles said with relief, making the other man scoff in response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And neither can I,” Beetlejuice agreed as he pulled his hands from his pockets and raised them in defense as the boys in blue swarmed around them. Their timing was faster than expected, but escaping prison in the Neitherworld was pretty unheard of, and the powers that be must have been monitoring every portal that was spun up since his disappearance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice didn’t fight back as he was slammed against a wall, a pair of silver cuffs slapped on him again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got the right to remain silent,” he heard one of the officers growl. “But if I were you, I’d be praying to God to keep you from the next flight to Saturn.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Beetlejuice smirked as he was pulled away from the wall and led to the cruiser. He didn’t need God to pull him out of this, but he was sure that his rep, Linda Eaton, wouldn’t mind getting the title of God. Ducking down, Beetlejuice sat in the back of the cop car and cast his eyes out of the window, watching as Charles was also hauled into another car, though the bedside manner was more gentle for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting back, the ghost closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. Technically, he had won. Walter wouldn’t be breathing down his neck ever again, and he doubted that the rest of the board would be going after him anytime soon- but damn did he feel like shit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How else was he supposed to feel after killing the woman he adored?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. End of the Line</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It went down just as Betelgeuse claimed it would. The bio-exorcist union dues were paying off handsomely and he was out of prison faster than a Kennedy's life expectancy while in office. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stepping out of the Neitherworld courthouse, the ghost with the most wasn't expecting any crowds to be cheering for his release, but he knew Juno would be up his ass like a bad case of hemorrhoids. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, dead center waiting for him with a cigarette in hand. Her cold, dead eyes on him as she took a drag from her lit cig. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"June Bug, to what do I owe this pleasure?" The man asked as he slowly descended the steps, stopping with a six-foot difference between the two of them. The woman sighed and dropped the cigarette on the ground, snuffing it's embers out with the ball of her shoe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Let me buy you a drink, Betel," Juno replied. The man rolled his eyes and walked on past his former business associate who followed on his heel.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I assume Chucky Cheese is getting acclimated to the joint?" The man mumbled as he padded himself down for a pack of cigarettes. Coming up empty, Betelgeuse shoved his hands into his pockets.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"As much as anyone fresh into the place can," Juno replied as she fished out her cigarette box and offered it to him. The man paused and reluctantly took the olive branch. "Maybe a little better than most actually, he's considering running for The Zoning and Developmental Council. He's not going to win obviously-"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Obviously,” the man mimicked as he lit up the bummed cigarette and handed the case back to Juno.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"But he's putting himself out there, has some ambition. Even if it is to pass the time here," Juno continued as she put the silver tinted case back in her bag.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"A man after my own heart," the man mumbled as he took his first drag of the day. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Is that so? Because if I didn't know any better, I'd say you want to stick around and do nothing forever," the woman retorted as she passed Betelgeuse and opened the door to a pub named Halfway to Hades. Nudging her head to the establishment, the man rolled his eyes and headed into the dark and seedy place. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The place was nearly dead. Aside from the barkeep, only a passed out deadbeat at a table and a pair of suits sat in a booth. Stock market jumpers by the looks of them. Moving to the bar, the two sat onto the stools, and the bartender slapped down coasters.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"What are we having today," asked the man who was far too cheerful for Betelgeuse's liking. Too cheerful to be in purgatory actually, but some folks actually did enjoy their afterlife somehow. He was a tall guy, with blue eyes, blonde hair, chiseled jaw. The kind of fellow Hitler could really get behind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Whiskey, top shelf, neat-" Juno stated as she pulled out her cigarette case again and set it down onto the bar top. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll have the same,” Betelgeuse uttered as he tapped his cigarette over the ashtray that sat between him and Juno. The barkeep nodded and walked away to complete the order, and it wasn’t until the drinks were set in front of them that Juno picked the conversation back up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your mother moved on,” Juno stated before she began to nurse her glass. The man beside her smirked and raised his glass. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well here’s to dear ol’ mum, may she get what she deserves,” Betelgeuse started, motioning to throw the contents of the glass down his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That makes you the longest residing deadbeat here Betel,” Juno continued, making the man pause in thought before he carried through with consuming the brown liquor. Tapping the glass with his fingers, Betelgeuse turned his head to the woman beside him as the bartender poured him another glass.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thinking about throwing me a party Juno?” Betelgeuse grinned as the woman pulled out a white envelope with his name on it. It was spelled as it sounded, how most people believed it to be spelled. She slid it across to him without looking and placed her free hand back on her drink. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m wondering when you’ll consider getting out too,” she replied, her eyes locked onto her former partner. She didn’t know what the hell they were to each other. He started out as an apprentice of sorts, and that evolved into an equal shares gig. Juno would regrettably admit once or twice he had made his way into her bed, and worse still she had sought out his company once as well but they were never lovers. She wasn’t even sure if they qualified as friends. Maybe their only real bonds were made from the woes of the bureaucracy they both once worked for. Whatever the case was, even though he was the biggest bastard she knew, she still had to do right by him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Betelgeuse’s grin had been wiped away as soon as he had laid eyes on the envelope. Letters from either realm were rare. He was familiar with hate mail from folks below, a heaven-sent letter however. This was a first. This had to be a first. He knew from one look that it wasn’t from his mother, his eyes following the erratically graceful curves of his misspelled name.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"It came for you while you were in the joint,” Juno muttered, bringing the man back into the seedy pub. “I would have forwarded it to you but didn't want to risk it not making it," Juno said before taking a sip as the man swiped the envelope to inspect the piece of mail. "Nothing against the mail carriers, but the term ‘going postal’ takes a new meaning here after all. It's not every day that a letter comes down,” Juno continued before taking another long drag of her cigarette. “Are you going to open it or what?" Juno asked impatiently, earning a glare from the supposed ghost with the most. Juno grinned knowingly. "Ah… so the almighty and powerful Betel is scared of something after all. Fear suits you," the seemingly older woman teased as she took a long drag from her cigarette.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not scared of some letter," Betelgeuse growled as he slapped the envelope down and reached for his drink. "It's probably just the kid writing to confess her regrets of not taking my offer on marriage." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Juno laughed at the statement and shook her head. The furrow on the man's brow dove deeper at the sound of her entertainment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Whatever helps you sleep at night I guess," Juno said as she turned her gaze from her former partner and to the mirror behind the bar and allowed silence to fall between them. Time is a man-made concept, but trying to keep track of it in the Neitherworld was as hopeless as it was pointless. A few seconds could have passed or an eternity for all they knew, but it was Juno that picked the conversation back up. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously Betel, how long do you plan on sticking around here for?” Asked the woman as she snuffed out the nub of a cigarette into the ashtray beside her. “You can appeal to move on, it’s not like you want to stay here another century, or have a reason to." </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Casting a brief glance to his former business partner, the ghoul rolled his eyes, making sure that she saw the motion in its entirety. The suits behind them had grown chattier, and one of them almost said his name. It was no secret that Betelgeuse was not beloved amongst the Neitherworld populace. Most despised him, even with his work of exposing Walter D’Angelo for being a massive piece of shit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t going to lie. He wanted out, but the odds were stacked against him. They always were. There were no two ways about it. There was only one direction he could go if he followed the system, and that was down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Did Lucy put you up to this?” The man asked forcefully, the letter that was once held like a prize was now bunched up in his fists like a useless flyer. “You've seen my wrap, Juno. There is only one place I'm able to go and it's as sure as shit ain't up," the man muttered before he threw back what whiskey was left in his glass. "Besides, even on the extremely off chance that I'd be allowed into the golden gated community, what fun would there be for me?" He asked as he slammed the glass down and the now free hand helped to crumple the letter. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You think that kid is enough for me? I’ve got news for you, she ain’t. The living won’t stop fucking, folks aren’t going to stop dying, and newsflash, I got all the time in the world to wait for that next exit sign to light up!” Betelgeuse growled as he kicked himself off of the barstool, sending it crashing down to the cracked tile floor below and made a free throw shot with the balled up parcel. All eyes in the joint watched the paper as it arched and sunk into the wastebasket behind the bar, but rather than waiting for applause on the shot, Betelgeuse went right back on the offensive. Leaning in close to Juno who watched the theatrics unphased by the outburst, he offered a half-grin. “I don’t need some Tiger Beat reject in my afterlife, and I sure as shit don’t need you,” Betelgeuse muttered. He was waiting for a response, but Juno only nodded her head towards the way they came in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s the door,” she said without a hint of emotion, triggering more fury in the man’s expression. At an impasse, Betelgeuse stormed out of the bar and left the tavern in relative peace.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s the damage?” Juno sighed and shook her head as she took out the cigarette case again as well as her wallet and placed them both onto the counter. Placing the bill before the lone woman, the barkeep moved to the waste bin to pull out the envelope that had been tossed in there but stopped at seeing the woman wag her finger in the reflection.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d advise you to not take things that don’t belong to you,” Juno started as she lit the new cigarette between her lips. “But even more important I would ask you to refrain from taking things that he has claim to," Juno continued as she stepped off of her seat and laid out the money that was due. "Leave it in the trash if you know what's good for you," Juno dismissed as she made her way for the door. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once Juno was out of sight the bartender had his hand back in the trash can to retrieve the abandoned note. Instead of finding that or any of the receipts he had thrown out that day, the poor fellow was instead faced with the sensation of teeth bearing down on his forearm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Letting out a terrified and painful scream, the bartender whipped his arm up to escape the wrath of the waste bin. On the third whip of his arm, the living garbage disposal unhinged its jaws on the man and flew off in the direction of the door. Before it could hit the floor, the bin had transformed into the patron who had stormed out after making his first scene. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dusting himself off, Betelgeuse shook off the trash and pulled off a chewed piece of gum from his hair before spotting the balled up treasure he was after. Scooping up the once discarded letter, he quickly stuffed it inside of his pinstripe suit jacket. The ghost eyed the man he had bit and gave a smirk before stepping out of the establishment again with his pride somewhat still intact. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>...</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The letter was burning a hole in his pocket but he didn't dare bring it out in public. The last thing he needed was some tabloid spreading rumors that he had a secret lover or something. That thought stopped him in his tracks as he recalled he had one very large bone to pick with a certain muckraker in town by the name of Joe King, but that would have to wait another time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Setting himself in motion again, Betelgeuse rounded the corner of a building and nearly collided with a very smug Juno who was waiting for him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had burned through the cigarette she had lit in the bar and dropped it on the sidewalk, snuffing what was left of it with her pointed-toe dress shoes. With both hands now free, she folded her arms and raised her chin at the man.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You can lie to everyone, Betel, even to yourself, but don't think for a second you can pull one over me again," Juno said. She could see that he was ready to throw something her way to get her off his back, but she wasn't looking for a fight, nor even the answers to what was in that letter. Truth be told she didn't care what the Penny Dreadful kid had to say-  she just wanted to make sure the message was delivered and remained in the right hands. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You know the rules on that material," Juno started again but Betelgeuse was already nodding in reluctance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Burn after reading, I got it." He muttered, "It's not like we can make the deadbeats any more suicidal though."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Juno shook her head and pushed past Betelgeuse but stopped as he caught her arm. Juno was prepared to snap at him but there was that expression from earlier on his face again. Hesitation? Fear? Remorse? She couldn't exactly place it but it was preferably over his all-knowing shit-eating grin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Why didn't you read it?" He asked. "Could'a just delivered the news yerself in a visit," Betelgeuse stated, making Juno shake her head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Whatever Lydia has to say to you, that's between you two," Juno said, the response caused the man to loosen his grip enough for her to pull away but the woman remained in place. "I'm not sure what interpostage is going for these days but I don't think Charles has received anything from the kid so if there is something she has to say to him, I'll leave it at your discretion to follow up."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he gave a nod in acknowledgment Juno returned her own curt nod and began to walk away but stopped again to see the man staring after her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I'd offer to stick around for emotional support, but I have bigger fish to fry, you understand," Juno said and Betelgeuse scoffed, signaling that he would be alright. She smirked and gave a wave as she turned away again, heading back uptown. Somebody had to convince The Board that she was the best choice to replace Walter, and who needed a CV when she had a steaming cup of ‘I Told You So’?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>----</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Back in his humble shack of a home, Betelgeuse stared at the still enclosed envelope. Wrinkles and creases littered the parchment, but it was arguably flat once more. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. He should have thrown it out, torn it to shreds, and burned the remains. No good would come from whatever scribbles laid inside, but he still wasn’t willing to let it go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t willing to let her go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh for fuck’s sake, you killed her- what do you think the letter is going to say?!" The ghost berated before impersonating Lydia's voice. "Hey, dreamboat! Thanks for sticking a knife in me like a steak. We should do it again sometime!" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He slicked his hair back with his free hand as he mulled over the potentials. He could still toss the thing into the next sewer drain, burn it or even eat the damn thing but curiosity was beginning to eat him up. Taking a deep breath, the man rolled every joint he could before tearing the paper sleeve to reveal the handwritten note.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'Dear Beetlejuice,'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"That's not how you spell it," the man grumbled out loud.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'I'm not sure if you'll ever get this letter'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"I did,"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'or if you even survived Walter and his gang, but if you are still out there and reading this. Either way, writing is a cathartic act and I need to get some things out. I want you to know that I am okay and I wanted to thank you, for everything.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man snorted, bitter over the light tone the kid was spewing at him but he read on, forgoing any commentary until he finished reading, a beer from his fridge now appearing in his hand as he read on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘-and I wanted to thank you for everything. Had you not chosen to haunt the Maitlands, I think we might have ended up meeting under very different circumstances,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lydia confessed on paper. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘and had you not come back to haunt me, I’m pretty sure I’d be in a worse spot than I am now. It’s a little brighter than my liking up here, but I’ve got my own darkroom now if you can believe it. Not a converted basement bathroom but a legitimate darkroom! </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m back with Barbara and Adam. I told them what you did for me but they are not pleased about me writing to you. I guess they are still pretty mad about before. Can you blame them? Well, I’m sure YOU can, but try your best not to hold anything against them. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I tried calling you here. A few times actually. Just to see if you could, but I guess security is a little tighter up here.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Betelgeuse paused at the statement. On a few occasions when he was waiting for the union to bail him out he felt a faint tug. He thought he was just imagining it but that was the windpipes trying to bring him up. His thumbs caressed the edges of the paper, wishing he could just ring the doll up already, but communication was slow and only went one way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Or maybe the worst has actually happened to you.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck. Kid, I’m not gone, I’m still here, you can keep calling my name, I’ll know it’s you,” Betelgeuse called out, frustrated now. He said he was going to read the whole way through but he just couldn’t help himself. “She’s actually worried about me. She should know me better than that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Barbara and Adam said it’s impossible to get rid of you though. Said something along the lines of you being like a cockroach.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The ghost held a hand to his chest, producing a fake sniffle. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I hope they are right, and I hope that you are okay. And I wish I could have seen the look on Walter’s smug face when you killed me… I know I wasn't expecting it. I'm not saying it was the wrong thing or that I'm mad but it just felt awful, and I'm not referring to the knife either. I can't explain it, but it felt wrong, to die by your hands. Maybe it was better off that way, and maybe you are better off that way too but I'm sorry you had to be the one to kill me. Had I listened to you earlier, I could have been the one to bring you back to life, right?'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A drop of water hit the paper in his hand, making Betelgeuse pause. He looked to the ceiling for the source of a leak but there was nothing so he read on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'I don't think I would have made a very good wife, and I'm sure that you wouldn't be winning husband of the year in this millennia, but you did more for me than most and that meant a lot.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Another drop of water hit the page but the ghost ignored it and continued to read.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'I'm sorry I messed up everything for you. I know you had high hopes for marriage and walking around with the living again. I’m not sure if I was your only way out but you sure made it feel like it sometimes. I might not have been willing to jump your bones, but I do care about you, and even if you won’t admit it, I know you care about me too. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>'I hope you are well and hope you get whatever it is that you were looking for.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>~Lydia</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was the third drop of water that diluted her signature that made Betelgeuse realize he was the source of the leak. He rubbed his eyes with the cuff of one of his sleeves and glared at the letter. He had wished she didn’t write. Or that Juno hadn’t delivered it to him, but here it was in his hands and now after consuming it he had to burn it. But he didn’t. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Folding the letter into a neatly pressed square, the ghost tucked the note into the inside pocket of his jacket and held it to his long-dead heart. He sat in silence, absorbing the words that Lydia had written. She was okay. That was all he needed to know. He didn’t need the garbage about her having a darkroom, or staying with the Maitlands, and he especially didn’t need to know that she cared. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He rubbed his eyes again, cursing at the steady stream of tears that were breaking out. He must be sick in the head if he was crying over a brat like her. He could go downtown and bury himself in some other hopeless dame- that’s what he should be doing instead. Getting shit faced and fucking every pair of free tits he saw. Maybe even pull a few pranks on Charles to see if he could die of freight down here too… But he didn’t do that either. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He just sat and wallowed in his own self-pity, knowing that the girl who wanted out of her life was what he was looking for, and she was now out of his reach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This fic took me much longer than I would like to admit, and if it wasn’t for the state of the pandemic I don’t think I would have been able to come back to this. (I am not cheering for the state of things, only pointing out the trend of people returning to their comforts)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To those who have been reading this from years ago and returned for the pain, thanks for sticking around. I know how awful it can be to wait for something that might not happen. I gave Rona credit for me coming back here, but it was truly because of the occasional comments I would get over the years on fanfiction.net asking when I was coming back. So an extra kudos to those of you who leave comments, even if its not with me. They do make a difference. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>With all that said, thank you again for reading but as the title implies, this is the end. Not going to tack on an extra chapter or make it into a series. An open-end is the best I can do. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And on that note, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic was originally posted on fanfiction.net, started back in 2012. Remember 2012? Good times, good times. Updating chapters and moving them over here in hopes of getting some new blood in on this fic, as well as to motivate myself to finish in a reasonable timeline- Fat chance but giving it a go.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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